


Freedom of SG-1

by Akinasky



Series: Gate to Vannas [10]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Anal Sex, Children of Characters, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Breakdown, On Hiatus, Past Rape/Non-con, Triggers, magical children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:33:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 60,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6939964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akinasky/pseuds/Akinasky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Daniel have decided to stay away from the Valley and the magic of the people, sticking close to their children in the aftermath of Zale's breakdown. They are taking some downtime and sticking close to each other, figuring out what they need and what their children might need.</p><p>Currently on Hiatus - I am so sad about this but I just can’t seem to get back to this family right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Queen's Opinion

**Author's Note:**

> I am looking forward to where this story might lead, especially with Zale's story line, I hope you all like it and let me know anything you might like to see. Please comment, kudo and Bookmark if you would like :)

It took an extra four days before someone came looking for the Jackson-O’Neill family, not that they had to go far. Akina came with Ben and Sam when she did come. Jack opened the door when they knocked frowned when he found his father, old teammate with the Queen, “Is there a problem?” Jack asked feigning innocence that only caused the ‘don’t-even-start-with-me’ looks from the Queen and his father. Sam just looked confused and concerned, after everything that happened with Johnny he knew that she was working on everything but honestly Carter being concerned about them was pretty low on Jack’s priorities at the moment, especially after the week they’d had with Zale.

Akina’s look quickly shifted into the one she wore a lot of the time when she was dealing with Jack, a little frown of confusion in the center of her forehead, her green eyes sharply focused on Jack in demand of quick answers because she was a busy woman and there was no more time for Jack’s shenanigans. His father, Ben, was smiling as he stepped forward to press a kiss to the side of Jack’s face in easy affection before he walked into the house and shouted for the kids who pounded out from the bedrooms and the kitchen so they could greet their grandfather joyfully. Jack smiled and allowed Sam in as well and Akina followed along, patting Jack on the shoulder in easy familiarity that was still disconcerting from a queen if Jack thought about it for too long before she walked in and looked around the house.

“What is happening here Jack?” Akina asked as she looked around and saw Daniel in the living room with Malachi in his lap and each of the twins around him, they must have already hugged their grandfather, and decided that Daddy and little brother were more important at the moment. Zale and Zada were still smiling and talking to Ben quickly and excitedly, causing Jack’s heart to warm at the ease in his son’s shoulders and facial features. It was a welcome change compared to the pain and anger of the previous week. Jack couldn’t lie about the fact that hearing his eldest son screaming more than once in the night and during the day had been one of the most terrifying things they’d gone through since the curse broke. Johnny was looking at Akina with a small frown on his face and Jack figured it was because he was missing his best friend, though Jack knew that Johnny was glad to be here. He couldn’t help but know how his kids were feeling a lot of the time through contact, but also because he knew his kids, but Akina was reminding him of Greer.

“What’s happening is we need the time to ourselves, and this is a nice a place as any to get some perspective. We didn’t want to worry anyone and honestly you took three more days than I thought you would, Danny bet you would wait out the whole seven days, good thing neither of us bet anything on it.” Jack stated this with a lascivious wink to which Daniel rolled his eyes before speaking.

“I’m pretty sure I know what you would have bet anyway and you are not running out of that anytime soon,” Daniel said with a grin, causing Claire to ask what that was with a whisper that was anything but. Daniel just shook his head then kissed the top of her light brown head of hair, “Nothing Princess.”

“You need more supplies, the Z-twins need to start their training for coming into adulthood and the rest of you are wanted, correction you are needed back in the Valley. Why are you in need of this perspective, especially so suddenly? I believe this to be a short vacation before you returned home.”

Jack just stared at her and waited, she had been nosing around in their minds for over a decade and now she wanted them to say it, right now when it was inconvenient and dramatic and in front of their children. Of course, the lack of privacy was just one of the many issues he’d been having for a while. Ben walked over and touched Jack’s shoulder gently gripping him. Jack looked over and raised an eyebrow in question, in silent challenge.

“If this is what you need then do it,” his father stated gently, “I will keep an eye on the house.”

Jack smiled at his father then turned back to Akina again, brow raised wondering if she was going to push the issue. He didn’t know what she was going to do or say, technically they belonged to her nation and that meant what she said was law. She may have a great relationship with them and them with her but it was hard to forget that she could snap her fingers and force them back if she wanted to, a truth that always rubbed Jack the wrong way. He had done what he had to, been respectful to the best of his ability with the military but this was different, Akina was a queen and she led her people in a way that was kind and loving but it was still strife with discomfort for the man desperate for freedom that he hadn’t understood from within the lifestyle of the USAF.

Akina was quiet for a long time, long enough for the children to get bored of the stilted drama and dragged their grandpapa out to the yard, leaving Daniel to rise with Malachi in his arms to stand close to Jack’s side. The retired General couldn’t stop from wrapping an arm around Daniel’s shoulder and just continued to wait even though the twitching unease was starting in his fingers and the slight bounce of his knee while she thought things through.

Akina took in a deep breath, crossing arms over her chest and spoke, “I do not know how smart it is to separate yourself from the healers and the magic of the Valley, if something were to happen to one of you here, there would be no chance of knowing. You would be cut off for as long as you are here.”

Daniel shrugged in a ridiculously graceful and kind motion, almost like he didn’t care what she had to say but he did at the same time. Jack didn’t think he could describe Daniel’s capacity for love and kindness in one motion but it was there for everyone to see as long as they knew what to look for. Then he spoke, “Maybe we need that right now for a little while, magic has done so much harm in the last couple of years, it has taken more than it has given and we are all dependent on it, much like a drug. Please understand that this isn’t about not caring about the people of the Valley, or you or anything, this is about doing what needs doing despite the pain it may cause.”

“Everyone here is dependent on magic, it is the way we live,” Akina said and there was a question in there despite the fact that it was left unasked.

“Not for us, not for a little while,” Daniel stated gently, his tone not calling her authority into question in the slightest but holding his ground all the same. It was always interesting to watch Daniel get things explained to other people, Jack had always been a shove it in their face kind of guy whereas Daniel seemed to get what he needed without ever raising his voice, except with Jack of course.

“Your children are magical!” Akina stated, her voice rising in annoyance and Jack immediately took Malachi from Daniel’s arms. This was Daniel’s charge right now, he made this choice and Jack agreed but the archeologist was much better with Akina than he was. They had always been kindred spirits. Plus Malachi was looking back and forth between his Daddy and the queen with a little quiver and a whole truck load of uncertainty at the situation. The little boy tucked his head into Jack’s neck immediately, looking for comfort at the rising tension in the room. He may not be magical but he knew how to read the room just as well as any of the other children and right now Jack felt no need or desire to get into the argument as well so he could buffer their sensitive son.

“Magic is a part of who they are but it is not who they are, we need them to really know that and I don’t think the island is where they are going to learn that. It defines who you are Akina! It defines all of you and I understand that but we are not magical. Zale and Zada are too powerful for you to ignore, to not cultivate them as powerful warriors, I understand that but its killing Zale and I will not allow that to happen. My son comes before your people and kingdom and especially your war. Magic has been tearing our family apart for the last couple of years and I think it comes down to the fact that the label of Vannas on our children is defining them or that Lust and Desire are their mothers. We need a chance to let them redefine themselves as Zale Charles, Zada Rea, Claire Samantha, Janet Catherine, Jonathan Hammond and Malachi Asher.”

Jack didn’t think he’d ever heard all the children’s names listed like that and he looked down at their youngest son and smiled, they were ridiculously blessed to have such beautiful children and to know that they were all alive right now was something Jack had never known was possible. He hoped he could learn along with his children what kind of boys and girls they were, what they would be without the magic.

“Jackson-O’Neill,” Jack threw in, just in case anybody missed the fact that after all this time, they were not Lust and Desire’s children, they were Jack and Daniel’s children. There was a lot of proof in just the way Janet and Claire were using their bio-mom’s powers or actually not using them, or the fact that Zale didn’t want to be a warrior and Zada despite her cavalier attitude about fighting cared about everything and everybody. Watching her struggle with Zale’s trouble in the last week was proof of that.

There had been a lot of pain and hurt because the women went back on their word and used their powers to try to scare Jack and Daniel into giving them the children, though now that he thought about it magic was the crux of that pain as well. If they hadn’t had magic, the fire wouldn’t have engulfed the house, he wouldn’t have almost died because of the pregnancy with Malachi. Too bad there was no gloating to be had at the thought of being right, it would not protect their children and it would not protect Daniel.

Akina glared at Daniel, ignoring Jack though Daniel smiled at him at their private long standing joke. She was waiting for him to falter under her steely gaze but she was messing with the wrong set of daddies, this was about their children and Daniel wasn’t going to blink first. There was no doubt about that. It was weird for Jack to sit back and wait to see if he was needed, he was so used to being the protector but Daniel had done everything he had to do to become just as much the protector, without losing the nurturing loving Daddy that he was.

It was just another reason Jack loved his Danny and why he was so special.

Jack’s gaze snapped between Daniel’s casual stance that belied the fact that he was deadly serious about this. Then over to where Akina was standing with her hands on her hips, fire in her gaze as well as a dose of confused hurt as well. Jack didn’t understand the hurt; there was nothing Daniel had stated that had been about Akina personally, nothing to cause her pain in their need to protect their children.

“If you stay here you could be captured and tortured,” Akina said in her attempt to sway them. Jack fought the urge to snort; he’d been kidnapped and tortured while he’d been in the Valley at least once, kidnapped a few other times while in the care and protection of a Vannas, so that was clearly no guarantee.

Daniel cocked his head, “You don’t have a protection barrier around us?” he asked incredulously. Jack frowned at that, he hadn’t really considered that as a possibility but then he didn’t really concern himself with what Akina was doing or why though he was curious now that Daniel brought it to his attention.

She rolled her eyes and sighed as she crossed her arms as if she was protecting herself from Daniel’s gaze and question. After a few seconds she started shifting from foot to foot then she groaned and blurted out, “Well yes, when you put it that way. It is just around the house not you personally. Not a barrier really just a spell to make others who would possibly do you harm not notice the house or your presence in it. It’s on the house, not on the area and I had to protect you!”

Jack sighed right back when she ran out of steam. Daniel smiled a little as he continued, “I understand that Akina but we are not children. We are among your people and we have a place there but this is about us as a family. Jack has survived off the island before, Zale and Zada are more than capable of dealing with anything and we need to stand on our feet as a family. This is not about you being a bad leader or whatever you think it might be about, this is not about us thinking magic is all together bad but we can’t keep depending on it for everything. That’s not who we are.”

“How do you expect to get food and supplies?” Akina asked, resignation clear in her tone and also a little smug like she knew magic was going to be the way they got food and supplies.

“I know how to hunt, so do the Z-twins,” Jack said with a shrug. They had access to a nearby fresh water stream if anything weird happened with the house, though it had running water as well as heat and the normal amenities of life. Jack and Daniel had camped on other planets more than once and this was nowhere near roughing it. They would be okay for a little while and with a steady influx of small game or slightly larger animals as well as foraging for vegetables in the nearby forest would see them through, its what they ate most of the time back home.

“This is what you need?” Akina asked with a sigh that sounded more like resignation than hurt now, she must’ve heard in Daniel’s tone and his thoughts that this really wasn’t about her.

“Yes,” Daniel returned gently.

“Are you coming home at some point?” the queen queried as she uncrossed her arms and relaxed her dominant fighting stance. It hadn’t worked on Daniel at all but she was willing to try anything apparently, Jack knew that was just Akina being herself. She wasn’t used to people arguing with her protection or her edicts, she shouldn’t be since she was the queen but Jack was with Daniel about this, his children were more important than the queen. Or the Vannas and the Valley as a whole.

“Yes, of course, it’s our home too. This is time away, ten years of vacations that we never took and maybe we should have,” Daniel said with a side wink to Jack who smiled in return a little grin as well. There were a lot of times that the politics and the work they were offered in the Valley had caused fights and strife in their home, they couldn’t go back now but they could take this time off.

He watched as Daniel walked over and enveloped Akina in a tight hug for a minute with a hand pressed to the back of her neck and the other at her back. Akina gripped Daniel close to her as well, a shine of tears aching to fall from her eyes but she just blinked them away and smiled as she took a step back. Jack walked over and gave her a quick hug as well before she walked towards the back door; in search of her tag-a-longs that were playing with the children in back.

Jack watched as Sam walked in and frowned at them like she had all the questions that Akina did but none of the gumption it would take to ask them. Jack knew that they had gotten over a lot of what happened with her when she had gone bat crap crazy and kissed Jack then allowed Johnny to run headlong into danger but there was something different since then. There was a distance now, especially between Daniel and Sam and Jack knew how much that hurt both of them. She walked forward and pressed a hand on Daniel’s shoulder and he smiled, placing a hand over hers and squeezing for a moment before he hugged her.

“We’ll see you when you get back then?” she asked, instead of the hundred other things she wanted to say. Honestly Jack wanted to make her just spit it out but at the same time, this wasn’t the time or the place for some of the questions she may have wanted to ask. Was this about her still? Not that it was. What could she do to help? Nothing. He had no idea what was really going on inside her head but figured if she didn’t have the guts to ask then he had no reason to answer. He nodded to her then she took a step back and waited while Ben said goodbye to all the children then Akina leaned down and pressed something into Johnny’s hand, she spoke to him quietly and he nodded. Jack frowned for a minute but refocused when his dad walked over and hugged him again.

“Be safe and keep those babies and your husband safe, you are going to have hell on your hands if anything happens to them and its coming from all sides,” his pop said and Jack nodded, knowing that it wasn’t a threat but a promise.

Ben pressed another kiss to Jack’s cheek then he kissed Malachi on the head as the littlest Jackson-O’Neill sent a slobbering grin to his grandpapa. Then Ben was moving over to hug Daniel and Jack couldn’t help but smile when Daniel gripped Ben around the shoulders and melted into the parental contact. Daniel’s relationship with Ben had always been a great blessing in Jack’s eyes, especially because Daniel deserved to have parents again, even if he was an in-law. He whispered something in Daniel’s ear and Jack snorted while Daniel’s eyes shimmered a little at whatever he said and then he walked over and extricated his husband from his father, “Seriously man, find your own archeologist,” Jack joked since it was another one of their ongoing jokes and it made Daniel chuckle as he pressed close to Jack’s side and his nose pressed into the space between Malachi’s head and Jack’s shoulder for a quick sniffle then they were walking their guests to the door and closing it behind them.

Daniel heaved a sigh before he took Malachi back and settled back down on the couch and leaned his head against the back, the relief was apparent in the dropping of his shoulders and the way the tension lines on his face evened out. Jack walked over and sat down next to him and nudged his shoulder until Daniel moved and let him wrap an arm around his body.

“That was hard to do huh?” Jack asked, pressing a kiss to Daniel’s temple where he was leaned over on Jack’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I hate when Akina and I are on opposite sides of the argument, it doesn’t seem to happen very often but when it does it’s because of the kids and that we have a different way of raising them. We never planned on having magical children but when we had Johnny and the twins we knew that’s what we were in for. Well sort of…” Jack snorted at that, thinking about Johnny and everything going on with the girls and Malachi as well. Daniel continued after he gave Daniel a little smirk, “I love them so much I can barely stand it but we shouldn’t have to explain why we are choosing to parent and live the way we do. She’s so set in her ways sometimes, I don’t get it.”

Jack snorted again, this time because that description sounded oh so familiar and Daniel nudged him in the side in retaliation for his snarky noise so Jack defended himself. “Hey now, I am just thinking that there is someone I know that is a lot like that sometimes. I totally agree with you about this subject but sometimes, especially when it comes to our kids, you are very sure on how things are going to go.”

Daniel nodded into Jack’s shoulder and he could see the edges of Daniel’s sheepish expression despite the vantage point Jack was looking from, “I guess I had that coming. I don’t want them to be defined by something like this. It’s like defining you for being in love with me, like your family did, like it undid everything else about you. Like you weren’t their son or brother anymore because you fell in love. And you dared to fall in love with a man. Or treating you a certain way because you are military and I am a scientist. I just hate that it exists here too, it isn’t in an unkind or purposefully hurtful like it could be back home but I think our children have been hurt by it either way, especially Zale.”

“You don’t have to convince me Danny,” Jack responded gently.

Daniel groaned, “I know that, god.” He rubbed a hand over his face in frustration and Jack just hugged him tighter, “I don’t know why I am trying to convince you right now.”

“You are all wound up from dealing with Akina, why don’t we just go outside with the children and play catch or something.”

Daniel nodded and they grappled with each other and Malachi, getting up and walked towards the back yard and did just that, they played with their kids. They didn’t do anything other than be parents and be silly, there was nothing more than the laughter of the family all together, parents listening to the random sounds of joy and happiness. It was all that mattered at that one moment in time.


	2. Going My Own Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zale's story is nowhere near finished, still has the voice of Xylander in his head.

Zale watched as his fathers ran around in between the trees, weaving in and out of them. Papa was holding Malachi, the giggling little boy being passed from one parent to the other while Janet and Claire ran around as well. They were playing tag, Pop and Dad against the kids and this particular game was called ‘Freeze tag’ something silly that Pop taught them when they were young, then they’d seen it in person when they were in the past. They hadn’t been there long but in the time they had met a few other children for various reasons. Tag was apparently a big part of a lot of children’s lives and he was pleased to know his brothers and sisters would have it too, it was just so silly to watch. Pop tagged Johnny and he immediately froze where he stood, almost pitching Pop and them into the ground. Pop stumbled and grumbled about it before leaning down and kissing Johnny on the head, “Sorry buddy, now you have to wait till someone comes and gets you.”

Then Pop was off again, it didn’t take more than a minute before Claire ‘unfroze’ her brother and Zale smiled. He looked across the yard where Zada was sitting, watching the silliness as well. She was holding Malachi now, as Dad and Pop were apparently taking this just as seriously as Janet, Claire and Johnny. Malachi was giggling and smiling still, Zale wished for more than a few seconds that he could throw off the weight of adulthood, of transition and run with them or tickle his little brother. He wished he could shed the weight of his past but there was nothing to shed without losing a deep-seated part of who he was. He didn’t know how to be innocent anymore, didn’t know if he ever had.

_‘You could never be innocent. You were born a warrior; we do not have the capacity for innocence. You have always known this, that is why you struggle to be a part of this family.’_

Zale shook his head; he didn’t believe that much like a lot of the other ridiculous things his Magis tells him. It was hard because Xylander tended to speak to him in his own voice, so it felt too real to ignore or take for granted but he didn’t believe _that._ He didn’t want to play with his siblings right now but he had never truly felt apart from them. Right now he mourned the sadness and fear he felt but he didn’t ever have to wonder if he was honestly loved and understood. Dad was there when Zale killed the man that almost killed Johnny. Zale also watched his kind and compassionate Dad turn into a warrior, capable of turning off the give-a-damn, like Pop would say, before he turned it right back on. Pop had stories of awful things he’d done in his past and he was still smiling and laughing, full of silliness and love.

Why couldn’t he do the same?

 _‘Because you are not like them, you are wrong. You are flawed and broken!’_ his Magis screeched and Zale closed his eyes for a moment and slammed the door in his mind on the creature that shared his headspace. He could have done the necessary thing, push Xylander so far down into a dungeon in his mind, he could bind his magic to shut the creature up but he couldn’t. He had power that would keep his family alive and safe out here in the world, he had a magical destiny that he couldn’t ignore. So he would listen and find faith in the way his family loved him, he would mute the painful messages that his Magis told him, he would refuse to believe it.

No matter what, he would prove Xylander wrong.

_Flawed._

_Broken._

_Not a part of them…_

Zale pulled in a deep breath, closed his eyes on the pain trying to choke him at the echoed words in his mind. He rose from where he was sitting, just in time to step into the path of his racing little brother and they both fell to the ground, Zale could hear the shouts of concern along with the laughter as he looked at Johnny’s laughing gaze, then they turned concerned and anxious. Zale patted his brother on the back, laughing off the accident and immediately put Johnny back on his feet while Pop and Dad rushed over and checked Johnny then leaned down to drag Zale to his feet. Dad was smiling, though there was that concern that seemed to be an ever-present expression on the man’s face these last couple of weeks.

“You okay Z-Man?” Pop asked as he pulled him close for a hug, as if he just couldn’t help but hug his son. Zale wrapped his arms around Pop’s back and tightened his hold for a second, asking silently for help even though he didn’t know if he could really be helped. He tucked his face into Pop’s shirt and hid the damning tears that threatened to escape.

“I’m not hurt. Sorry I wasn’t paying attention,” Zale said and turned as he released his hold on Pop and turned away. He wanted to be here, wanted so desperately to play and be silly but he just couldn’t seem to do it.

He was broken and they were going to figure it out sooner or later.

“I’m going to go for a walk okay?” he asked, trying desperately to control his voice.

“You okay kiddo?” Jack asked.

He nodded even though every scrap of his heart screamed out for someone to know that he wasn’t. At the same time, he desperately needed them not to know. They had done everything to help him through the last week; they deserved a real rest, not just be here to deal with his head problems.

“Okay, be back in less than an hour and stay within shouting distance,” Pop replied.

“Do you have your dagger and sword?” Dad asked even though he could see them both on Zale’s back and waist. Zale nodded anyway then took off, shutting out the voices of his family that he was leaving behind; shutting out the voices within and just ran away.

 

Daniel and Jack both watched as Zale took off and hoped he was doing okay, that he would tell them if he wasn’t. Daniel wanted to reach out and touch his end of the parental bond he shared with Zale but he didn’t know how to access it very well and he had no intention of using it against his son.

“He’s not going very far Danny,” Jack crooned gently as they watched Zale scoot around the corner of the cabin so they couldn’t see him anymore.

Daniel nodded, “I know.” He looked down and found Johnny staring off after his brother as well, gripping something in his hand and rubbing his arm gently, as if he’d had goose bumps or something. “Johnny, are you okay?”

His son looked up and over at him, smiled and spoke into his mind which cause Jack to stop and turn back so they were apparently both hearing him, _“He’s hurting. Daddy, I heard what he’s thinking a little bit. He thinks he’s broken because he’s sad.”_

Jack groaned, “Oh god,” he muttered and Daniel couldn’t help but want to agree. Zale was such a sensitive kid, everything affecting him and he should’ve known that the crap with Xylander wasn’t over. It was just getting better. Staying here, Daniel figured, has turned out to be one of the best decisions they have made for their family in a while. Zale definitely still needed this and them if he thought he was broken because he was struggling with a classic case of depression along with a very unique problem to go along with it. Actually, if it goes on for too long, they would contact Erica because she knew more about the various Vannas/Magis relationships in the Valley and she wasn’t Akina. The queen was too good and being the boss whereas Erica had been a close family friend and their healer for a long time. For now though he would just have to give his son some space, which he hated more than he could say in words.

“What did Queen Zarkina give to you?” he asked, pressing a hand into his son’s hair and scrubbing his fingers through the soft strands. Johnny lifted his hand and opened to show a small stone, like a worry stone and there was a word craved into it. It was Johnny’s name and Daniel rubbed his finger across the surface, surprised when an image of Greer popped up out of the stone. Johnny smiled and used some one handed gestures to speak to the little Greer then the boy spoke back and Daniel realized it was some kind of communication device.

“Mr. Jackson-O’Neill, I hope this is agreeable to you. My mother wondered if this was going to happen, that you would need this time and I couldn’t stand the idea of being out of contact with Johnny. This stone is a direct link only to me, my mother will not have access to it, she will leave you to your ‘vacation’. May I stay in contact with your son?”

Daniel looked to Jack and the older General nodded and Daniel did as well. Greer waved goodbye to Johnny and the stone went dark again. It was funny when anyone referred to them by anything more than Daniel and Jack but the Prince was undoubtedly being as respectful as he could be so he would be able to stay in contact with Johnny. They weren’t going to take that away from their son, the relationship they had was a defining part of Johnny and it was one of the things that kept him healthy in tough times but they were constantly on the look out for the relationship to get too pushy like it was a couple years ago before they all had a nice long talk with Akina and the boy. Despite the fact that Greer was thirteen or fourteen, about the same age as Zale and Zada while Johnny was still ten, it didn’t seem to matter to either child.

Since that seemed to be handled, Johnny waved and went after his sisters who were still running around. Malachi was toddling around, his hands in Zada’s hands so she could steady him. Daniel looked back in the direction that his eldest son went in and sighed.

Jack moved closer, pressing against Daniel’s side as a warm blanket of comfort. He pressed back into his husband and groaned, “I know this isn’t about just him. I just so desperately want to go be with him.”

“Then go Danny, I got the kids and he needs you. You need each other.”

Daniel shifted and pressed a desperate and hard kiss to his husband’s lips, pressing a hand into the back of his neck to hold him close. He felt when Jack’s hand pressed into his lower back, keeping as close as he could for as long as possible before Daniel pressed another peck of a kiss to his General’s lips and walking the way his son went. He reached into the lightest part of his mind, the place where Zale’s bond was with him. He asked for the connection to tell him where he should go. He let go of the hard walls that he tried to keep up, to give his son privacy and found that Zale was feeling all sorts of feelings, many that Johnny mentioned, even in passing, but he was thankfully not in danger or anything. There shouldn’t be anything out this far; it was away from the city as well as the ZarCorp bases. There was always a chance a B-Hunter could come at them but he believed that between their swords and the powers of the children, they would have what they needed to be safe. Most people in Zarcorp didn’t even know about them anymore, SG-1 had become a part of the woodwork and not even a very interesting part, the interest Zarranth had in them in the first couple of years after they arrived here, it was different but now they were just not worth any of the effort that it would require to take them hostage, in fact Jack and Daniel both knew how to pass for humans of this timeline, it was a skill they had learned from Erica and Alec in all their sessions together over the years.

Daniel used the connection to shift his direction and it led him right to where Zale was, about a five-minute walk out from the house and he was sitting on a downed log looking wounded until he realized Daniel was there which only gave him a second before the pre-teen straightened and wiped away any evidence of him feeling what he was at the moment. Daniel walked by a near tree and knocked on it as if he could ask permission to enter into his son’s space. He’d already used the connection to find Zale; he didn’t have the right to keep Zale from some peace and privacy. His son nodded so Daniel walked the rest of the way over to him.

“Hey kiddo, how you doing?” he asked in a normal voice, one as normal as he could make though if Zale’s rolling eyes and smirking lips were to be believed, he didn’t do a good enough job sounding normal.

“You shouldn’t have to worry about me, I’m fine Dad.”

“Liar,” Daniel said with a chuckle as he pulled Zale close for a hug. “My whole job in life is to make sure you’re going to be okay no matter how long it takes or what it takes. You think we were only going to be there for you for a week? Come on son, you better figure that out quick before your father hears that’s what you’re thinking.”

Zale laughed, stuttered into a sob then straightened into a cough. It was one of the most convoluted things the dad had ever heard from his son though it wasn’t the first time he’d heard it. He’d heard it from his son and he recognized from himself. He couldn’t be a hypocrite about this, he’d done the same thing his son was guilty of doing now, which was thinking he wasn’t worth the time and energy it would take to make sure he was okay. He’d done it more than once with Jack during their decade long love affair.

“I don’t think this is fixable, not without giving up the magic and I don’t think I can do that.”

Daniel leaned in close, pressing his head to the side of Zale’s head gently while he asked, “Why?” his tone was calm and loving, a simple confusion about his son’s reasoning before he had any say about the opinion.”

“I have to keep the power, I won’t be able to fight, I won’t be able to protect us. I won’t be able to fight like the others; I won’t be able to help the Queen in the future. She has made it very clear, that the strength of our powers means that we are going to be very important. I have a magical destiny.”

Daniel groaned, letting his head fall on his son’s slim shoulders for a second. He was still pretty slender though it seemed like he was growing faster than they could clothe him, not only in an upward direction but also in muscle mass these days. It wasn’t going to be very long before Zale and Zada were considered adults and they were going to have a hard time not leaving to start their adult lives. Daniel shook off the melancholy that thought brought along with it and spoke, “Can I make something abundantly clear to you right now? Something you are probably not going to know if you can accept, but I am just asking you to hear me out about it.”

Zale nodded and Daniel sat up and turning on the log so he could look into his son’s vibrant blue eyes, at some point the clarity of his eyes had even surpassed Daniel’s own blue eyes and they were something to behold, he loved this kid some much. His heart clenched a little at the thought before he cleared his throat, hoping he would be able to make it through this before he did something not so manly like cry in front of his getting-to-be-a-man eldest son.

“Zale Charles, you are not required to do any of those things, you are not responsible for protecting us, and it’s Pop and my job to protect you. It is not your job to honor someone’s idea of your destiny, and its definitely not your job in life to do what other people think you should or shouldn’t do, not if it isn’t what you want. And hell no if it’s going to hurt you. This is hurting you now, the magic and please don’t try to argue and say its all going to be okay. It hasn’t been okay for a long time. We had a free period without Xylander causing more pain but apparently he was just napping between bouts of crazy.”

This time Zale’s chuckle was more sob than anything and he watched as the words he spoke caused more and more shimmer to appear in his son’s eyes, mostly sadness and confusion as well as a dash of fear and shame. Daniel hated to see the shame in his son’s gaze, in the slight hunch of his shoulders and the stammer in his breath.

He couldn’t help the responding tears clinging to the edge of his lashes at the sight. He didn’t know what they could do at this point, with Daniel and Jack as parents, they were bound to have overly self-sufficient children and they had always known that but the parents still had a responsibility and a desire to help their children when they were having trouble with how to deal with life. This was one of those moments. He didn’t know if he could tell his son to lock away his magic but he did know it was his responsibility to let Zale know he had the choice to do it.

He knew he would have to ask the hard questions; Zale wouldn’t be able to see past his self-sacrificing gene to the truth of what he needed. Daniel knew the kind of damage that need to save others had done to him in the past and didn’t want that life for his son. It was only really when Jack and Daniel started to teach each other to take care of themselves first that Daniel really understood it was an option. He’d never really known it was, Daniel pressed a hand into Zale’s neck, feeling the warmth of his skin and the patter of his pulse against his palm and waited as his son leaned into the gentle touch before he spoke.

“Hear me now Zale, you have a choice to shut down your magic, to learn who you are without him in your head. This is an incredibly difficult time in any person’s life, it is when you are going to learn who you are and you deserve to learn without the machinations of some centuries old creature in your head that doesn’t seem to care one whit about you and your health. You have no need to prove yourself to the queen and she has no goddamned right to tell you about a destiny that you want no part of. As far as I know, no one has seen anything specific and guess what, even if they had she still doesn’t have the right to feed you to her war machine at the expense of your sanity and happiness.”

Zale looked down then brought his gaze back up gently, “You love Akina, you love the Valley and the Vannas.”

Daniel sighed, “Yes of course I do but not as much as I love you kiddo. Okay?”

He watched the tears and sadness spilled over finally and he couldn’t stop as the moisture trickled down from his eyes and over his cheeks. He felt, in the back of his mind where their parental bond resided, when the dam on his son’s emotions ruptured and he fell forward into Daniel’s arms. He held his son close and just let him feel all the things he was feeling but the most important thing he felt from Zale’s mind and heart was the hope lingering in the background like a terrified child who had been struck one to many times. He tightened his hold just a little more and listened for a few minutes while he crooned gently into the side of Zale’s head, he just spoke to him and let him know he didn’t have to do this by himself. He didn’t have to do all the things he was so sure he was destined for.

“You can just be our beautiful son, just be Zale, okay?”

Zale nodded into his neck, still saying nothing but after a few more minutes of Daniel talking him down and Zale crying out his feelings, they were both calm enough to wipe away tears and sniff away the snot that was all over before they chuckled and started walking back to the cabin. Daniel looked away from the path at his son and smiled for a moment then heard the juddering kerthunk of something landing behind them and turned slowly. Daniel reached for the dagger he always wore in his boot and the other at his back while they turned, Zale pulling his sword from the sheath at his waist and found one of the creatures that science forgot in front of them. This ConjoCrea was built with some sort of feline predator, possibly what was once a tiger due to its coloring, its face and chest was like a jungle cat, the rear end of it more like a reptile, and a flipping and fierce tail swung out around it. Daniel groaned, “What the hell is that doing so close to the water? They don’t come out this far very often.”

“Dad, get behind me please?” Zale implored quietly even as Daniel moved into position to protect his son.

“No Z-Man, I have done more than enough to make you believe that Papa and I need you to take care of us. These monsters are not going to be the end of us, this one isn’t going to touch you.”

“Dad!” Zale hissed, annoyed and more than a little done with his Dad’s display at the moment but there was something to be said about a public display of strength. He’d done it years before then those warriors were trying to steal him from Jack, he would do what he had to do. This monster wasn’t very large, not much bigger than it’s tiger ‘ancestors’ would have been, nowhere as big as Taj and his mate.

Daniel could fight and show his son that they were going to be fine, they didn’t need him to give up himself for the sake of the family. He rushed forward, feeling all his years for the first time in awhile, probably due to the fact that he hadn’t been training with Adrian and the Greer brothers lately, he was getting soft and that was going to stop right now.

Daniel lunged off to the side while the ConjoCrea pounced forward at him. He watched the haunches, grateful that the back legs of the creature obviously slowed it down instead of giving it strength to kill him faster. Daniel got in a few good hits, causing the creature to howl and hiss before it got lucky and batted him hard across the chest, and he hissed at the piercing pain of the three or four claws digging through the skin. He vaguely heard when Zale shouted and started forward and then there was another growl and Zale’s shout of surprise. Daniel looked around as he struggled to his feet, the blood loss wasn’t going to be bad enough to kill him, and it would just sting and prove his son’s point obnoxiously well. But then he realized that Zale was helping him to move away from the fight quickly instead of taking part in the actual fight.

“Zale, the creature?” Daniel asked, he’d lost sight in his tumble to the forest floor. Zale turned him in the right direction and he found a soft white tiger, about two hands shorter than Taj at the withers, which put it a head above the creature. The horse-sized tiger was definitely more than capable of fighting and father and son both watched as the tiger took the creature by the throat and whipped it hard into the ground, snapping the neck in a sound that was overly loud in the silence of the forest. Though now that the thumping and twisting sounds of the fight were dissipating, Daniel could hear the clattering of feet and the shouts from nearby. The rest of the family were coming to them, would be there any second.

Daniel looked down at the specs of blood clinging to the ragged edges of his shirt and groaned, Jack was thankfully much calmer after years of non life-threatening spills that he wouldn’t feel the need to wrap Daniel in a plastic bubble but just barely.

Zale reached out and pressed a hand to the front of Daniel’s chest, “Should I?” he asked, proving that maybe he’d actually heard something Daniel said a few minutes before because normally he just healed without asking permission.

Daniel shook his head, “I’m okay Z, where did the Taj look-alike come from?” he asked, to distract from the pain as well as distract his son from the need to heal his father before anyone saw Daniel like that.

Zale looked over as the white beast checked over the carcass of the creature, growled at it one last time before it turned and walked a few steps over and plopped down in front of them. It kept eye contact with Zale, much like Taj always did with Jack when the big predator used to speak to the man. Daniel had never heard the big predator talk but he always wondered if it was because Jack and Taj had bonded, while Taj had just been a pet to Daniel. He shrugged it off as Zale ‘listened’ to something then he shifted and they started walking back to the cabin just as Jack and the others ran through the trees towards them. Jack rushed forward and pulled Daniel into his arms, getting blood on his clothes and the process, though thankfully not causing any more pain in the wound as the retired General curled himself around his hurting husband for comfort.

“Are you okay?” Jack demanded, check both his husband and son over thoroughly as he could without being overly touchy in front of the children. Daniel shooed his hands away from the slight scratches and listened as Zale remarked casually.

“There was a ConjoCrea here, Dad fought it off even though I could have done it, I should’ve done it Dad!” the last word was an accusation if Daniel had ever heard one though at the raised brow on his husband he just shrugged as if to say ‘You would have done it too…’

Zale continued, “One of Taj’s kittens were here, possibly from his second or third litter, I think some of them got to the mainland somehow and they scented us here, they have been here with us since we got here. They hadn’t needed to protect us so he had stayed in the shadows. His name is Chrome. Like Monochrome, like one color,” Zale said with a chuckle that sounded more like his son than Daniel had heard all week and he grinned in response.

“How do you know all that?” Jack asked as they all turned back towards the cabin where the antibiotics were stashed, they were mostly magical but with Jack and Daniel around they always had supplies for just in case.

“Chrome told me, he remembered us from when he was a kitten, playing with us in the backyard. When we got older, he decided to come to the mainland and fight the creatures but always stayed close in case he got a chance to see us again.”

“Weird, its like Taj for sure, I still see him a lot, he is just as retired as me mostly,” Jack said with a shrug while Zale helped his father into the chair before Jack took over the medicine and cleaning the wound. Daniel reached out and grabbed his son’s hand, “Remember what we talked about okay?” he asked. Zale nodded and walked away without another word and Daniel figured that was the best he was going to get right now.


	3. Hold Me Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel and Jack take a little time for themselves after an adventure in the woods.

Jack helped his husband finish up cleaning and bandaging his wound, knowing that it wasn’t bad enough to require magical healing and Jack was surprised that it required bandages at all since Zale normally would have already healed something like this before he even got inside the door but Daniel seemed okay with the fact that he was being bandaged at the moment so Jack wasn’t going to worry so much about that. He put the finishing touches on the wrap around Daniel’s chest and pressed a gentle hand into his husband’s shoulder, “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“There was a fight, I got swiped at, big cat saved us and here we are, ta-da!” Daniel said with an unmistakable rolling of his eyes and a quick jazz hands move that clearly told Jack how little the attack was in the grand scheme of things, and Jack had to agree. If Daniel and Zale were both relatively unscathed and home then Jack didn’t really care about getting more details about that, they’d seen and fought off more than a few test-tube monsters in their life, it wasn’t really a big deal.

Jack smiled at the comment though mostly because it was just like Jack to describe it like that and Daniel had clearly been with him long enough to pick up more than one of Jack’s bad habits, especially in the last couple of years. He continued to clean up the remnants of the bandaging as he chuckled, “Not what I’m talking about Daniel but thanks for the recap.”

Daniel sighed and tugged Jack down so they both flopped onto the floor in front of the chair so Daniel could curl into Jack’s chest. The retired soldier pressed closer to his husband, smiling at the contact and waited for Daniel to talk. “I don’t know what he’s going to do, I don’t know if I said enough or if he heard me about any of it but he truly believes that its his responsibility to protect us, to help the queen and to honor a magical destiny he believes he has because Akina has been pushing that belief into our children for a good chunk of their lives. I don’t know how to deal with how that’s making me feel at the moment but I think he heard me.”

“Heard you saying what?” Jack asked gently as he rubbed a hand up and down Daniel’s back and over his shoulder, offering the comfort that he could.

“Saying that he can lock down his magic, he doesn’t have to do anything. He doesn’t have to be more than Zale right now. He’s not going to be less then by not having magic. I don’t know if he’s going to be able to do it soon but maybe we are going to be here long enough that he has a chance to see another way. I don’t want to lose him because of the magic.”

Jack tightened his arms around Daniel’s shoulder and pressed a kiss into his head. “We’re not going to lose him, there is no way we are going to stop fighting for him, for all of them. If what he needs is a clear command about this, even for a short time, then we can do that. I know that we have always done what we must to allow them to be who they are—magic and all but that doesn’t have to remain the right answer. We know the kind of damage magic can really do and that changes things. It changed all of us, and we have to be ready to change the rules when it’s necessary.”

Daniel shifted against him, nodding then turned enough to frown up at Jack, “Where are the rest of the kids anyway?”

“They are in the living room playing together. Zale and Zada are with them, they will be just fine while I take care of you for a little while.”

“I don’t need to be taken care of,” Daniel grumbled with a pretty strong pout to go with it and Jack chuckled in response, shaking his head.

“Danny, I know you don’t need to be taken care but I sure do enjoy it when I get the chance. Will you just let us be Jack and Daniel for a few minutes before we return to Papa and Daddy?”

Daniel snorted, leaning against Jack’s shoulder and heaved a sigh that was more tired than anything, “Can we go to the bedroom for a little while?”

Jack nodded and helped Daniel to his feet, they should change out of the blood stained clothes they were wearing anyway. Daniel walked over to the stairs, stopped and waited as Jack checked on the kids. They were all strewn around the room and he smiled as he leaned against the doorway, “Hey guys, Daddy and I are going upstairs for a little while. Just holler if you need anything.”

“We got this, Papa,” Zada said with a smile, “We’ll make some dinner for the others.”

Jack didn’t think they were going to be away from the children long enough to need the elder Jackson-O’Neill twin’s to make dinner but he nodded and waved to Malachi who smiled at him before he turned back and he walked Daniel upstairs. He pressed a hand to Daniel’s lower back and guided him into their bedroom and closed the door behind them. Daniel walked across the room and flopped inelegantly into the bed. Jack smiled as he walked towards the bed as well, letting his hand slide down and off the wood before he moved close enough to tug Daniel’s shoes off then sitting down next to Daniel’s prone body. He pulled off his shoes and shirt. He pressed in close behind his husband, wrapping an arm around his stomach, sliding his palm over and up to rest gently close to Daniel’s thudding heartbeat. Daniel sighed and leaned into the touch, pushing back into Jack’s chest and heat. Jack smiled at the move; it had been too long since they were allowed this kind of moment and silence. The last week had been given graciously to Zale and they would continue to give what they had to for the children but this moment right now, Jack just held Daniel close.

“I missed this,” Daniel whispered hoarsely, the words almost swallowed in the sound of their breathing and the thudding of their heartbeats, it was so quiet.

Jack smiled, pressing another kiss into the side of Daniel’s neck, opening his lips so his teeth scraped along the pulse point and the younger man shuddered at the contact. Daniel’s hand reached up to hold onto Jack’s where it was still over Daniel’s heart while his other hand grappled behind him until it gripped at Jack’s hip and pulled him in even tighter. Daniel moaned at the feel of Jack’s half hard erection pressing into his thigh. Sometimes Jack wished that they didn’t live in the future where magic made the world an interesting and annoying place, sometimes a dangerous and destructive place but then again there were days when he was thoroughly pleased with his overall health and ability to keep it up when Daniel was in the mood despite his age. Though he didn’t think much of it was the magic and healthy lifestyle they lived and much more to do with how much he loved loving Daniel.

“Jack?” Daniel asked, uncertain for some bizarre reason.

“Danny, this is a vacation, shouldn’t we take advantage of a little alone time as well?”

The archeologist nodded, panting a little as Jack’s teeth, tongue and lips continued to explore the long and beautiful column of Daniel’s neck. He swept up the scent and taste of Daniel’s skin while he nudged Daniel onto his back. Jack leaned down and pressed his lips into Daniel’s mouth, which fell open, and he nibbled at the edge of Daniel’s lower lip. He felt when Daniel’s hand slipped up and around the back of Jack’s neck and pulled him in tight. Jack moved his hand down to push at Daniel’s clothes, trying to unbutton the shirt keeping him from all the skin he desired. Daniel wouldn’t let him go though, his hands were pressed into the back of his neck, the other along his upper back from under his arm. Jack kissed Daniel for a few more minutes, messy and amazing and oh so worth the wait but Jack got sick of all the clothes so he pulled back and started pulling the shirt off of his husband. Daniel immediately went for the tie of his pants and they both fumbled around for a few minutes, chuckling when they bumped into each other before both falling backwards so they could get out of their pants and boxers. Finally, watching, as Daniel finally got naked with a grin on his face, Jack pressed his husband back down into the mattress and reached out to the bedside table and opened the drawer to grab the lube and brought it back. Daniel grabbed the tub from him, opening it with shaking fingers as he scooped out some of the viscous fluid and reached down to slide his messy fingers and palm around Jack’s hard cock and he moaned into Daniel’s neck as he jerked and thrust into Daniel’s grip.

“Danny, I don’t want to come all over your chest, though that’s nice too. I want to be inside of you when it happens. I want to feel as your insides shift and move with me, I want to feel the second I touch your prostate and send you soaring. That’s not going to happen with your hand around my cock.”

Daniel chuckled, the sound a breathy moan more than anything. He watched Jack as the older man watched while Daniel’s hand loosened and released before his fingers sank to his own erection then moved down farther and Jack moaned at the sight of Daniel’s fingers disappearing between his toned thighs and Jack didn’t stop the desire he had to dip his fingers into the tub and reach down as well. His slid his finger gently inside next to two of Daniel’s fingers, all the way to the second knuckle and Daniel arched into the touch. Jack moved enough to take Daniel’s lips in another open kiss. He swallowed the delightfully loud and dirty sounds that Daniel was making as he listened to the wet sounds their fingers were making as Daniel’s anal passage was stretched. There was a moment where Daniel’s movements became more harried and he grunted into Jack’s mouth, pulling away to growl, “That’s enough Jack!”

He chuckled as they removed their fingers from between Daniel’s legs and his beautiful lover grunted at the loss. Then Daniel was flipping over onto his side, holding his hand out to bring Jack closer, to come inside him. One of his arms tucked under his head while the other hand pulled his cheeks apart, giving Jack an easy view of his hole while it pulsed and moved. Jack groaned and pushed his face back into the back of Daniel’s neck as he scooted the two inches that separated them and slid inside his Danny. He squeezed his eyes closed, forcing every aspect of his attention to the feel of the velvet heat that sucked him in, which always held him so tight. He bottomed out quickly, Daniel and he had been dancing this particular dance together for long enough that Daniel’s body knew how to shape to Jack’s intrusion. He waited, pressing another kiss to the back of Daniel’s neck.

“I love you Danny,” he whispered into the sweaty skin there. “No matter the time between this, it never ceases to amaze me how well you hold me in your body, god I love you.”

Daniel twisted his head to the side, “Jack,” he whispered and pressed a desperate kiss to his mouth. Jack pressed in close, his hips thrusting gently into Daniel’s body. He pressed a hand into Daniel’s hip and kept the rhythm at a slow rolling thrust, just enough to climb towards the climax they were both looking for, but nothing so quick that it would leave Daniel sore and unable to move for the rest of the day. They were getting older and he didn’t want Daniel to hurt for anything, not even his pleasure. Daniel reached back and squeezed his hand into Jack’s where it was holding his hip. Daniel moaned and leaned into Jack’s shoulder, his other hand moving down to grip at his own erection in time with Jack’s thrusts.

He hooked his head over Daniel’s shoulder to watch his lover as they moved together. He listened as Daniel murmured words of encouragement, he listened to the sound of the Latin falling off of Daniel’s lips, then it switched to Arabic and then another language before another. There were more words, all of them loving and nudging Jack a little bit more each time he changed languages. Daniel’s voice hitched and then he shifted again to find Jack’s mouth in a harsh and open-mouthed kiss that devolved into them just breathing into one another as Jack repositioned his hand around Daniel’s where it was gripping his cock and he started to pull it faster, a little harder as he thrusts started to ramp up. They were going to have to get a move on, the kids were going to get antsy and Malachi didn’t like to go to long without one of his fathers.

He didn’t want to give this up, this moment in time before release where Daniel’s back was bowed and tight. There was nothing like the sounds he was making, something between a moan and a whimper just as Jack shifted forward and pushed Daniel’s body down a little, not enough that he didn’t have any power or give in the situation, even after all these years since the attack Daniel still didn’t like being caged so Jack leaned down on one side of his lover’s body and pounded a little deeper, a little harder even as his other hand shifted back to Daniel’s hip.

Daniel finally shifted back into English, getting close enough that he was begging for that one final stroke so they could tumble together, “Please Jack.”

Jack leaned down and slipped his teeth along the edge of Daniel’s shoulder as he stroked in, finding Daniel’s prostate one, two and three times, causing the younger man to grunt and groan out his release, his hands tightening in the bed sheets then moving back get Jack’s stalled hips to start moving again. He was still hard and he wasn’t going to need much, there was the delicious sucking pull and then Daniel’s hand was dragging him back into a quick rhythm before the younger man leaned down between them and pressed his finger to Jack’s hole and he stuttered and moaned out his release, filling Daniel’s body with his orgasm and he waited, breathing heavily into the dip in Daniel’s spine as they both cooled down from the sex.

Jack chuckled a little, lapping at the sweaty skin in front of him while Daniel settled against the bed, silent and still. Jack pulled out of his body gently and leaned back away from Daniel, pressing a soothing hand to his lover’s back, “Danny? Talk to me?”

Daniel was breathing evenly but it seemed almost forced so Jack shifted him, turned him over so he was facing Jack and he groaned when he saw the shock in Daniel’s eyes. He moved his hand around to the side of Daniel’s face and started running his fingers through the hair there just behind his ear. He leaned in close pressed a kiss to the side of Daniel’s head, “Did I block you in?” he whispered gently.

Daniel shook his head, not that he was arguing just shaking off the trigger he was feeling at the moment. Jack had been through this more than once since the debacle with his brother, there were times when just the wrong thing caught Daniel off guard and there was nothing he could do except talk his husband down from the fear from the past. Daniel was pretty good at talking himself through the process but it had been a long time since he’d even been triggered so undoubtedly he was ill prepared for it.

“I hate when that happens,” Daniel muttered, closing his eyes and curling into Jack’s body heat again. Jack nodded against the side of his head, listening as Daniel’s body stopped shaking a little at a time; there was a distinct hitch that slid away when Daniel released the tension and fear. Jack knew how to hold still, pressing a gentle hand through his hair, threading through the soft strands that Jack loved to touch while he waited. He knew the second when Daniel’s body floated closer to the present and away from the past and the fear of what happened to him.

Then he pressed another kiss to the side of Daniel’s face and whispered into his skin, “I know you hate it baby, I know. You’re here with me now? Safe and loved with me, the love of your life.”

Daniel smiled into the side of Jack’s neck, “I know Jack,” he whispered gently, “It wasn’t anything we haven’t done a hundred times. I hate when it comes up out of nowhere especially when we are post-coital, it was right then when I slipped close to the bed and you were pressed in close and it was suffocating for a second and all I felt was being shoved into the wall, of him on my back.”

“I know love,” Jack whispered again.

The scientist sighed again then they both dragged themselves off the bed and headed for a quick shower before they redressed and dried their hair with a quick towel over the head. Jack watched as Daniel used a comb to brush through his long hair and smiled, glad that the triggers didn’t make Daniel want to cut his hair anymore, there had been a point where Jack had made that argument at least once a week after Daniel was assaulted, much later—after his hair had started growing out again. Now Daniel mostly left all that stuff in the past and they were left with the ghosts of what happened, especially when they weren’t face to face, they’d been feeling the emotional pull lately, it didn’t surprise him that taking him from behind might have been not a good idea.

“I’m sorry Danny, I didn’t think about how stressed we’ve all been. I should have let you inside of me instead or at least should have been face to face,” Jack murmured gently and Daniel stopped fussing with his hair for a moment to glare at him in the mirror.

“Don’t do that Jack, you know as well as I do that the triggers don’t always happen otherwise we would never have sex. I wanted to be close to you, sometimes this happens but it’s not your fault.”

Jack nodded, his heart thudding a little faster at the no-nonsense ‘knock-it-off’ tone that Daniel had, it made him love the man even more. Daniel was a fighter, he was unwilling to back down from the fear even though he had every right to feel freaked every once in a while because someone, Jack’s brother, had taken that innocence from him forcefully. Jack moved forward and pressed in close, keeping eye contact in the mirror as he pressed a kiss to the side of Daniel’s neck, right under his jawline. He felt when Daniel’s face stretched into a smile and the other man reached back and ruffled Jack’s hair, making it all stick up again. Jack smiled into his husband’s skin and kissed again, as Daniel pressed in close to him.

“I love you Jack, thank you for always loving me better than I could have ever asked for,” Daniel whispered the words and pressed in against the side of Jack’s head.

“I love you because you are one of the best men I know and that has never changed, so I am going to keep loving you the way you deserve to be loved. Completely and honestly, by me.”

Daniel smiled and hugged Jack again before they finished in the bathroom and walked back towards the door to their bedroom. Jack pulled him back for another kiss, letting Daniel sink into it for a moment, Daniel’s hand coming up to slip behind Jack’s neck and pulled him in. Jack opened his mouth under the pressure and they breathed each other in, the scent of clean Daniel sinking into his nose as the kiss continued. It continued for a few more minutes before Daniel pulled away and opened the door. He immediately heard the giggles and laughter of his children, took in a deep breath and smiled at the thought that they were going to be okay here for as long as they needed to be.

Daniel paused when he noticed that Jack wasn’t right next to him, “Come on Papa, and let’s go play with our babies.”

“Yes sir, Daddy sir,” Jack said with a smart salute, a gesture he barely ever used anymore. One that he didn’t miss using, he didn’t salute Akina, only ever saluting Daniel every once in a while as a joke but it was one that had a lot of heat behind it. Daniel didn’t boss around Jack, they were a team and he loved that about them so the snappy salute was nothing more than a tool to make Daniel smile, which it did. Daniel had a tendency to lose his smile far too easily and Jack loved when he had the chance to bring it back whenever he did. It was especially difficult when Daniel got triggered, the scientist took it personally that he couldn’t ignore the triggers and couldn’t put them in the past where they belonged. Jack never blamed him, but Daniel had always taken himself too seriously.

Daniel shook his head and smiled, grabbing Jack’s hand and dragging him back down the stairs and into the living room, the nooner slipping easily away as they picked up being dads instead of spouses, after years it was effortless though Jack didn’t miss the little secret smile on Zada and Zale’s faces. Their older kids were too smart by half and nothing got by them these days, Jack just nodded to them a little and ignored the knowing looks after that.


	4. Hunters United

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zale goes for a run.

Zale watched as his fathers settled down to play with Janet, Claire and Johnny on the floor. Zada was still sitting on one of the comfy chairs with Malachi in her arms; the youngest of them was sleeping comfortably in her arms. Zale listened to the voice in the back of his mind, never giving him a break from the constant stream of negative intel coming from Xylander. He was irreverent in his words, only caring about when Zale was going to break and give in. At least the Magis was no longer showing him pictures of him killing his fathers, which was a nice change. For now though he was feeling the need for air, the walls of the cabin were closing in and he needed the trees and the run.

He stood up and Daniel’s eyes moved quickly to him and Zale smiled. He didn’t want his dad to worry more than he was already, it was hard not to know how stressed his father was about this, he knew from the years of watching his fathers when his dad was triggered. He also knew because when his father was triggered, the mental bond he shared with Dad was something that reflected that jump in fear and trauma in the back of his mind, as it sunk down his spine. It was something he’d never told his father that he knew, it was just something else that Xylander used to hurt him, to poke fun at the relationship he shared with Daddy Daniel and Papa.

_‘You can’t trust them with what you know. You know that your father is emotionally broken, you carry it inside of you and there is nothing you can do for him. Worthless and you cannot help your beloved Daddy Daniel.’_

Zale shook his head, ignoring the broken record that Xylander was playing and walked over to Dad and forced another smile, “Can I go running? Just feeling a little tight. Please?”

“Of course Z, keep in contact with Zada and be safe please?” Dad said and Zale leaned down and pressed in close for a quick hug. Then he moved and hugged Pop before he grabbed his dagger and sword then headed for the door. He was surprised that Dad let him go so easily but then Chrome had easily dispatched the ConjoCrea that attacked them earlier.

Zale just shrugged and walked down the steps and started running, he wasn’t going to go far, it was just the speed and the wind and the run is the only thing that shut Xylander up sometimes. He strapped his over the shoulder harness where his sword was pressed close to his back and the other dagger was at his waist. He made sure they were secure then took off quickly; there was nothing to stop him from running full tilt into the woods and away from the house. He leapt over the roots and controlled his breathing, he had been running as a part of his exercise regimen was to run and he knew how to maintain a breath cycle that allowed him to run and run and run without breaking apart from the inside out.

So he kept running, punching it up until he felt the burn in his chest and had to slow once more, running in and out of the trees and through a nearby field before turning back towards the cabin again and again, in a triangular pattern and there was nothing but blessed silence in his head, the thudding of his heart and the controlled pace of his breathing.

Until there was a snap and a thump, he stumbled to the stop and looked around. He looked up into the trees and the sky, ConjoCrea tended to be flyers now, it allowed them to move more quickly from place to place, they were used mostly for transport of prisoners. He stopped, took a deep breath to ease the burn in his chest from the run and sudden jarring stop. Then he heard the gait of something closing in on him and he turned to see a creature running towards him, but it wasn’t really the beast that he had a problem with; it was the three hunters running close behind the beast. This ConjoCrea was more like a bear but with a thinner body and wings. The wings were on the strangely jointed front legs; it had speed on the ground and could still fly. The Hunters could take him away, he was alone and there was no way he could fight them all at the same time. He turned back towards the cabin, while he was shouting in his mind for help, relieved when Zada immediately responded and she was on her way with their parents. Zale kept running but the creature was pretty fast, swooping overhead and landing in front of him. Zale skidded to a halt and pulled his sword, the sound of metal released from scabbard and he swiped the blade in an downward arc towards the creature’s face and it shrank away from the attack but he knew that the hunters were coming and he couldn’t have them at his back. He looked around quickly, sheathed his sword quickly and took off once more towards the nearest trees and swung himself into a low hanging branch and turned just as the creature screeched and moved to follow though it didn’t turn quick enough to swipe at him. Zale used the few seconds to look around and get his bearings, they weren’t far from the cabin and though he needed the help that his sister would provide, he didn’t need the hunters to be anywhere near his little siblings, god forbid they found Malachi or Johnny.

He felt as the creature leapt up at him but Zale pulled his dagger quickly, stabbing downward and into the side of the creature’s head and listened as the squelching sound shifted into the screeching of pain and fury. It fell back to the ground while Zale refocused his attention on not falling off of the branch, the shimmer of wet red blood flowing down the side of its head and the hunters were closing in as well.

“Zale!” Zada screamed as she came close. Zale groaned when he saw that Dad and Pop were right behind and he was concerned that all the people capable of taking care of the little ones were out here right now. He had to get Dad and Pop back to them, so he swung down from the tree into the side of the creature and pulled the sword as the first hunter got close enough. The clang of steel rang in the silence, Zada was close behind with her sword and Dad and pop were there as well.

Zale focused on the fight before him, reaching out in his mind for anything that might help them while the hunter forced him back a second and hoped he was strong enough to fight a full grown man. He was only thirteen and though he was closer to a young adult’s size but he still had his limits even with his magic. He hoped at the moment that he would be able to use his magic without Xylander messing with him about it. He used his dagger and sword to keep the hunter’s staff away from him, he knew from prior fights that the sticks were capable of sending a horrible electrical current through the recipient and it would immobilize him very quickly. He could hear fighting going on all around him and there was no way they were going to keep up with the beast and the hunters for very long when he heard the simple thought race through his mind, _‘Help you. Kill Creature.’_

Zale frowned as he looked around and saw several of the large cats, the offspring of Taj once more; they really had been around to protect them in case anything happened. Two of them were white, one was more tan than white and the third was black with dark eyes. He recognized Chrome as the tan one, not realizing how the tiger hadn’t been whiter. He didn’t recognize the dark one but the white one looked familiar. They were all taller than he was at the withers, taking down the creature quickly with a locked jaw around its throat and there was a horrifying crunch as it fell still and the hunters stumbled backwards in fear.

“You going to keep fighting, against them too?” Pop shouted as the man in front of Zale moved away from him and the big cats. Chrome growled as he walked towards the hunter and passed by Zale, rubbing into his side in a clearly supportive way. There was no mistaking the fact that the cats were going to kill the hunters and not the Zale or his family.

The hunter cursed and took off, the other two hunters following close behind and the cats sat down on their haunches before they turned to Zale. He turned to his sister and parents, rushing over to them and pulling them into a tight embrace. There was no blood or bruising on any of them, the cats had come to their rescue before anything could happen. He turned back to Chrome and the other two cats who were waiting, “Thank you for the quick save.”

_‘Zale a friend. We protect friend of father.’_

He was pretty sure Chrome was the one speaking in his head but there was nothing stopping him from staring at the clean white tiger, well it was clean but now there were several streaks of blood from the creature kill and the big predator was lapping at her fur to clean it off. “Who are you?” Zale asked.

_‘Snow, I was once a protector of yours.’_

Zale smiled then, thinking of Snow, the kitten that had played with him as a child for years before she left with her litter and went into the woods. He smiled as he thought about all the times he spent with her when she was smaller than him, which was a long time ago. “Of course I remember, and your friend?” he asked and gestured to the black one.

_‘This is Bax; he is leader of another clan. We are friends.’_

Zale waved a little to the other cat and wondered when Taj and his second generation had the opportunity to find other clans of these super cats but he was glad if for no other reason than the fact that they wouldn’t die out without others to breed with. Bax didn’t say anything in his mind; the beautiful predator lifted his lips in a growl at the dead creature on the ground before he took off. Chrome and Snow remained, didn’t even watch as Bax sauntered away. He took his time before he jumped into one of the larger nearby trees and then he was just gone. Zale turned back to Zada and pressed close, his forehead met hers gently and he looked over to Dad and Pop who were hugging each other then bringing them close for another hug. Zale shuddered into their grasp and held his family close, folding his head under Pop’s chin for another minute before they turned and started to walk back towards the cabin. Zale felt the nudge along his shoulder and turned to see Snow and Chrome were following behind.

“Are you going with Bax?” he asked them, turning back enough to press a hand into the soft ruff under the side of Snow’s overly large face. Her mouth was as large as his face but he didn’t feel any fear, unlike when he saw the hunters or the ConjoCrea or his biological mother or the sight of the fire from afar. He knew what fear was, he knew what it was like to live in a place where he didn’t trust the safety offered to him but this moment, touching Snow, there was no reason to fear.

Pop reached out and pressed a hand to the other side of Snow’s face and spoke, “We hope you stick close by, maybe keep an eye and an ear out for the kids while we’re here?” he asked gently.

Snow leaned forward and rubbed her head into the side of Zale’s face and he grinned into the contact with his long ago friend. Then they all turned back towards the house again and walked up to the door, finding the sound behind the door heartbreaking. Pop shoved the door open, they could all hearing Malachi’s crying and Zale frowned when he realized that Johnny was screaming too. Zale kept his arm around Zada as Jack walked over and lifted Malachi from the floor where he was screaming unhappily, his little brother’s face was red and wet from the tears. Johnny was in the other room; Dad walked through to him where he was sitting on the floor, knees pressed close to his chest and rocking in place. Johnny’s hands were pressed into the side of his face, his fingers digging into his temples and all around his ears. Janet and Claire were sitting in the living room, looking between their younger brothers and their faces were wet from tears. Zale and Zada walked over and each picked up a sister while Dad lifted Johnny from his spot on the floor and Pop had Malachi in his arms.

Zale easily held Janet in his lap, hugging her gently as he watched Pop rock Malachi in his arms. Pop whispered to their little brother and calmed him down a minute at a time while Dad was on the other side of the room with Johnny wrapped around him, with his face shoved into Dad’s neck and holding tightly. Zale would check in with him a little while later and see why Johnny responding so badly to them leaving, a lot of times it was because Johnny saw something or if it was just feeling like they’d been left alone to fight with Zale.

“Dad, is he okay?” Zale asked after the screaming downgraded to whimpers.

Dad nodded then stood with Johnny in his arms, heading to the stairs and the bedroom while Pop settled down on the couch with Malachi pressed into his chest. The little boy was clinging to his father, little fists clenched into Pop’s shirt. Zale turned and pressed a kiss to the side of Janet’s head and felt when his little sister curled into him.

Then there was a scratching at the door and Zale turned to look at Zada in surprise. He tucked Janet next to Claire on Zada’s lap, watching as his sister shifted and placed both of the girls between her legs so he could stand and walked over to the door. He opened it to find Chrome and Snow sitting just beyond the porch, as if they were just waiting to be invited inside.

_‘Cubs safe? They are sad?’_

Zale frowned, guessing that Snow was speaking about Johnny and Malachi, the ‘cubs’ that were crying. “They are scared and sad, are you going to stay here? I think you are going to call attention to yourself if you sit in the yard in front of the cabin.”

He didn’t really know what they would or wouldn’t understand but Taj had always been very smart so he wasn’t going to treat either animal as if they were stupid. And he wasn’t disappointed when Snow spoke again, _‘We will be close by, out of sight.’_

Zale nodded and closed the door again, he listened as they moved around to the side of the house and he could see as one of the nearby trees shook and shimmied, undoubtedly with the new weight of the man sized predator then there was a fumbling sound on the roof of the cabin and Zale had to chuckle before he turned back to Pop and shook his head, “It’s just our new protectors settling in for the evening. I don’t think they are going very far while we are here.”

Pop smiled and snorted, “I would not put it past Akina to send them here to protect us, getting around the ‘magic’ argument with Daniel.”

Zale smiled and was left with the fact that they were not out here alone, the hunters and the monsters were here and this was no longer a real vacation, just another place for them to be hurt or kidnapped. Maybe it was time to return to the Valley and the protection from these particular dangers. Dealing with magic was the suddenly better option than being out here where the younger kids could be left alone without their parents. Zale didn’t want that and he was going to get them all home instead of being out here and in danger.


	5. Take a Deep Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fathers comfort their children and Zale makes his decision.

Daniel walked upstairs, feeling all the terror and tension inside Johnny when he picked the little boy off of the floor seep into him through the skin-to-skin contact. He didn’t know what was happening, what Johnny thought was happening but he’d seen one to many things in his head when one or both of his parents left the room for the child to be completely okay with being left behind. It wasn’t what Daniel had wanted but he couldn’t let Jack and Zada go out there alone. The cabin was marginally more protected than the forest and Zale told Zada how many of the hunters there were and he didn’t want to lose his eldest children or his husband because he didn’t know how to run out and leave the other four children alone for a short time. It was a hard choice that he thought he had to make but now Johnny was responding badly because of it.

He closed the bedroom door behind the two of them, closing out the sounds of Malachi’s crying and Jack soothing him. Daniel moved over to the bed that he hadn’t left all that long ago and sat down with Johnny in his lap, his head curled into Daniel’s neck as the screeching cries slowed and quieted a little at a time. Daniel crooned into his head, told him the comforting words he had been whispering to his son since the visions first started.

“Hey love, what happened? Papa and I were just going to get Zale back home safely. Did you see something scary? You haven’t done that in a while.”

Johnny shook his head though he didn’t know if that was an answer to something or not. The boy’s soft hair rubbing into the side of Daniel’s neck and under his chin. He smiled and pressed another kiss to him. He waited to see if Johnny would say anything, whether with his hands or in Daniel’s mind.

 _“Zale is going to go away, we are going to lose him in the magic. I saw Xylander rip him away from us and we won’t be able to stop it,”_ the little boy whispered into Daniel’s mind and he took a deep breath, trying not to let the panic override how he could be helpful to the kid in his arms right now. He patted Johnny on the back, rubbing gently up and down. He couldn’t tell Johnny that they were going to keep that from happening because they had no idea how it could happen. So he just waited and held his son, pressing gentle kisses to the side of his head. Soon Johnny settled so Daniel laid down and gently pressed Johnny down into the bed next to him, turning on his side enough to press a hand to the side of his son’s head and run his fingers through Johnny’s hair gently.

“You know that Papa and I are going to do everything we can to keep Z safe right?” he whispered gently, so his voice wouldn’t startle the resting child. Johnny’s eyes fluttered up and he locked his amber gaze onto Daniel’s and held, nodding a little.

“You know there isn’t a second in time that we are going to stop fighting for all of you, right?” he asked.

Johnny nodded.

“We are going to get through it, no matter what comes.”

Johnny reached out and pressed a hand to the side of Daniel’s cheek and the father couldn’t stop himself from shifting to press a kiss to the boy’s palm. He listened to his emotions, listened to the possibility to communication with his son and felt when something shifted inside him. It was always so hard to describe, the way Johnny chose to communicate with them but this time it was pictures and a feeling. There was only one feeling, and it was something that Daniel didn’t even know he knew was a feeling until that one moment as each moment of their lives shifted through Daniel’s mind. There were all the times when Jack and Daniel had to fight for their children and always did, from the fight with the Magis inside Zale and Zada to the day when Johnny had been stabbed because of various reasons, even with Desire and Lust in the women’s bid to steal the children back from the fathers. Daniel realized just as the pictures starting shifting faster and faster, moments that hadn’t come to pass and one overarching terrible moment that he didn’t even have time to comprehend when it all disappeared from his mind, leaving him winded and confused and he knew what the feeling was that Johnny was trying to show him.

Faith.

No matter what they had all gone through, Johnny had faith in them and Daniel choked up at the thought that it wasn’t because nothing had ever happened to him but because they had always found their way through. He hugged his son closer, pressing another kiss into the side of Johnny’s head and blocked out all the concerns and what if’s and just held his son in that moment.

They were silent for a few minutes, quiet enough to realize that Malachi wasn’t crying anymore and there was a slight murmur of voices and Daniel sighed, thinking that they should go back down but he didn’t want to just yet.

“You have been seeing far into the future visions?” Daniel finally asked his son.

Johnny nodded.

“How long?” Daniel asked, wondering if Johnny would even be able to tell him.

_“It’s been happening for a little while now. I see our futures, you and Papa and the others. I see things for Greer and a few others but not much else. It doesn’t happen and I know things are changing but I have lived with the future for most of my life. I just keep living.”_

Daniel sighed, “I know buddy, you just keep living and you are so strong and I love how brave and amazing you are. Did you just see the thing about Zale and Xylander, is that why us leaving was so tough?”

Johnny shook his head, _“No, I could feel how scared the girls were and Malachi and then it was like every awful vision in my head happened all at once, I didn’t want them to touch me and make me cry. I hate crying sometimes, I hate being weak against the visions and I didn’t want that to happen but sometimes there is nothing standing between me and the darkness.”_

Daniel tightened his arms around his son again, “You are so like your father sometimes, and he doesn’t want anyone to see him as weak. I know this is going to be hard for you to understand or believe but you are not weak because you were crying. I know you are sick of hurting, of seeing things that you feel you have no control over and they are about painful and awful things happening to your family and friends but you are so much stronger than you should have to be. I wish beyond anything else in this world that I could give you back your right to innocence and the a quiet place in your own head. I wish Papa and I could do that for you.”

 _“But you can’t.”_ Johnny’s words cut through every thought and feeling, slaying Daniel with the truth of them. He hated that too, that Jack and Daniel’s choice to try one more time, with magical mommas had brought so much pain and stress into the world of their children. Maybe if they had never had children it would have been better but then Daniel thinks about life without them, even Malachi who was the epitome of an unplanned pregnancy, and he didn’t want to imagine a world where these children in their exact structure didn’t exist. They were everything to him and Jack.

Johnny grunted and spoke again, _“I’m not angry that you can’t stop this, it is my path to walk and I am choosing to walk it, because I could also give up my powers but I don’t want to give up everything that comes with it. I understand the choice I have and I love our family and I am okay with me, today is just a bad day. That’s okay though right?”_

“God I love you so much kiddo, you are allowed to have all the rough days you need to have and I am going to love you even more because this isn’t an easy burden you carry and I hope you know you don’t need to carry it alone.”

Johnny nodded and curled into Daniel’s side and he smiled into the contact, not expecting anything else from him when he whispered again into Daniel’s mind.

_“What would happen if we lost Papa?”_

Daniel jerked away for a second and made Johnny look up at him, the little boys eyes were serious and dry, like he was asking a hypothetical question, instead of someone who saw their father die and he needed comfort and support. Daniel frowned, “Johnny did you see Papa die?”

Johnny shrugged.

“JJ that wasn’t a ‘no’.”

Johnny took in a deep breath and heaved a sigh, _“I have not seen something that we can prevent or fight. I get a feeling, a time in my life when we might have to go on without him and I don’t know what to do with that feeling. I can’t save him, we all are going to die someday and not even magic can stop that from being true. So what would we do if we lost Papa?”_

Daniel thought about it for a minute, hating the idea of moving on without Jack, of raising the kids without him, going to bed without him, the idea of not having Jack in every memory and every moment felt like a big piece of his heart would be gone and his chest would have this never healing wound and he would have to keep living and that was terrifying. Daniel knew part of it was the fact that over ten years when Love dosed them both, the bond became an integral part of both of them but the other part of it was that no matter what capacity Jack was in Daniel’s life, he didn’t like the idea of his best friend not being there. Johnny was looking for an answer though, and Daniel only knew one, “I don’t know JJ, we would learn how to live without him even though it would kill each of us a little bit every day until the grief was just a part of us.”

 _“Like when your parents died?”_ Johnny asked gently, the little voice in Daniel’s mind as normal as the voices of his other children out loud.

“Yeah baby, I miss my father and mother so much sometimes, when I married your Papa, part of me wished that they could be there for that but for me, I was used to missing them by then, and I had learned to be on my own. It was when I met your father, and Aunt Sam and Uncle Teal’c that I first started learning what it would be like to miss someone, someone that was a part of my heart. I don’t know how to live without Papa but for you and your siblings, I would learn. We would learn together, but I hope that’s not going to be for a long time, okay?”

Johnny nodded and Daniel looked his son in the eyes and he didn’t see any leftover fear or tension, he only saw that same faith that Daniel and Jack would be around for them as long as they could be. They were going to do everything in their power to stay together and that was all Johnny needed apparently. Daniel gave them a few more minutes before he patted Johnny’s back and the little boy got up and clambered off the bed, leaving the father to stumble behind him to follow as they walked back downstairs and found Jack on the couch with Malachi in his arms, they were reading together. Daniel smiled at the sight and he looked around and saw the whole family was there, undoubtedly waiting for Daniel’s reappearance with the other distraught member of the family. Johnny walked over to Zale and hugged his brother, then hugged Zada before moving over to hug his Papa as well. Daniel walked over and sat down next to Jack and reached out as Malachi reached for him, “My precious little spark,” he whispered into the side of his son’s head and smiled when Malachi giggled at the attention. He looked over to see Jack gesture to Johnny who was still sitting with him, latched onto Jack’s neck in a desperate embrace. Daniel shrugged, they would have to talk about it later, it wasn’t something any of them needed to talk about at the moment.

After a few minutes, Zale cleared his throat and waited for everyone to look at him.

“Z-Man?” Jack asked, light curiosity despite the tension in his shoulders. Daniel was sitting close enough to feel it all through out his husband’s body.

“I think this mini get away might be over,” Zale stated.

“Why would you say that?” Daniel asked.

“Because I need Erica to help me, I need her to tell him how to block Xylander. I need to block his voice from my mind. I can’t do it by myself and I need to do it before Lady Zarkina can tell me all the reasons I shouldn’t.”

Daniel took a deep breath and wondered why he suddenly felt like gravity was suddenly more heavy than it should have been. He shook it off for a second before he turned to Jack and waited, this was probably one of the most difficult decisions their son had ever had to make in his young life and it was going to change a lot of things that shouldn’t change but it was going to anyway.

“You want to go back to the Valley?” Jack asked after a minute of heavy silence.

Zale shook his head, “I don’t want to know what is going to happen when I am no longer in touch with my Magis, I want to pretend that things aren’t going to change for a little while longer. I also need to learn what I am going to be capable of, without Xylander.”

“Then we will invite her here, get the scoop on what you need to do and stay here for a little longer. I think we are all going to need the time away even if it means we stay closer to the cabin for safety,” Jack finally said and Daniel nodded.

“Zale, if this is what you need, everyone else can just keep whatever they think to themselves and if they don’t you can always walk away. You surviving this thing is more important than your powers, in fact that was one of the reasons we came here to begin with, to remind all of us that you are more than your powers. You are our beautiful children and your powers don’t make you special, they don’t make you strong, they are just a part of you. What makes you special and strong is your morals and integrity and that you are willing to fight against what people think if only to be the best people you can be. You are all amazing, Zale this is for you especially right now, your Magis is not you. You are Zale Charles, one of the brightest in your age group, smart and clever and willing to go to any lengths for your family and friends. If any of you need help figuring out what you are with or without your powers, please ask.”

Zada and the twins nodded, Malachi just wiggled in their laps while Johnny moved over to the couch and curled into Daniel’s side. He smiled and pressed a kiss to the side of his son’s head. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out his stone, the one he used to contact Greer and he put it down on Daniel’s leg.

_“Use it to get a hold of Miss Erica. She can come and help Zale.”_

Daniel smiled, “Thanks JJ, you are so amazing.”

Johnny nodded then they all fell silent, Daniel just soaked up being together for now.


	6. By Invitation Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone comes to help Zale and someone comes to hinder. What is Daniel and Jack willing to do to see Zale through this?

Jack watched from the door as Johnny was settled into his bed and Daniel kissed their son gently on the forehead before he walked over and pressed a kiss to Zale’s head as well. It was quite possible that they were going to have to stop being so sweet and physically loving with Zale pretty soon as he was getting old enough to start being more independent but for now their son just smiled, squeezed Daniel’s hand. They already kissed and hugged the girls and Malachi was back in the bedroom with Jack and Daniel, his crib already in the room with the slumbering toddler cuddled under his blanket. Jack reached out and took Daniel’s hand as he walked over, and they took the short distance to their bedroom and Jack watched as Daniel tugged the rock out of his pocket, after dinner they reached out to Greer and he was going to talk to Erica in confidence. They knew there was a chance that Akina was going to come too but they were prepared to stand their ground for their son’s sake.

Daniel was going to give the communication stone back to Johnny after Erica stopped by, that way they would have a way to talk to someone in the Valley in case anything drastic happened between now and whenever Erica was going to get there.

Jack leaned against the door and watched for a few minutes, as Daniel got ready for bed, pulling off his clothes and redressing in his pajamas. He looked at Jack, frowning as he whispered, “Are you going to get ready for bed?”

“We didn’t get a chance to talk about Johnny, is he okay?” Jack asked instead. He didn’t know what to expect anymore with their children, he just hoped that his son was going to be okay. He figured he only had one break-down per kid per day, Zale had pretty much taken all of Jack’s compassion not to mention all the fear he could stand in one sitting for the past week or so. Johnny freaking out now was just going to push Jack over the edge of sanity, or at least that’s what the father felt like.

“He’s okay, as okay as he can be when he’s sees the future sometimes and doesn’t know what to make of it or what to do about it or even if it’s a real premonition or just a bad dream. I think he’s seeing more into the distant future now and that has added an extra layer of stress and fear into his daily life. He asked me what we would do if we lost you,” Daniel whispered the last words and had to choke them out past the fear and devastation that the thought clearly caused him. Jack walked across the room and pulled his husband close, pressing a hand into the back of his neck in one of the longest standing gestures of comfort they shared between the two of them. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to the side of Daniel’s neck as his husband’s hands tightened into the fabric of his shirt, pulling it tight against his throat and away from the back of his neck. Jack just held Daniel for a minute, letting the touch console away the possibility of what he said coming true but it wasn’t something that either of them took lightly especially since they had experienced the possibility once or twice in the past.

“You would keep on keeping on for the sake of you and the kids, that’s what you would do but Danny, that’s not going to happen for a long time if I have anything to say about it. I am not done with you and this amazing life and those kids yet, nowhere near done.”

Daniel nodded, “I know Jack, I just heard him ask and my heart broke into a million little pieces at the mere thought of living in this world without you. I hate the idea that maybe he’s seen that or felt like something was going to happen to you, it makes me want to hide you away from the world, keep you safe and with me forever.”

“Danny,” Jack cajoled as he moved away from his husband who easily released him, “You couldn’t hide me very well anyway. You would just get kidnapped and I would have to come find you.”

Daniel snorted then he shook off the thoughts that seemed to be physically weighing him down, “I sometimes wonder if taking away Johnny’s powers would be better as well, but he wants to be able to connect with us, talk to us and everything so it’s a hard burden but one he keeps choosing to carry. I wish I could carry it instead, even if that means I am the one to make that hard decision for him but that would go against everything we’ve taught them much of their lives and also it’s a part of who they are and its their choice, right?”

Jack nodded, “You can’t make a O’Neill-Jackson do anything they don’t want to do anyway, that’s what happens when they are our children. This can’t be a surprise to you.”

Daniel shook his head, a little smirk on his face, “No surprise there, trust me. Is it too much that I just want them to be normal and happy and okay?”

Jack sighed, walking over to the dresser and pulled out clothes for him to sleep in and Daniel finished changing before climbing into bed on his side. Jack changed quickly as well then climbed in as well. Jack pressed a hand gently to Daniel’s chest, waiting to see if the triggered attack from earlier was still bothering his husband but Daniel just scooted closer and pressed his head into Jack’s shoulder and released a slow sigh. Jack shifted to press a kiss to the side of Daniel’s head and slipped his fingers through Daniel’s fine hair.

“Danny, you know I hate the magic stuff. You know I do but you’re right about one thing, it has to be their choice. Zale is making a choice, Johnny is making a choice and so did the girls when they took Desire’s powers to save Malachi. We taught them to make decisions and we will do what we have to and make sure they have everything they need to make that choice but if the time comes that we have to choose for him, then we will.”

Daniel nuzzled into Jack’s neck and whispered, “Promise?”

“I promise you love,” Jack whispered back and he looked over where the crib was, he could see Malachi though the bars obscured him but Jack could see the slow rise and fall of their son’s breathing. “You know Danny—”

“What?” his husband mumbled as he cuddled closer though Jack didn’t think that was possible. He pressed his other hand into the side of Daniel’s thigh where it was pressed over the edge of Jack’s leg. Daniel sighed at the physical contact and Jack smiled.

“Not that long ago we were planning for the worst, you were terrified of losing me and there was no Malachi to speak of. We lost so much and yet it wasn’t everything. We still have all of our children and you and I are both here. Zale is going to get through this and Johnny is the strongest and sweetest child. We are going to be okay, okay?”

Daniel shuddered a little and Jack tried to sit up, to check him but the younger man just pushed him down to settle him. Jack let it happen but waited until Daniel was ready to talk. He listened as Daniel sniffled and sighed, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep Colonel Jack.”

Jack groaned, “That’s General Jack to you, and maybe I can’t make those promises but I can keep fighting until I can’t fight anymore and that’s a promise I can make.”

Daniel chuckled, it was more air than sound but it was enough as Jack continued running his fingers through the scientist’s hair and he pressed another kiss to his head but Daniel wanted the last word, “That’s a promise I can take to the bank.”

Jack smiled and fell silent so they could get some sleep, glad that his promise was enough to give Daniel a little peace of mind.

 

The next time Jack opened his eyes, it was morning and Daniel was pressed into his side still though the rest of his body was twisted away from him since they tended to run too hot for them to sleep too close together but Jack leaned over and pressed another quick kiss to Daniel’s forehead before he sat up, extricating himself gently before he crossed the room and looked down into the crib to where Malachi was awake and playing with his toes. One hand was sticking in his mouth and the other was grabbing at his foot. When he focused on Jack he smiled toothily up at him.

“Hey buddy, you hungry? You need a change?” he whispered, trying not to wake Daniel, his husband was strung out from the day before and he needed to sleep.

Malachi babbled happily so Jack leaned in and lifted the big child from the crib, he was getting heavy and because of the constant attention and practice, the little boy was also catching up with his body. He was learning how to crawl really well, even getting closer to walking especially when someone was there to help. His babbling was inching closer to sounding like words but it was going to take all the time it would take, the poor kid had lost about a year in his body and the brain was taking time to catch up. Jack took the child over to the changing mat, made quick work of the soiled diaper and redressed him before he took Malachi out of the bedroom and downstairs. He knew that the other kids would start to stir at some point, so would Daniel and Jack was willing to bet after the last couple of days, Malachi would enjoy some father time all by himself.

Jack walked into the kitchen, staggering a little when he found Zale sitting at the table already with some food in front of him. “Z, you’re awake early.”

Zale nodded, not moving his chin from where it rested on his fist, which was propped on the table. He was haphazardly mixing the food on his plate into an unrecognizable mess and it didn’t look like he’d eaten very much. Jack walked over and settled Malachi into his high chair and latched him in so the little man didn’t decide to try and climb out. He may be behind mentally but that didn’t make him any less of an escape artist. Malachi made smacking sounds with his lips, looking at the plate in front of his brother, clearly indicating his hunger and the belief that since Zale wasn’t going to eat it, and then he could help get rid of the food for his older brother. Jack smiled as he pressed a hand to his younger son’s head before he shifted and pressed a hand to Zale’s shoulder, bringing his son’s very blue gaze up to meet his. “You okay son?” Jack asked gently.

This decision wasn’t one made easily; it would be causing a lot of upheaval to their son’s life and way of living, not to mention what he would be capable of on his own. It was also one that maybe Jack and Daniel should have made for him over five years ago but then they had been told to let him work through it and learn about his powers but Akina and several others, as well as their desire to let their son grow up as the person he was born to be. The problem was that Xylander wanted Zale to be him, not Zale and Jack didn’t want that. From what little understanding he had of the Awakened Magis thing, Xylander’s voice would sound like Zale, leaving the young boy confused and conflicted, stuck between his desires and morals and that of the creature who shared his head space. All the time that Zale would need to deal with making this choice would be honored, the same way it had been gladly given when he needed to sleep in their bed for days to keep him sane.

Zale smiled tightly, clearly not fine but wanting to comfort his father, Jack just smirked at him as he was more than used to the concept of the ‘I’m fine’ he got from any of the Jackson boys started by their Daddy Daniel. After that Zale really did smile, “I don’t know why I even try to hide the truth from you, who as seen through Dad’s clenched teeth and worried mind more than once. I am scared that my decision will find harm fall on you or Dad or the siblings, I fear that my choice is selfish.”

 _Ah yes, the martyr gene is strong with this one,_ Jack thought with a mental roll of his eyes. Daniel was also good at the martyr thing, to the point that he would constantly pick others before himself.

Jack grabbed some of the smaller cubed meat and cheeses, as well as some melon that Zale undoubtedly prepped for his youngest brother’s awakening. Jack put the plate down in front of Malachi, kissed the boys forehead as he giggled and made grabby hands at the food. Jack sat down in the space next to Zale’s seat and put himself close to Malachi’s chair as well. He pressed another kiss to his eldest son’s temple with an arm around his shoulder and just held him for a second.

“Zale, we are going to be just fine and you are going to be better. Give yourself the time you need to learn how to discern him from you. You deserve to have that choice; it’s the same choice your sisters and brothers are allowed to have in different ways. Don’t worry about the rest of the world so much my loving and courageous son; leave some of that up to your parents or the queen. It’s too much for your shoulders to bear and there isn’t any need for you to bear it alone.”

Zale leaned into the contact and sighed, Jack just hoped that they were going to get through this with very little martyr stuff. Or at least that Daniel and he would be able to keep letting their son know that he was worth going through this for, especially if he gets to live in his own head as a result.

Jack kept watching Malachi for a few minutes while the little boy ate and Zale continued to push around the food on his plate. The father just kept holding his son and feeding the other, wishing he could feed the older one just so he could _do_ something for Zale but Erica should be there soon and hopefully it would be enough.

“Dad doing okay?” Zale asked gently after a long silence.

Jack frowned and nudged Zale enough that he looked up at his father, “What do you mean?”

“He was triggered and there was something with JJ, right?” Zale asked.

Jack blushed slightly; felt as the blood rushed to his neck and up his cheeks, he didn’t know what to do about talking to his son about something like that. Daniel and Jack didn’t hide a lot from their kids but there was only so much they knew about Daniel’s triggers and trauma. They knew that Jack’s brother hurt Daniel and it caused some other problems that didn’t go away quickly. Zale had the closest connection with Daniel, so sometimes the kids knew more than he should have. Though comforting him didn’t require details and their son wasn’t asking for them.

“He’s doing okay, the trigger didn’t last like they used to and JJ is doing okay and so is Dad.”

Zale shrugged and smiled, “I didn’t mean to pry about something that would make you or Dad uncomfortable. I just felt something, it was fleeting but it was all consuming, does that make sense?”

Jack thought of all the times when his PTSD had triggered something in him and nodded, curious if that’s what Daniel was still feeling after all this time but then there were still times when the smallest thing could send him back in time and not in a good way. He nodded, “It makes sense Z-Man.”

“And JJ?” Zale asked again and Jack frowned, wondering why this was important to Zale.

“Do you know something?” he asked gently.

Zale shrugged and looked over at Malachi, and Jack frowned again. His son sighed heavily into his palm, the sound wafting across the edge of his hand and it sounded so tired that Jack leaned over and hugged him again before Zale started talking. “I don’t know anything specific, I know that Johnny has been seeing things more often, they seep into my head and Zada’s too sometimes when he’s getting overloaded. He’s seen some far off things and there is one thing that keeps coming around.”

Jack was afraid he knew exactly where this was going.

“Losing you,” Zale finally said and Jack heaved another sigh. It was nteresting that this seemed to keep coming up after he’d ‘retired’ from active duty even with Akina and didn’t even do training with the warriors anymore. There were always chances of him buying the farm in any number of ways but twice in two days from two of his sons and his husband, Jack was starting to get a complex about it. Zale started talking after another moment of silence, “I feel like if I give up my powers and somehow, sometime that does happening would it be my fault because I wasn’t there with the ability to save or protect you.”

Jack reared back, “Now just wait a goddamned minute!” he exclaimed and took a deep breath when Zale flinched at his tone. He leaned over and took his son’s hands in his and squeezed gently, bringing those Jackson blue eyes up to him, “Listen bud, I understand that you have been having a lot of people feeding you incorrect information for quite a bit longer than I can possible contend with all at once but if you think protecting me is your job then something has desperately gone wrong here. I will tell you the same thing I told your father, I am not going anywhere for a long time. I promise you I will do what I can to stay safe and healthy but none of us get out of this thing alive and you are going to do what you need to do to take care of you, not what you think you should be doing to take care of me. Is that clear enough for you kiddo?”

“And you won’t blame me? Love me less? If I do this?”

“Oh Z-Man, I am going to love you even more for doing something so brave and for yourself. I love you so much son.”

At that, Jack leaned in close to pull his son to him, slightly awkward as a side hug but it was worth it to feel Zale squeeze into him and breath a sigh of relief. In the silence, Jack heard someone shift at the edge of the kitchen and figured it was Daniel, he knew that shuffling sound from years of living in the same house together and working together before that.

Daniel spoke after a minute, his voice cracking with wavering emotion, “Same for me Z, I love you so much.” Then the other man was rushing forward and hugging them both from behind. Jack smiled as his head was smashed up next to Daniel’s and Zale’s head stayed under his chin for a moment. He felt the kiss Daniel pressed to the edge of his hairline before the moment broke by Malachi unceremoniously dumping his empty plate on the floor and started babbling towards his Daddy. Zale and his fathers separated with a laugh and Daniel pressed a kiss to the top of Zale’s head before Jack pulled him back for another kiss on the lips. The other dad then turned, scooped Malachi out of his chair and headed for the cabinet to get the youngest something to drink.

Jack stayed where he was, next to Zale and smiled when his eldest son actually started eating his food then winced when he realized it was cold. “I’ll make you some more, give me a few minutes.”

Zale smiled at his Papa and while he was cooking the other children started stumbling in with drowsy good mornings and messy hair. Daniel immediately started helping the twins with their messy braids while Jack finished up with the food and started serving to everyone. Jack watched his son, both of his sons and his husband as they talked and practiced one of their newer languages. It was so normal for them to be like this that he could almost forget what was going on.

That was until there was a knock on the door and everyone stopped, knowing why someone was there. The way the Jackson-O’Neill household ran was about to change in a big way and they didn’t even know what that was going to mean to any of them.

Jack heaved a sigh, walking through the living room towards the door and opened it with a grimace, which was about as close to a smile anyone was going to get. Then he saw who was standing on the other side and groaned, “Erica, seems you’ve brought a friend?” he asked, gritting his teeth in frustration as the queen walked into the house at Jack’s beckoning. Erica shrugged, giving a grimace of her own. Jack knew he couldn’t blame Akina, she would find out what was happening and he figured it would be sooner rather than later but he’d hoped she would have given them all the actual decision time, Zale had just decided and here she was to turn his back on it.

“Jack, what is the meaning of this?” Queen Zarkina demanded, all business and no decade of friendship heard anywhere in her tone. She walked into the living room and headed straight for the kitchen, Erica and Jack following close behind, the exasperated father holding the slight woman around the shoulders in easy affection born of years of working together. Jack heard when Daniel’s chair screeched across the floor at the Queen’s entrance and he started mumbling, “No no no no, Akina can we talk about this outside?” Daniel’s tone was almost a command, just on the edge of pissing off the royal bossiness with his words alone but the queen didn’t seem willing to hear anything from either of them. She walked straight over to Zale, Jack and Erica walking in just as she leaned down and pressed a hand around the back of his neck. Zale’s gaze was on his knees instead of the Queen’s gaze and he couldn’t hear what she was saying. His back clenched and bristled at the fact that she was going straight to a little broken boy, demanding that he make adult decisions for the good of her people and what he wanted or needed didn’t seem to matter.

“Akina, leave him alone and talk to us,” Jack commanded, pulling his General voice out from the back of the closet, it was a little rusty but it was enough to have Akina’s body tense and she turned to give him a look that could’ve killed him, if she’d wanted to anyway.

This was a world where looks really could kill after all.

Then she turned back and started whispering to Zale again and Jack moved but Daniel was already there with a sharp tug at Akina’s arm and he forcibly dragged her away from Zale who still wouldn’t look at any of them. Jack took the initiative and nodded to the rest of the children. Zada grabbed Malachi and the rest of them scurried out of the room all the while Zale was frozen in his seat and Akina was glaring at Daniel, literal sparks snapping around her head. “You’ve gone to far!” Akina hissed.

“Nina?” Erica whispered, the nickname clearly running off the friend’s tongue.

Jack didn’t think that was the right thing to do or say and Akina glared at her healer in response, he’d been there once before when she took it very poorly when someone used her given name or a nickname in the midst of an emotionally charged moment. Jack walked over and stood next to Daniel who was shifting himself to stand between Zale and the queen. Jack realized in that one moment that if Akina made decision to stand against them they were going to fail in stopping her. Jack took a deep breath and realized that for the sake of their son, it didn’t matter. They would fight.

“Don’t touch him again, talk to us,” Jack demanded. He didn’t want to fight with her but he would. He shifted so Daniel was in front of Zale and Jack in front of Daniel.

“You do not understand what this could do. This war has many facets and I need as many Awakened Magis as I can get my hands on. He has a duty, as a Vannas to serve as one of my soldiers and Xylander is a soldier as well. He needs to be awake and aware to bring the fight to ZarCorp.”

“He is not your destiny, not your disciple. He’s just our son, our thirteen-year-old son. He has a right to make this choice and you will not stop him. He should have been allowed to make it years ago without you muttering your destinies in his ear!”

“You are all my people, your children are citizens and they are Vannas. He has a destiny and you cannot deny it to him.”

“They have denied me nothing,” Zale shouted, bringing everyone else in the room to silence. Daniel and Jack were both poised to speak and Akina was pointing her finger at them, about to start another rant. They all looked down as Zale reached out and pressed his hands into the sides of his head, the heels digging into his eyes. Daniel immediately reached out to him, pressing his hand down on Zale’s shoulder and he immediately turned into Daniel’s caress.

“Z? What’s wrong?” Daniel whispered as the boy’s skin blanched under his tan, then he rushed out of his chair and over to the sink and the quick and gut wrenching sounds of him loosing what little breakfast he ate caused Jack’s stomach to clench in sympathy as Daniel walked across the room and started rubbing Zale’s back, up and down like they did on the rare occasions when any of the children were sick or when they were emotionally distressed and not handling it well.

Zale leaned in after the retching was finished, rinsed his mouth before turning to glare at Akina, Daniel held him around his waist and Jack stayed slightly in front of them both. Zale wouldn’t want to appear weaker than he already did but being a loving and strong presence between him and the queen was something Jack could do for his husband and eldest son.

“I don’t feel good at all, my head is pounding and Xylander is screaming. He is trying to stop this from happening, he didn’t think it was real until he realized that Erica was here,” Zale answered before he turned to Akina again. “I am not denying anything, I am not being denied my destiny by my fathers, they are asking me to make the decision if I can and I want to learn who I am without Xylander’s voice. The Magis has spent days, weeks actually, trying to convince me to kill my fathers and take on the mantle of fighter and killer. I won’t do it anymore. I hate it!” he shouted the last at Akina and the queen took a minute step backwards from the fear and rage emanating from their son.

Erica stepped forward then, pushing past the two parents and over to their son. Zale pressed himself into her hands gently and the healer shushed his anxiety as she pressed a hand to the back of his neck and the other across his forehead. She gasped at what she must have found there. Jack watched as Daniel shouldered his way into the tight space between the wall and where Zale and Erica were crouched. He tugged their son closer and pressed a damp washcloth into the skin of Zale’s lips and neck.

“What is it Eri?” Jack questioned gently. He kept his voice pitched low to cause little discomfort to Zale who was still trembling. Akina was pacing in short spurts outside of the bathroom, her hands quickly gripping her head and pressing her fingers through the tresses. She looked more than a little distressed and as long as she wasn’t grabbing his son again, Jack didn’t even care.

“Xylander is fighting, he is going to rip Zale’s mind apart. We will have to do this quickly before he is thoroughly harmed in the process.”

Zale nodded, “Do it!”

Jack found again that magic was a strange thing, Zale and Erica repositioned them to sit on the floor across from each other, Daniel settled behind Zale’s slim form and that was mostly it, there was no movement and no magical words thrown at the problem to seek solution. They used no wands here but he knew that Erica was finding her way into Zale’s mind and helping him through this transition. He only hoped that she would succeed where Zale had not.

And sadly all he could do is wait and make sure that Akina kept her hands off their son.


	7. Inside My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zale is going through it it, he's leaving behind a piece of himself for the sake of him.

“YOU CANNOT STOP ME! YOU CANNOT CAGE ME! Try it and find your brain dribbling from your ear. I would see us both fall rather than be caged by you.”

Zale was trapped in his mind, in a world built upon the power of his Magis. He knelt on the grassy ground, holding his hands over his head, leaving his semi-long hair to flop over his fingertips. He wanted to get out of his head and feel the arms that were holding him, he knew his dad was behind him, the warmth the man’s body emitted was residual but he wanted to feel the comfort and connection. He wondered all at once if when Xylander was caged, if he was going to be able to feel anything from his parents or his sisters and brothers. It was almost enough to make him rethink the plan but then Xylander screamed again and Zale felt like his brain was going to spill out of his ears.

Then he wasn’t alone, there was Xylander and his braided and dreadlocked hair was the same as the last time he’d seen him. His features were still angular and they were angry now. His marbled skin was red and orange instead of the normal tan and peach, everything about him said rage and a willingness to destroy Zale rather than survive in the box where Zale had every intention of putting him.

“You could have had everything, we could have the strength to do anything but you are not courageous enough to do the things we need to do to survive.”

Zale forced himself to stand, his legs shuddering and barely capable of holding him up, the mental energy it took to fight against Xylander was so intense it felt like breathing water in and expecting air instead. He stared at the other creature and took a deep breath into his nose; something useless as they were in his brain right now but it didn’t stop the desire to take the breath into his lungs.

“I don’t want what you want, this isn’t your life or your body, I will only live once and you have lived for decades, maybe even centuries longer than me. If what I have to do to be me is shut you up then I will!” Zale shouted the words, stood to his full height which was sadly about a foot shorter than Xylander. He reached out and pushed the Magis away from him and Xylander stumbled back in shock then Zale was rushing him, using everything he’d ever been taught by his fathers and Uncle Teal’c and Uncle Adrian about fighting, he fought dirty as he swung and watched as Xylander shifted out the way while he put himself off balance and he swept his feet out from under him then stomped down on Xylander’s chest.

“Zale!” someone screamed and then Xylander disappeared from underneath him, causing Zale to stumble before he looked around to find Erica’s avatar. She was as familiar to him as his fathers, even as she was now. She was very similar to her physical body, still slender with long hair but her skin glowed here from her powers and magic. She was wearing a simple white sheath and no shoes.

“Eri, you have to help me before he comes back.”

Erica nodded and walked towards him, pressing a hand on Zale’s shoulder, “This is not something that you have ever done, you have boxed him up before but this is different. I had to do it to Safirah for about ten years of our life together, maybe even longer but this is going to take away some of your powers and you are going to have to get used to you again. Xylander’s voice isn’t going to be there, are you ready for that?”

Zale thought about it, really thought about the loss of his longest confidant but then again he thought about all the things Xylander had done to him recently and he knew he was making the right choice. There was no other way, not if he wanted to survive this. If he wanted to see his fathers as the loving parents that they were, Xylander needed to be put away for a while.

“I’m sure.”

Erica pressed her hands into his cheeks and her bright blue eyes locked on his, “Then get ready because this is going to feel like I am ripping you apart.”

Zale nodded within the grip of her firm hands then he took another deep breath and waited for a second, he wondered if she was going to warn—then the pain started and he couldn’t stop the scream from rumbling up from his chest and out into the world. He had no idea if it was a physical scream or a mental one, there was no way for him to know and he hoped and wished that this was going to be worth it.

He’d been stabbed once and it was a hundred times worse than that, a rending of flesh from bones, one slice at a time. First it felt like the skin of his abdomen was being eviscerated and he struggled against Erica’s hold but she wouldn’t release him. Her words of comfort came in from all around him, not a physical sound but a mental one that was capable of being heard beyond the scream, “I know sweetie, its going to be another minute. You are going to be grateful for this, I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but he won’t be in your mind, clouding it anymore. Just bear down and stay with me. Your fathers are close and waiting for you to open your eyes again.”

He focused on the words as they looped into his mind, taking place of the sound of Xylander cursing him; of feeding him lies about his family. He felt when the tearing sensation snuck out to his legs and arms, all the way to his neck and head, like someone was ripping out all of his hair. The bottom of his feet arched as the pain ruptured all over him and he let out another shuddering scream, hearing as the sound died in his throat as the final sensation of his voice sank away from him and he wondered if this was going to be the price, that he would have his own mind again but he would be like Johnny, he would have no voice or something equally horrifying. He tried to shake his head, remembering at the last second that Erica was still holding his head and then she released him and he faltered and fell to his knees. Zale’s hands pressed to his chest, waiting for the wet and dark sensation of blood to register but it didn’t. He looked up, breathing heavily as Erica stood over him, looking behind Zale. He turned as well and found Xylander in a cage, it was glass and the Magis was screaming at him and Zale couldn’t hear him. Zale collapsed to the ground and scooted a foot away from the cage and took a couple of deep breaths before he realized what he just thought.

He. Couldn’t. Hear. Xylander.

“Oh my god, I can’t hear him!” he said and looked up at Erica, she was wiping at her face, like she’d been crying. Zale struggled to his feet and grabbed her by the hand and made her look to him, “Are you okay?”

She nodded and gave him a strained smile, “You see he is alive but I had to remove him from who you are, the separation process is not one that comes without pain or risk. You won’t know what you are capable of for a while, it is possible that staying here in the cabin is more dangerous for you now then it is for your brother or parents. You won’t know what kind of power you have without Xylander.”

Zale sighed, “I understand, I knew that was the cost. I understand the loss and I will speak to my fathers about coming home but they need this so much Eri.”

She smiled, “Your fathers are right about you, you cannot ever be like Xylander, or even like many of us are, we think about the best for the cause or ourselves and it doesn’t matter what it would do to us and those we love. You care so much for your parents and siblings that you put yourself through hell to be their protector. It is your turn to be protected,” she whispered as she pressed her hand into his cheek again.

Zale looked down and then turned back to the glass cage where Xylander was pounding the surface with his fists without doing any damage. Powerless. Like Zale would be without him but he wondered if there could be peace in that as well. He didn’t know but he knew his fathers and they were beautiful and loving, brave and accepting men that they are and he knew that they would help him through this.

“Can I touch it?” he asked.

“Yes,” Erica said, “I will teach you how to release him when it comes time but I can also do it. Just do not stall for too long, there are some people who want to know you are unharmed.”

Zale walked over, shaking off the echoes of pain still living in his muscles and flesh, it was as if he’d been burned just enough for the flaking of skin and the discomfort of stretching new skin, it was all new and would falter uncomfortably over the frame of his skeleton. He did not let it stop him from walking over to the glass box and pressed a hand to the glass. He had no idea if his words would be heard but he hoped the look on his face would say it too, “When I come to realize my heart, I hope to bring you back to my side and into my heart but just know that my family and my value of life and goodness will keep you in this box if you have no desire to compromise your belief that your way is the only way. I will not hate myself for you.”

With that Zale turned and let his hand slide down the side of the wall, leaving behind a streak of sound and sweat on the glass before he allowed himself to wake from his mental limbo and opened his eyes once more.

As he took in a deep breath, he realized that the pain was left behind in his mind and looked around, as he waited for the lack of power to sweep out and overtake him. He didn’t feel anything like pain, there was just a void where Xylander used to be and right now in this moment Zale only felt relief. He turned into his father’s arms and wrapped himself in a hug as the relief seeped from his eyes with wet abandon and someone moved in behind him and wrapped arms around him and his Dad. Zale shifted and Papa quickly soothed him with words whispered into the side of his head, “We’re here Z, you’re here with us okay?”

He nodded into their embrace and reached for their emotions, always comforted by them in the back of his mind. He pressed hands into the back of Dad’s neck and searched out the bond between them finding only a flickering light in the distance and no emotional connection. He sucked in a breath and tried to pull away, “Oh no, Dad, I can’t feel your feelings. I can’t feel you in the back of my head.” He paused and pulled away as Dad moaned sadly and released him. Zale turned and pressed his hand into Papa’s neck, a place his hand has found countless times throughout his lifetime and there was nothing. He looked into his father’s brown eyes and shook his head.

“Zale,” Papa whispered and moved to hold his hand against the rasp of his day’s facial shadow. “We have been so lucky to have you know every moment of every day how we feel and love you but just because you don’t have it now doesn’t mean that we have stopped loving you. We will just keep telling you and you are going to have to trust that the feelings we share with you are always true. Please Zale, trust in us that you are not alone, that you are just as loved as you stood only minutes ago.”

Zale nodded gently and pushed into a quick embrace. He pressed his nose into the place where Papa’s neck meets shoulder, a place he found great comfort as the tears leaking from his eyes continued and after some shifting Dad was next to him, his comforting hands rubbing along Zale’s back and neck, his words echoing into the room. “I love you so much Zale, I hope for a day again when the bond is back in place and more powerful because you hold your mind as your own once more. Love you so much Z.”

Zale knew those words; they had been said countless times and always accompanied the feelings magically transmitted through skin to skin contact, which had always been warm and comforting. He did not feel those feelings transmitted now but it did not stop the answer wave of warmth he held for his fathers. They had never allowed magic to tell their children how they felt, showing Zale and his siblings with their actions and telling them with their words time and time again. There was no end to their love of him and Zale knew it.

It did not, sadly, remove the devastation at the loss of his abilities though.

“I love you both so much, you have always been the loving support I need. Thank you for understanding my need to do this, I hope you can also understand the pain it causes to lose something that stood a part of me for so long.”

Dad and Papa both tightened their hold on him for another minute then separated and Zale got the chance to look around, finding that he and his fathers were the only ones in the room, Queen Zarkina and Lady Erica nowhere to be found. He reached for power, to find them within the house only to sigh at realization that his power was well and truly in that glass coffin along with Xylander. He could not reach for anyone within his mind and again he felt the swell of sadness, falling sideways into his Dad’s chest for comfort. Papa kept his hands around one of his and he settled there, receiving deliciously familiar comfort, allowing him to speak his mind.

“Did I scream, make any sounds?” he whispered. Dad’s hand was around his shoulder and Pop’s hands squeezed his gently.

“No,” Pop finally whispered, the sound hoarse as if his elder father had been the one to scream in pain.

“I am glad to know that I did not speak the sound I made in my mind.”

“You did not scream but you stopped breathing once,” Dad whispered, tears in his voice more than apparent and Zale whimpered at the thought of his fathers thinking that his decision would cause his death even for a moment. He nuzzled into his biological father’s chest to remind him again that he was here and breathing.

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

Dad sighed, “Nothing to apologize for Z-Man, we all were aware going in that this would be a harsh thing you would have to do. We only had minor heart attacks,” he said with a grin in his voice. Though Zale knew the humor was covering the pain and fear but he chuckled slightly to allow his father the right to hide the true feelings he had. Zale knew that once upon a time, when he was a babe, that Xylander had caused distress and almost death. This was reawakening the pain born that die, and it ripped at the scar in his elder father who had once lost a son and who feared his failure to repeat it again.

“What I felt could not be described in words, it was like being torn apart only to be put back together with something missing. It was hard to see my friend trapped in a box but he is not here in my mind to tell me things that I would not see as truth. I hope to never have to feel it again and I hate that you feared my death for this but for the first time in my whole life, Xylander is not whispering.”

Dad coughed like he didn’t know what to say or didn’t know how to say what he was trying to and Zale realized all of a sudden that he would have to relearn the world and his relationships without magic. Dad and Papa had been living without magical answers given by Xylander as Zale had until moments before, they would see him through this confusion of humanity without powers to know the feelings and thoughts of others before words were spoken.

“You’ll find your way baby,” Dad whispered gently, pressing a light kiss to the side of his head. He knew only a couple of weeks ago he hated the idea of his father not allowing him to grow up with such endearments as ‘baby’ but now he understood beyond shadow of doubt that his father had no desire to keep him from growing up, they only see him as their son, their first born who is growing to fast for them but in some small part of him he remained their little boy and was grateful for loving fathers who would allow him both.

“I know I will,” he whispered then paused with a sigh, “Because I have you two. I will need to seek Erica to teach me as she has done and also how to undo it if I so choose but she wonders at the choice to remain here when I have no power now. She wonders if the safety of the Valley would be a better place for me to learn how to be powerless and weak.”

Jack scoffed, “Do you find that Daddy Daniel is weak?”

Zale’s gaze rose to first his Dad’s gaze then over to his Papa and frowned with a quick shake of his head at the simmering anger in his elder father’s gaze, he didn’t know who it was against but he answered either way, “Dad is one of the bravest and strongest men I know.”

“And me? What about Malachi, do you believe he will always be weak because he has no powers?”

Zale shook his head more viciously, trying to conclude this line of questioning. He still didn’t know if Pop was mad at him or just trying to drive home the point and the uncertainty drove his need to convince them that he had never seen his fathers as weak. “Papa, no please don’t think that. I didn’t think that, I just don’t know who I am without magic because I was born with it. You have always been who you are and now I am going to have to relearn who I am. If you think we can stay here then I will and am happy for it but I don’t know how to respond to things anymore when I can’t contact Zada and I can’t feel you in the back of my mind. I don’t know how to live in the world that’s disconnected from me like this!”

Dad’s hands immediately started rubbing up and down his back and he whispered harshly over Zale’s shoulder, “Jack!”

Zale looked at his father again and the anger wasn’t there anymore, just the concern etched into his eyes and cheek and mouth. Papa squeezed his hand again and spoke, “I’m sorry Z, and if you think you should go back to the Valley then we will, if it keeps you safe then that’s what we do no matter what.”

Zale collapsed against Dad’s shoulder, suddenly exhausted by everything and everyone, “I don’t know what to do.”

Dad hugged him then they were all shifting around him and he didn’t know what they were doing or anything, he had no way of sensing their intention and he grappled with them terrified that they were leaving him or angry with him. The Dad spoke gently, “You are exhausted Zale, we are going to get you up to your bed and let you sleep for a while. The other kids want to see you but you are barely holding it together. I think you need to rest for a while first.”

Zale deflated with the knowledge of what was happening and allowed himself to be taken to his bed, tucked in gently and received a gently kiss from his fathers. He honestly didn’t think he could see Zada or the others right now and deal with the fact that they would call for his magical connection and it wouldn’t be there. So he closed his eyes and whispered, “Tell them I love them, I’m here and even if they can’t feel me I’m not going anywhere. I love you both for this and so much more.”

“Love you too Z,” Papa said.

Dad kissed his head again, a slight sense of tears transferring in the caress and whispered as well, “Love you Zale, we will talk to the others and make sure Erica is available to you when you wake up later.”

Zale nodded and closed his eyes and waited for the words to lift inside him, telling him the lies he was so used to hearing and there was nothing. He took a deep breath and settled into the silence, trying desperately not to be sorry about the silence but the cost of the silence might not be something he’d been prepared to live with.

He allowed the silence to lull him into exhausted sleep anyway.


	8. Struggling with Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zale has no power, Daniel and Jack have had a disturbing morning and there was nothing else but time and pain and what to do next...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the midst of Camp NanoWrimo at the moment, sorry it took me a little longer to get this uploaded but I am working on getting the rest of it posted.

Jack watched as Daniel paced around the bedroom and suddenly glad that Akina and Erica were still here and spending time with the rest of the kids in the living room. It was going to take him a few minutes at least to bring Daniel back from the emotional ledge he was hanging out on. It was one he would have liked to jump off of himself but Daniel came first for the moment, Jack was better at the quietly wandering away wounded animal routine. They couldn’t go down and be anxious about this with the other children, they were going to sense it in a way that Zale no longer could and Jack had no idea how to deal with the fear he saw when Zale realized that.

“Daniel?” he finally asked, using his tone to soothe since Daniel didn’t look like he wanted to be touched at the moment. His arms were tucked around his sides and he couldn’t meet Jack’s gaze. He wasn’t expecting the anger that spewed out of his lover a second later.

“How could you do that to him! He can’t sense what we’re feeling anymore and he thought that you were mad at him and he can’t feel that we love him anymore!”

Jack knew Daniel was scared, they both were but those words brought a realization to him and he felt something painful shift in his chest, a fist around the heart just squeezing in pain at Daniel’s outburst. It hadn’t occurred to him in that moment when Zale called himself weak that it had nothing to do with Jack as a man and a father but Zale not having a part of himself that he’d had his whole life. He hadn’t been calling Jack or Daniel weak.

“I’m sorry Daniel, I am going to talk to him about that but he is going to know that we love him, whether he feels it magically or not. People have been raising children without magic for years and years before we came to this time and they knew their parents loved them because they _told them_ and showed them!”

Daniel spun back around, his arms still clamped tightly around himself and Jack couldn’t stand being away from him anymore. Jack walked over to him and pressed his palms into Daniel’s shoulders, sliding them up and down his arms and Daniel didn’t push him away thankfully. He looked back up at Jack, his blue eyes shimmering with fear and sadness, agony of those seconds when Zale stopped breathing and he leaned in and pressed a closed-mouth kiss with his husband and waited. Daniel leaned into him, desperate for the touch to continue so Jack wrapped his arms around Daniel’s shoulders and sank into another kiss. Daniel’s hands came around his waist and gripped at his back is he tilted his head down and broke the kiss as his tears tracked a path down the side of his face and Jack kissed him again, “He’s going to know we love him just as much as we always have, we’ll just have to remember he’s not like the others now but we have been telling all of them how much we love them for their whole lives.”

“How are we going to deal with this? If we treat him different then we always did he is going to think poorly of himself, that it’s about pity or something else and we can’t treat him the same, he doesn’t have powers anymore. He can’t feel what we feel for him, he doesn’t have the connection to Zada and the others anymore, he won’t be able to protect himself anymore. He’s really just going to be a thirteen-year-old kid and for the first time in his life he can’t reach for the longest relationship he’s ever had or the power that has kept him alive a lot of times when he shouldn’t have been alive. Maybe we should return to the Valley, to keep him safe.”

Jack shook his head slightly and pulled Daniel close for another hug, “We’ll talk about it together as a family but I think that Zale needs to get to know who he is with us before we go back to a place where he is going to be treated poorly because he chose his own sanity over the sake of the Valley. And our Z has never just been a normal kid, with or without his powers. He’s your son, remember? He is so smart and wise beyond his years, we are going to get him through this like everything that came before.”

Daniel nodded into Jack’s neck and took a shuddering breath, then another before he slumped into Jack’s embrace. Jack pressed a kiss into the side of his head. He didn’t know what to say anymore about any of this, Daniel was calming down but he also didn’t think they could just ignore what happened in that room when Zale fell silent and still. Daniel started hyperventilating before it even happened because Jack was sure he’d been able to feel the changes in their son’s body. Jack looked down from his position by the door and realized what had happened only seconds after and he snapped back to that gunshot that changed his life. That little helpless body covered in blood and gasping in the ambulance and later dying, the burial and walking away from his wife and understanding after Abydos that it would never be the same and wishing even then that Daniel had come home with him to Earth instead of staying with Sha’re. Jack hadn’t needed or wanted a lover then but he had needed Daniel, as a friend and confidant and it was easier now to admit to himself at the very least that he’d wanted Daniel with him. Now he was just lucky enough to have gotten that wish.

And in that moment on the cusp of panic as Zale was slumped into Daniel’s chest and Erica’s hold, Jack was wracked with fear that it would happen all over again, that they would lose Zale and he would lose Daniel and the rest of the kids because he wouldn’t be able to handle losing another son. He needed to talk about that too but right now they had some other children who needed their attention instead of silence. Zada and the others undoubtedly felt when Zale’s magical connection turned off and they would need reassurance especially since Zale wasn’t up for giving that reassurance himself.

Daniel coughed a little, clearing his throat then whispered and his lips slipped along Jack’s collarbone, “You’re not going to lose me, that was never going to happen. Okay?”

Jack groaned a little though he was happy to hear the sentiment, “I really hate when you do that sometimes. Our kids are supposed to be the ones with telepathy.”

“Too weird?” Daniel muttered against his neck, the warmth of his breath pinging off of Jack’s skin, making the hair stand on end in a delicious response to his husband’s closeness.

Jack shifted back, moving his arm from around Daniel to press a palm into his husband’s cheek and smiled a little, he couldn’t deny the sadness in the expression and wouldn’t if Daniel questioned it but he did smile because he loved this man so much that it was worth smiling about, “No just to smart for my own good, you promise we can talk all our stuff out later, that it won’t get forgotten in the desire to make sure our children are okay. I know I am feeling desperate to check on them but this was a little too close for comfort.”

Daniel smiled a little in return, “I promise Jack but try and remember that we didn’t lose him and this isn’t history repeating. I love you and you can’t make me leave you.”

“Oh yeah?” Jack asked with a grin.

Daniel nodded, “Yeah Jack O’Neill, I love you so much I can’t even imagine being here in this world without you, super unhealthy and desperately in need of a good smack in the face but still irrevocably true. What do you say about that?” His hands pressed a little desperately into the side of Jack’s face even as he tried to force a smile.

“Only if I get a smack too because I don’t want to live in a world where you aren’t, the only reasons I would even be willing to try are those kids of ours. So don’t try to go anywhere either Dr. Jackson-O’Neill. I seriously don’t want to do the teen years alone.”

Daniel leaned forward with a chuckle, pressing another kiss to Jack’s mouth before he pulled away, “Deal. Let’s go see to our beautiful children now.”

Jack nodded and they both turned towards the door and walked downstairs and into the living room. Janet and Claire were on the floor with Malachi and Johnny was sitting on the couch with a book open in his lap, dwarfing him with the sheer size of it. Zada was not there, Erica was sitting in the armchair watching the children and the queen was also suspiciously absent.

“Erica?” Jack asked, bringing the woman’s attention to him. She stood and walked over to hug them both quickly, offering comfort because they obviously still looked like a train hit them both. Jack accepted the hug then asked, “Where is my daughter?” he demanded and felt Daniel flinch and it was a slight move one that Jack only felt because they were standing so close. Jack frowned at his husband for a second before turning back to Erica who was gesturing towards the back door with a grimace on her face.

“What’s the face for?” Daniel asked, coughing to cover whatever wavers was in his voice. Jack was going to have to ask about that later.

“Well _your_ lovely daughter,” at this Erica made a point to look at both of them when she said ‘your’ like it was supposed to mean something but Jack seemed to be missing a good third of this conversation between the three of them. First Daniel’s flinching and now Erica’s too far under the surface body language was just confusing Jack. She continued after a minute, “Zada decided that the Queen needed a talking to and Akina figured that it would be better for her that the rest of the children do not see their thirteen year old sister hand the queen her ass verbally.”

“What are you talking about?” Jack demanded, crossing his arms in agitation, a move he borrowed from his husband every once in a while after all these years together.

Erica just gestured to the back door and Jack grimaced as they walked across the room in a few long strides and he could suddenly hear his daughter shouting. He opened the door just as she took a breath for more but Akina cut her off with a hand up.

Daniel moved to step forward but Jack held him back, magically speaking they were outgunned if they got between those two girls and a catfight with magical proportions was just going to get them hurt or killed. Zada wasn’t in danger at the moment as far as they could see and she was angry, not afraid. Who knows with Akina, especially after what happened inside with Zale but Jack knew without a doubt that getting in between them right now would just be stupid.

“I understand that you are protecting your brother and your best friend Zada, but you need to remember who is the Queen and who is not. You are barely more than a child, not an adult in the eyes of the Vannas or me until you register and you will never be me. You are not the one who has to make the hard choices to keep the Vannas alive or keep ZarCorp away from my people. Now, I have allowed this to happen to Zale because he clearly is useless to me without a handle on his Magis but it is not without regret. Both you and Zale represent a great power base, one that will help in this battle. I am a friend to your fathers, to your family and I understand your frustration and your fear better than you know but do not think that my allowing you to speak freely to me is not an agreement to have you questioning me about something you have no clue about.”

Zada stood quiet for a moment then she took a step forward, right into Akina’s space and hissed, “You cannot be a friend to us when we are just cogs in your war machine. Do not pretend to be anymore.”

Jack flinched at that then watched as Zada turned away and jumped at the sight of her fathers standing there. She dropped her gaze like she was in trouble or concerned that she was about to get yelled at but she just took a deep breath and walked back inside. Jack wanted to reach out to her, touch her and comfort her in some way because she was responding poorly to Zale’s loss of powers. He also knew that she didn’t need any of that to happen in front of the queen and sadly she had a point so Jack had no intention of punishing her later for speaking her mind.

Akina stood there where Zada left her, dumbstruck and silent. She frowned and Jack watched in amazement when a tear trickled down from her eye. She still hadn’t even acknowledged their presence there, like she was trapped in her mind and she wasn’t aware of her surroundings.

Someone walked up behind Jack and Daniel, he turned to catch Erica in the corner of his vision and she gestured for them to return inside but Daniel crossed his arms belligerently and Jack had no intention of leaving Daniel in the volatile situation by himself was a good idea so he shook his head as Erica shrugged like she was expecting that result and she walked down towards Akina. The queen finally shook herself from her reverie and she forced a smile, the ‘Queen Face’ as Jack liked to refer to it. It was the expression she wore when she was playing to her crowd rather than having her feelings reflected on the surface. She was good at forcing it, but Jack was used to Daniel’s faking it and he knew Akina pretty well, even in a small way. He felt a lot of the time that Daniel and Akina were two sides of the same coin and he knew what it was like to love a person like that, someone who kept everything close to the vest and hid themselves for the good of others, Daniel had perfected in adolescence.

“Nina, we should go and let them have some time with Zale,” Erica said gently and Akina looked up and over Erica’s shoulder to Daniel and Jack.

“Do you think she’s right?” she asked suddenly, ignoring Erica’s request and her shaking head. Being the best friend to the Queen had to have way more frustrations than perks.

“Do not answer that!” Erica demanded before Jack or Daniel could speak. Jack shook his head and wondered who was kidding whom right now. Jack didn’t really listen to anyone when it came to being honest with ‘the man’ or in this case ‘the Queen’ and Daniel was her friend, asking something like that, he wouldn’t be able to not tell her. And Erica, so desperate to hide the truth from her friend, a truth that she needed to know to be able to do something different if that’s what she chose to do. Sadly, Jack and Daniel and everyone could be as honest as they chose to be with Akina when she agreed to hear it and the lady would still do what she had to do, she would just feel a little more guilt about it later…maybe. Jack had no illusions about that here and now, he’d been in the military long enough to recognize an opening that could and probably would amount to nothing later on.

“I can hear you thinking from over here,” Akina grumbled and Erica groaned, like she forgot whom she was dealing with, placing a hand to her forehead and scrubbed over her face though she never removed her hand from Akina’s back.

“Lady Zarkina,” Daniel started formally and Akina glared at him for a second and he held up his hands in surrender and started again, “Akina, when it comes to the war and the power at your beck and call, it’s hard to think that we could ever really be your friends, it feels like our children are chess pieces on a board, waiting for you to push them into position. It’s hard to see friendship in that even though we love you and respect you for the kind of leader that you are. I love my son more than I respect you and there is no easy way to say that but I am sorry that I feel that way.”

Jack’s eyes widened at that, there was honesty then there was a gut-punch honesty that Daniel just delivered and he was surprised at his kind and compassionate husband. Daniel was dealing with a lot if he was willing to say something like that to a close friend and not sugar-coat it at all and Jack wondered how he could have missed the pain it represented.

“You should not have to feel sorry for loving your children more than your leader,” Akina mumbled as she crossed her arms and fell silent for a few seconds. Daniel didn’t mutter apologies or retract anything; he just stood quietly as Jack stayed silent, still reeling from the shock. Akina spoke again, “Is this all I am now to my trusted friends and subjects? A warmonger who will only ever see any of you as pawns to be used?”

Jack waited in the ensuing silence, for something to be said but when he looked back, Daniel was staring blanking over Akina’s shoulder. Jack took a deep breath, worried about what that look really meant. So he spoke instead of waiting anymore, he didn’t know if his honesty would help or hinder but he had to say something, “Akina you were right about one thing when you were speaking to Zada.”

Daniel was quick to exclaim, “Jack!”

“No, let me finish please,” he responded gently, his hand reaching out for Daniel in concern but he just glared at all of them in turn. Jack faced Akina knowing that he had no choice but to continue whether Daniel was angry with him or not, “You are the queen and you have to know your strengths especially in war times and that’s the sad truth of the world we all live in. It sucks more than the telling of it that our thirteen year old son and daughter are a part of that but me not liking it isn’t making it any less the case.”

“But?” Akina asked even as Daniel walked off the porch to get away from Jack but he also moved away from Akina and Erica. He started pacing, agitation and anger making it impossible for him to stand close. ‘ _Goodie’_ Jack thought, they were going to be fighting about this later. So he had better get this said and hope it was enough, not to make sure Daniel and he didn’t fight but he spoke so he knew that he fought for his children.

“But sometimes we can forget there is more to life than the hard decisions we have to make in command. I just ask, would you like it if someone said the same things to you about Greer or Taylor? Any of your children? Would that have been taken well in your mind?”

Akina didn’t say anything and Jack looked over to Daniel, who had stopped pacing and was watching him closely.

He figured it was time to say the part that he dreaded the most. “And if we are only useful because of our children’s powers anymore then maybe it’s time for us to go somewhere else.”

“Whoa,” Daniel exclaimed into the silence and Jack’s gaze darted over to him, concerned that he had gone to far, but Daniel’s face was slack with shock but not much else for that one moment. Then he was moving quickly up to Jack and pressed in close for a desperate grappling hug. Jack wrapped his husband up in his arms and felt as the shiver sink into his body and left Daniel after another moment of close contact to soothe the fear inside. Jack suddenly had no doubts that what he said was something that Daniel had considered more than once; otherwise he would not have pressed so close in a moment on display of the Queen and her best friend. Though he had been desperate when he spoke only minutes before, he couldn’t have spoke out against leaving the Valley because he loved Akina, she was a close friend and a beloved confidant in Daniel’s life and he’d never been any good and picking one loved one over another, even if one side of the argument was for their children. Jack had no compunction saying what needed to be said because he’d already lost one son because of his negligence, he would rather burn in some hellish jail cell or a more literal kind of hell rather than see any of his children fall because of someone else’s desires.

Jack hugged him for another moment, looking at Akina over his husband’s shoulder as she struggled with all that was going through her mind at the moment, undoubtedly Zara was giving her words of wisdom as well and he thought again about the reason they were out here fighting while his son was inside sleeping after having his heart stop beating. He recognized the fear that echoed in the queen’s eyes, the anger a close second to the pain there as well. Daniel pressed a quick kiss to the side of Jack’s neck then turned back to Akina and spoke in a soothing tone.

“This is not an ultimatum, Akina, this is not forever but a reminder that our children are more than their powers, that you are more than the difficult choices you must make as queen. You are a mother Akina, I know you would do anything to keep them from this war but their safety should not come at the sacrifice of all the other children. We love you milady but we have to pick our children over your war.”

Erica stared between all of them, her gaze full of terror and amazement but a depth of pride as well that Jack had no doubt was aimed at both of them as well as Akina for hearing this opinion and actually stopping to wonder about it before she went on the offensive which was her normal mode of operating. She could not stand to be questioned in front of others; she could not here criticism and hear anything but the failure that she felt at the hands of her subjects and friends. Erica’s arms were still holding onto Akina, a loose embrace that she could easily pull from. It was the gentle support that Akina needed from her friend and second-in-command while she crashed in front of them. Her eyes were downcast, her body shaking in slight tremors that were barely visible and for a woman with legendary control, Jack understand the depths in which she felt their words and choices as well as her own.

What he didn’t understand was why this was hitting the Queen so hard, he wondered if there had been other warnings from others but sadly right now Jack only cared about their ability to serve and protect their children in the only way they knew how—without magic.

“Maybe you should go, come back tomorrow when we have all had time to rest and recuperate from the scare with Zale,” Daniel recommended gently and it was the politically correct thing for Daniel to not bring up the fact that Akina was falling apart, he brought it back to them needing time though she knew that they knew. Daniel was just giving her an out, because he was Daniel.

Akina nodded, taking the out and Erica spoke, “I must return and speak to Zale again, to help him with the transition of not having access to Xylander and his powers. It is something I am more than familiar with.”

Jack and Daniel nodded then the two women were gone in a pop of power and displaced air that whooshed across Jack before he turned back to Daniel who still looked shell-shocked, tears shimmering on his lashes, attempting to escape.

“Daniel?” he asked gently, his hand reaching out to tuck under the edge of his husband’s neck then before another words passed his lips he had arms full of archeologist again and Jack had no choice but to just hold him and accept the back bending hug. He wrapped Daniel up in his arms and pressed another kiss to the side of Daniel’s head, “Thank you,” the younger man finally whispered.

Jack frowned at that, “What? Why?” he asked with an airy chuckle, Daniel’s hair ticking across his nose with the movement.

“I so needed her to know that I was—that we were going to fight for him and the rest of them. I didn’t want to give her an ultimatum but this is to important. You somehow said what I couldn’t. So—thank you.”

“I can say it because I don’t feel like I have to betray one of my best friends in the process of protecting our children, you do.”

Daniel pulled away, “I shouldn’t have felt that way, our children’s safety is more important than the relationship I have with the queen.”

Jack’s brow raised, “Daniel don’t be stupid,” Daniel glared at him for that, trying to push away from him but Jack didn’t let him, pressing another kiss to Daniel’s cheek, “No I mean it as a kindness Danny. Of course it matters, she is also our queen, she has the right to kick us out and you understand that better than I do plus again, she’s one of your friends.”

“But our kids…”

Jack interrupted again, pressing a finger to Daniel’s lips to quiet him, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

With that, Daniel deflated against Jack’s chest and they just held onto each other for another minute, pulling themselves together in the passing of time. Daniel moved to press a quick kiss to Jack’s lips and turned to walk back inside where the found Zale sitting on the couch, surrounded by his siblings. Malachi was sitting on Zale’s lap and everyone else was squished onto the one long couch. Zada was on one side with Janet and Claire on the other as well as Johnny snuggled into Zada’s lap.

“Why didn’t you come get us? You didn’t sleep very long Z,” Jack stated gently as they joined their family in the big room.

Zale just shrugged and looked down to smile a little sadly at his littlest brother. “I could not sleep so I came down. You were talking to Lady Zarkina and I did not want to interrupt.”

Jack walked over because he couldn’t stop himself, to kiss Zale on the head and his son smiled shyly as he kept looking down at Malachi then Janet made grabby hands at him, demanding kisses as well so Jack chuckled before he passed around kisses to everyone and Daniel followed close behind before they moved to sit in the armchairs across from the couch and watched and waited.

Zada started, “I am so sorry Papa and Dad, I should never have spoken to Lady Zarkina the way I did. I know my actions were wrong and I will accept any punishment as you think is necessary.”

Jack and Daniel shared a look and Daniel gestured for Jack to take this one. And he happily did so, “Zada the way you spoke to her was inconsiderate and ill timed, the Queen has always allowed us a bit of leniency when it comes to how we speak to her but she deserves your respect.”

He paused and she nodded, “I understand Papa.”

“And you will write out an apology and read it to her to that effect,” Jack continued so she nodded again. “But what you said to her was born of pain and fear about you and Zale, even the girls and Johnny and it is something that in our heart of hearts, Daddy and I are concerned about.”

Zada stared at him then looked to Daniel who nodded.

“You worry she is not really our friend anymore?”

Daniel spoke up, “No, I worry that it doesn’t matter, that the war and winning it is all that she sees right now. That means that we have to make sure that you guys are not just a means to fight because you are not. So we have a couple decisions to make and its possible that Papa and I will have to make them but you need to know about them.”

“Are we going to stay here for a while?” Zale asked gently.

Instead of answering that question, Jack asked another, “How are all of you doing? Zale with the lack of magic and the rest of you after it happened and how it felt? That’s my first concern.”

All of the children turned to Zale to answer first and Jack smiled, he was one of the elder siblings, whether or not he was magical he was the one they turned to and deferred to. And he was such a loving and gentle person, Zada was definitely still the balls to the wall bossy General-in-training but even she waited on her brother at the moment.

“It’s quiet in here, partially because I cannot hear Xylander any longer but also because I have lived my entire life with connections to the bonds between myself and the others, even with Aunt Sam’s children. Now they just are not there. We were testing things out and I can receive messages but I cannot send them. I am left with verbal communication and if I am alone I cannot call out for help,” he paused.

Daniel looked like he was going to burst so Jack pressed a hand on his knee and let Zale finish.

“Without the magic I am alone in my head and though that feels scary and lonely, which is why I wanted to come down here in the first place. I couldn’t sleep but the fact is that Xylander cannot convince me of the lies he used to tell me and thought I am worried I am also free.”

Daniel’s muscles tensed beneath Jack’s hand in an obvious desire to leap up and hug their son but Jack held him in place gently, “Free?” Jack questioned.

Zale looked up and there were glistening tears fighting their way to the surface to fall down his cheeks and when he smiled, the Daniel in him shown through and Jack’s heart clenched in love at the sight of him.

“Papa, I can just be me, I don’t have to be a killer that he wants me to be. I don’t have to be the powerful warrior the queen wants me to be, I’m just me for the first time in a long time.”

“Then the price is worth it?” Daniel asked gently. “The pain, the loss of those connections?”

Zale nodded, “Worth it,” he said with a relieved sigh.

Jack couldn’t stop Daniel then with chains and cuffs, he surged up from his chair and leaned over Malachi to hug their son and pressed another kiss to Zale’s forehead. Malachi grunted and shoved at Daniel’s chest, causing the relieved father to smile and reach out for their youngest son who immediately reached for him. Daniel lifted him quickly and sat back down. Jack knew that Zale was just the first of the children that should be talked to about all this especially because of the response Zada had with the Queen. As Zale had already stated, they had been in each other’s minds since infancy.

Jack smiled at Zale, who immediately took Zada’s hand and spoke, “So glad to hear Z.”

Daniel spoke next, “And the rest of you?”

Zada spoke again; she was the oldest and clearly the most affect by what happened so it was no surprise when she spoke, “We all felt the connection disappear. It was not the severing of a bond like when the sisters lost their connections to us through Desire’s death but there was just nothing to tie our end to anymore. It is like a strange sort of limbo. We knew it was coming but it was still shocking. Thankfully we can still reach out to him though I do not experience the knowledge that he hears me and that is strange as well. I can still sense him for the most part so I might be able to act as intermediary in bad times, and the others can learn to do it as well.

Jack nodded, grateful for the honesty in Zada’s words then asked, “Johnny? Girls? What about you?”

“Zale is okay, more okay than he has been,” Claire stated in her too smart for her age tone and voice, “So we’re okay.”

“Yeah,” Janet stated and Johnny shrugged.

“Johnny?” Daniel asked gently, trying to get him to speak, say whatever was concerning the little boy.

_“Zale’s sanity is more important than the magic. He has to be okay.”_

“Johnny, that wasn’t an answer, how are you?” Jack asked again.

_“I worry for Zale and it’s important that he be okay though without magic he will be in more danger and though I feel guilty for feeling it, without Zale’s magic I am without the person I normally go to when I need help with my visions.”_

Jack shared a look with Daniel. It was something they hadn’t even considered but Johnny had a point, the eldest son had been Johnny’s salve for years when it came to the sanity before and after any visions he had, especially when he saw something bad. Zale shouldn’t have to live with the fear and panic of his Magis for the sake of his little brother because Jack didn’t like the idea of one trading their sanity and serenity for the other.

“Johnny we will all do what we must to be sure you are not alone in your premonitions okay?” Jack responded clearly, he didn’t want the boy to think he was taking this any less seriously than he should but they had more than one child to worry about. They would figure this out together. He opened his arms, not knowing if Johnny would accept comfort but the little boy immediately scrambled off of the couch and over to his father and curled into his lap. Pretty soon, Malachi was going to be the only one capable of doing that, though Jack had no intention of sticking to that line of thought at the moment.

“You won’t be alone,” Zada reassured as well, using her commanding-officer voice and he didn’t know how she knew how to do it so well at the age of thirteen but figured he only had himself to blame for that. She reached out and wrapped her arm around Zale’s shoulder and kissed him on the cheek, “Neither of you are going to be alone.”

“Johnny, you can still transfer them to me, I can receive messages. But we will teach others to help you in this way. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Johnny tucked his head under Jack’s chin then words whispered through his mind, _“But I have been doing it alone. I have seen so much, and there is so many paths, so much sadness and death and I don’t know what is real anymore.”_

Jack looked over at Daniel again, but didn’t move away from their son as he spoke, “Then its time to share the things you’ve seen, we cannot read your mind kiddo.”

Daniel gave him an exasperated look and Jack snorted in response, “Well Daddy and I cannot and if you aren’t sharing messages with your siblings either then none of us know that you need us.”

 _“Zale needed you,”_ Johnny replied like that was the answer to everything and maybe it was when it came to Daniel’s children. They were all self-sacrificing people, Zale proved that and Johnny was proving it now. They had all done things for the ‘greater good’ of the family or someone else and Jack mentally groaned at the idea that he would have to deal with at least three ‘Daniels’ in this way. It had taken years before Daniel had any kind of way to deal with self care and not giving up everything for the find, or the clue to save someone or whatever. Thankfully he wouldn’t have to do it alone, Daniel would surely see the struggle their children were having because they were being so like him.

He spoke after a minute of silence, “You can need us too buddy, okay?” he didn’t know where the idea came from that Jack and Daniel wouldn’t be able to deal with more than one of the children needing them at one time so he didn’t know what to do to undo the training but he figured being here and gently coaxing them to talk was at least a start.

Johnny wrapped his thin arms around Jack’s arm where it rest across the boy’s small chest, Jack smiled into the contact and pressed his lips to the crown of his son’s head before he looked over at the other children across from them. He didn’t know what he should say and when Daniel spoke Jack heard the tremor in his husband’s voice. “It’s kind of nice when you need us, even if it’s just to be there for you and love you because in some ways all of you grew up so fast. You are all so capable that it’s hard to remember that you should be children. It’s also easy to take for granted what good kids you all are. Sometimes the best thing we can do is call someone else to help you, like we did with Erica. We knew she would be able to help Zale, sometimes we can be the ones to help, hold and comfort or support you but sometimes we can’t be everything to you.”

Claire smiled and spoke, shining that Jackson smile into the room and both fathers took in a deep breath and sighed at the facial expression. Undoubtedly the similar response was for different reasons but these children were everything to Jack and when he say the strength of them, the beauty of their hearts and spirit, he saw Daniel and he knew that no matter what he would keep fighting to always be what they needed him to be, even if that meant being the father that let them make their own mistakes. Right now though, they could just sit here. Claire’s words washed over him, “But you are everything to all of us. We are loved and cared for, protected from things that shouldn’t hurt us and we all love you almost as much as you love us, only because you have had more time at it.”

Jack chuckled, she sounded so ridiculously old and wise, it was something of a shock to hear from one of their younger daughters but oh so right also.

At that moment there was an adorable chorus of agreement and Jack smiled, hearing as Daniel sucked in a deep breath and tried not to cry. Then they were being converged on and hugged by the rest of the children, layering them over Johnny and Malachi.

Jack chuckled as he crouched out of the chair only to sit down on the floor. Daniel followed close behind and they all flopped back down and the children puppy-piled on and around them.

He couldn’t help the smile that graced his face at the action. Daniel was right, so often their children were secretive about what they needed because they wanted to be the big boys and girls. They deserved to be kids for a while longer.

It was the reason for the vacation but now he thought maybe they needed the longer separation to learn again how to talk to each other. Moving away from the Valley wouldn’t make the other children any less magical and it wouldn’t take away the pain that Zale was dealing with. If they weren’t in the Valley though then they wouldn’t be asked to do unrealistic things or have to be so grown up.

“We’re not going back to the Valley, are we?” Janet asked, her voice quiet in the silence of the room. She sounded neutral, like Janet didn’t know what to think or feel, leaving Jack in shocked silence and Daniel stayed quiet as well. Jack didn’t think there was anything they could or would decide right now but they were old enough to know something much bigger was going on and they were going to have to answer her soon enough.


	9. Your Final Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a decision to make, that will affect them all.

Daniel stayed where he was on the floor, with Malachi’s back pressed up against his side. Claire was draped across his stomach and her head pressed into his stomach. Daniel pressed his free hand into her mass of dark brown hair, feeling the soft tresses as they swept around his fingers and fell back to her head. He wondered what they were going to do, what they could say to Janet and the rest of them when he didn’t know what to think or feel.

Jack finally spoke, and Daniel couldn’t stop the sigh of relief, “We are all just going to have to muddle through together.”

Janet nodded where she was lying on Jack before they all just let everything fall silent. As they lay together, not moving or talking, the tension and fear seeped out of them a little at a time. Daniel felt when he shoulders dropped to the floor completely and as his tight chest loosened and there was nothing between him and taking a deep fortifying breath. He wondered what came next, more talking and more working through the new state of affairs and he figured they wouldn’t beable to stay here at the vacation house forever, it belonged to Akina’s people and it was protected by her, Daniel knew he would have a hard time swallowing the dependence that created for him and the children. This vacation wasn’t a true vacation anymore because the magical world had quickly descended upon them, not because of Zale but because of the world they lived in. He also knew that if he was thinking about this then so were the children and Jack must have known it as well when he heaved a long suffering sigh.

Daniel chuckled lightly, just as Jack said, “Have at it guys.”

“What would happen to our home if we were to leave?” Claire asked, which had to be a difficult thought since they’d lost so much already when Lust set the fire to their home.

Daniel was about to answer when the barrage opened and the questions came again and layered over one another, the next from Janet, “Where would we go?”

“Would it be forever?”

“We can’t go to the city or any Zarcorp town and it took years for the Vannas people to accept us in the Valley where the queen was at. How could any other town or place trust us without her presence to give us safety?” Zada pointed out.

“How would I protect myself in an unknown place where we have no allies?” Zale asked and Daniel sighed since he figured this wasn’t going to stop and it didn’t as the children all started talking louder and over each other. The words were starting to blend together with no sense.

Then Malachi started fussing at the disquiet of his siblings and Jack spoke quickly, “AHT!”

All of the children stopped immediately, like their vocal cords had been stopped mid demands and questions. Papa had spoken and they were all aware of Malachi’s fretting, wanting to calm him gently. Jack reached over and pressed a hand to the little boy’s stomach and rubbed for a moment. Malachi immediately stumbled forward and felt into Jack’s side and curled in close to him for comfort. Daniel smiled, Malachi loved them both very much but through the bonding that came from carrying Malachi and nursing him, Jack was still the one Malachi wanted to cuddle up close to when he was agitated sometimes. Daniel saw nothing wrong with it, every once in a great while he felt a tinge of jealousy but he understood it.

Jack pressed his hand to Malachi’s back to stead him before he spoke, “We don’t know what the better options are right now guys, this may all be a moot point because maybe we’ll stay here a little while longer and then return home. After everything with Zale and the conversation we just had with the queen are a clue about anything, its that magic isn’t a fix it bd we have to look at all our options. I honestly don’t want to think about Zale and Zada having no choice but to go into battle when they reach a certain age and I don’t like to think how easily it would be for someone to declare Janet and Claire’s powers to dangerous. I think that emotions are riding high at the moment and we are not thinking clearly so let’s just get up, have something to eat then play in the yard. What do you say?”

After some general nodding everyone started to untangle themselves to stand. Daniel crawled up to his feet and was about to drag Jack up as well when there was a knock at the door.

“For a secret getaway, we sure do get a lot of visitors,” Jack stated as Daniel took back a very willing Malachi from Jack’s arms before his husband walked across the room and towards the front door though he paused, didn’t know if he should open the door. Daniel figured that when Erica came back, she would just appear in the living room or just waltz into the cabin, it was what the whole lot of the Vannas people tended to do.

Then the visitor shouted, “It’s safe guys. It’s Adrian.”

Daniel rolled his eyes right along with Jack, Adrian and ‘safe’ rarely fit into the same sentence, the guy was a warrior with the ability to drink magic from any person but to Jack and Daniel he was just Uncle Adrian. To their children, he had only ever been a beautiful addition and helpful presence in their house. Jack opened the door and a frantic young man was on the other side. Adrian’s semi long hair loose around his head and the bangs pulled back away from his face. His hand was jiggling against his leg and his green gaze bounced around the room then caught on Zale and sighed in relief.

Daniel watched Jack invite the man inside, with a hand on his shoulder pushing him to their eldest son. Adrian went with a grateful smile and gathered Zale into his arms for a back bending hug. The older man folded himself around the slight pre-teen and just held on for dear life and Daniel wondered what it had been like for Adrian to feel the tether he’d carried to Zale whither and die and not be anywhere close to be assured that the boy was okay.

“You scared me, Z,” Adrian mumbled into their son’s hair.

Zale’s arms were holding onto the man for dear life, afraid to release him it seemed, he nodded into the embrace and whispered, “Me too.”

Adrian looked up and over at Jack and Daniel and his face scrunched in despair, “I am so sorry,” he whispered to them, squeezing Zale again, “So sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Jack asked gently, not in a confrontational way, Adrian was special and he somehow rarely received Jack’s fighting side. Daniel didn’t know precisely when it happened for either his husband or their children’s godfather but Jack had loved Adrian like a son for a long time, since almost the beginning. And it had only gotten stronger as he shared in the responsibilities of childcare when Zale and Zada were very young, when Adrian and DK both lived with the Jackson-O’Neill clan.

“I’m sorry that you believe that my sister has a right to your children first. I am sorry that her fear and desperation to see the end to this battle has caused such turmoil for all of you.”

Daniel nodded but said nothing, leaning in to kiss Malachi on the head and inhaling the scent of baby, letting it calm him after the stress of the day. He didn’t want to think about the fight with Akina or Zale’s heart beat stopping when he was in Daniel’s arms because every time his mind strayed to the events of the day, his heartbeat jerked into an erratic pace and he wanted to hide all his children from the rest of the world. Jack moved quickly across the room, pulling the younger man into a hug, a desperate embrace that was eeking off the fear and panic both men had dealt with today, the thought of losing beloved son and god-son. Daniel watched the other two as Adrian muttered into the side of Jack’s neck, making the embrace look more intimate than it was, and Zale easily shrugged out of the choking embrace of the two men and moved over to Daniel and wrapped an arm around his father’s back. Daniel smiled down at him as he waited for the other two to grab hold of their feelings and put them to rights again. It was a long time in coming though, Daniel hearing an errant word or two including, ‘…so scared…’

Jack responded with a nod and returned with words of soothing comfort, Daniel didn’t need to know what he was saying because Jack was using that tone of voice that he was so good at. Jack was good at it for many reasons but the main one always happened to be using the truth to soothe away the fear and it was a powerful comfort, to Daniel and whomever Jack was speaking to.

After Adrian took in a finally calming breath and Jack was pulling out of the hug, looking a lot less wrecked than he had a few minutes previously, Daniel spoke up, “We were going to eat then go run around outside. Why don’t you stay and join us Adrian?”

“Thank you Daniel, I know you came here to get away from the crazy of my family and our home so I should just go. I just needed to know how Zale was doing.”

“Adrian, stay here with us for a little while,” Jack asked gently though there was a hint of loaded need for him to stay. Adrian had been such a constant in their home when they were learning how to live with Zale and Zada’s special needs; it wasn’t a surprise to either of them that his presence was desired. Adrian was also well aware of Jack’s need to command other people to do what he wished of them and as the brother to a queen; Adrian had always been good natured about Jack’s tendencies. It made life for Daniel, Sam and Teal’c difficult some days because Jack had spent years bossing them around in the field and on the base, but he had really given up most of that stuff years ago. Every once in a while the Colonel would come to the surface and Daniel would either ignore it till Jack removed it from the conversation or he called his husband out about it. Adrian listened when he wanted to, much like Daniel always had.

Much like he did now, finally nodding and in the ensuing cheers from the children, they all wandered into the kitchen to find food. Daniel walked over to the table and put Malachi into his highchair, strapping him in so he wouldn’t climb out of the thing again, the straps were a new invention born of demand with their youngest Jackson-O’Neill. They all put together a simple meal of sandwiches and fruit with a salad. They worked in relative silence, pleased at the comfort in it, then as they all sat down Daniel started a conversation in another language, Latin, and listened as they talked around him. Zale joined in, it was one of his favorite languages and he didn’t need magic to partake in the activity, he didn’t lose the knowledge that he had gained through all the times with Daniel helping him. The proud Daddy was happy to know that the loss of magic wasn’t going to take everything away from their son.

After they finished eating, everyone tumbled and raced outside, Daniel grabbing Malachi and followed close behind. Jack had fashioned several balls for them to play with, one was a lumpy soccer ball and with that they started playing games, some version of soccer bastardized with kickball and maybe football since people kept picking up and carrying the ball around. Daniel didn’t know and he figured Jack probably just made up a new game to play with them when the twins were younger.

Jack and Adrian played with the others while Malachi crawled around in the grass right outside the door under the watchful eye of his ‘father’ and Daniel thought again about the curse that brought Malachi into their lives. He didn’t think he could call the whole experience a miracle because he remembered vividly what it was like to see Jack acting so out of character. He remembers the gaunt face and pained waddle when his handsome husband was heavy with child. He remembered the daily fear that he was going to lose Jack because of the child that shared both of their DNA and Daniel couldn’t live with that.

The other truth he remembered from before Malachi was removed from Jack’s body was the inability of him to make that decision, the one that dictated the death of their son. He had no idea what to do, unlike now. There was a masterful simplicity to the decision they now faced because it was about their family, their children and the safety of them. He was glad in the time since Malachi was born that he couldn’t make the choice to kill the fetus to save Jack, he was a blessed man because Jack had not allowed him to take the life of their child. Malachi was a beautiful and perfectly normal child, a rarity in their family and in the Valley. Someone that Daniel loved dearly and deeply, and they all deserved to be protected.

He just didn’t know how.

Daniel knew he would do anything, give up anything for the sake of his children and do whatever he had to for them and he wouldn’t feel anything like guilt for having to do it. Saying what he had to Akina was painful but it wasn’t something he felt guilt over, his children were more important than her war. His children were his to protect and love, Akina would have to find other people to sacrifice to Zarcorp in the coming years.

“Bah bah bah,” Malachi muttered as he patted at a nearby root. Daniel smiled at his son’s wordless talking, it was weird to watch him age and learn because his other sisters and brothers had learned at a much faster rate, their capacity for growth accelerated by the magic inside each of them. Plus Malachi’s brain was still trying to catch up with his body; thankfully he had all the support in the world between his fathers and his siblings.

“What’s in that busy head of yours Daniel?” Adrian asked as he walked over, panting a little from the exertion of running around with the children and Jack. Daniel’s husband, despite his age was still plenty able to run with his babies and he took it very seriously. Daniel looked over at his friend in surprise.

“It’s been a weird couple of years but I think I’m tired of the constant crazy we have in the Valley or with magic. I don’t know what to do about it and we have nowhere else that we can go and be safe. The thing that hurts us also keeps us safe; I don’t know that to do about all that. But I can’t lose them…”

Adrian placed a firm hand to Daniel’s shoulder and smiled, staying silent for a few minutes. Daniel looked over just as something occurred to his young friend and he smiled a little, “There is yet options for you my friend. Do not give up on your get away.”

Daniel frowned, “Okay. You gonna explain yourself?”

“Need to make some inquiries but yes I will explain myself,” Adrian returned with an easy grin. Daniel shrugged and went back to watch Malachi who was about to put a clump of dirt in his mouth. Daniel reached down and waylaid the hand from the mouth as he lifted the child and cuddled him, as a giggle fell from his son’s mouth Jack looked over and smiled at them both.

Daniel couldn’t stop the returning smile, nor would he want to. He didn’t stop to wonder why something settled inside of him at that look. He didn’t have to wonder, or worry or question it. After all—this was Jack, his lover and partner, husband and friend.

He didn’t know if he could afford to hope, no matter what Adrian had to say to them but he was willing to wait and listen all the same. He’d do anything for them, his family.

Adrian stayed for dinner and tucking in the younger children, leaving Zada and Zale in the living room with Adrian, Jack and Daniel. As soon as the little ones were down, Zale’s face fell into a neutral expression that Daniel knew pretty damn well from the mirror. His eldest was just plain done with everything and tired. There was a bone weary exhaustion in Zale’s eyes and body and Daniel wanted again to hug him. Daniel didn’t know if physical contact would help or hinder his son though, they had just come off a week of a lot of touchy feely days and he liked spaced when he could get it from his siblings and parents. It could possibly highlight the loss of his powers or it could be the comfort he needed.

Jack didn’t have any qualms about it though or it just wasn’t enough to stop him from sitting down on one side of their son. Daniel moved quickly to the boy’s other side to do the same.

“What can we do Z?” Jack asked, his voice breaking a little on the end and he coughed to try to cover it, if not at least clear it. Daniel was not so attuned to Zale that he’d forgotten what kind of fears were reaching out from the past to choke Jack. Daniel would kiss those better later as well. Daniel didn’t know what it was like to watch a child die and he was praying and hoping that he would never have to.

“I don’t know what I am without the magic,” he shuddered out, his body wracked with tiny shudders that were desperately trying to multiply and advance.

Daniel pressed a frantic kiss to Zale’s head as he whispered into his son’s hair, “Zale Charles, you are smart and soulful, someone who has done more for your family than anyone could have ever asked for. You are an amazing son and brother.”

“None of that changes with the loss of magic,” Jack continued.

“Maybe you can be more you without it,” Zada whispered, almost to quiet to be heard even over though the only sounds in the room were their breathing and heartbeats. Jack, Daniel and Zale all looked at her in surprise.

“What’s that baby girl?” Jack asked gently, Daniel watched as he actively attempted to school his features but it was a tough one.

“Think about it,” she said, holding her hands out to them in some gesture that was more reminiscent of Daniel’s briefing days than anything else. She was about to deliver the punch line and they better be listening. “Zale and I have been two people since we were young, our minds split between us and the Magic. It gives us amazing abilities and wisdom beyond our years but it also means there has been a voice inside giving advice and speaking for us sometimes. I have been blessed with Sarafina, that she has been benevolent and chooses to stay silent for most of the time, especially now but this is going to be one of Zale’s first opportunities to see what he thinks and feels about things without Xylander always trying to convince him of something else.

Daniel watched as Zale stared at his sister, dumbfounded by her statement. Jack was staring, slack-jawed as well while Daniel smiled at his beautiful and brilliant daughter. He could have said the exact same thing and it wouldn’t have meant much of anything because he’d never lived with what his son and daughter have been living with their whole lives, but Zada saying what they were all thinking or feeling, allowed Zale to truly feel what he was right now.

“The silence isn’t just being alone Z,” Daniel continued in Zada’s silence, “It means getting to know your thoughts and responses, not Xylander.”

Zale turned to him, “I really am just Zale, aren’t I?” he asked and Daniel smiled since his son didn’t sound devastated, just kind of awestruck.

“Pretty cool huh?” Daniel asked. “Except for the part where your heart stopped beating, that wasn’t fun for us at all.”

Zale nodded, apparently focused on the question part when Zada and Adrian gave Daniel matching shocked looks, Daniel winced a little because he’d assumed that Zada had already known and Adrian was old enough to handle it. He would need to apologize for shoving her face into the fact later, for now he nodded then gestured to Zale as if to say ‘he’s here and alive, we can talk about it later’.

Zale spoke, slowly and clearly, “If I spend this time getting to know me, figuring out what I would like to do and what I am willing to do then when I reconnect with Xylander and my magic then I would be better prepared to tell him yes or no. I could get it back.”

Daniel wasn’t surprised that Zale had wondered if he would ever get his Magis back, the power and everything, undoubtedly it was one of the reasons he couldn’t take that step before. Now it wasn’t about giving it all up for the sake of his sanity, it was letting go of something for a while, to regain some of that peace then seeing how much he could take with a little bit of perspective of a life without Xylander. As Zada has already said perfectly, neither of the Z-twins knew what life was like without the Magis in their head. Zale was going to get that opportunity now.

“That’s possible, Z,” Daniel returned gently, tightening his arm around his son just a tad.

“I don’t understand how the Queen can have such an easy time with her Magis, I thought maybe that it was just me, a failing on my part. She did this, Zada does this and so does Erica in her own way but I don’t know if I can for a while at least.”

Daniel sighed; perfectionism was another Jackson trait, something that Zale undoubtedly got from him and his Papa who wanted to be perfect in so many little ways; as a father and a husband being an example. When Jack screwed up he took it all personally and at a level ten very quickly, with guilt and shame to boot, Daniel had witnessed it more than once in their lives together, before and after marriage and children. He did respond, not to make the teen feel any better but because he had information that Zale didn’t possess, which would shift the perspective he was having at the moment. “Zarkina did not share her mind and body with Zara her whole life, only since she was about sixteen when the Magis Queen woke up. That has not been as many years as you have dealt with your Magis. She had a hard time, Sir William as well but they all had time to learn who they were in ways that you did not. They learned how to exert their voice and their emotions over the ones of the Magis they carried.”

Zale frowned and thought about that for a few minutes, his head tilted as he gave his Dad the side-eye, wondering if he was making something up to make him feel better. Daniel returned the side-eye then gave him and wink, causing his son to smirk. After that they talked for a couple more minutes before Zale and Zada hugged everyone and headed for bed. Daniel listened as the doors closed behind both children before he pushed across the couch and sought out the warmth of Jack’s open embrace. He wrapped an arm around Jack’s stomach and tucked in as Jack’s arm moved around Daniel’s shoulders and rubbed over his arm soothingly.

Adrian was still sitting in front of them, looking close to exhausted, as Daniel had ever seen him.

“You should sleep here Adrian, you look bushed,” Jack said gently, taking the question out of Daniel’s mouth. He nodded instead but Adrian was already shaking his head.

“DK is waiting for me, I have already hidden here long enough, and it’s time for me to return home.”

“Why are you so spooked about this Adrian, it’s more than just what happened with Zale, isn’t it?”

The younger man nodded, leaning down to press his head into his hands, knuckling his eye sockets for a moment before he looked over at them, Jack knew this man well enough to ask the question and probably get an answer despite Adrian’s penchant for needing to appear strong. Something deeper would explain why he’d come here so suddenly and had to be assured of Zale’s safety and then no leaving when it was over, attempting to wear out the welcome that wasn’t going to wear out any time soon.

“I’m worried about Akina, this thing with Zale is just so unlike her, she wouldn’t do to someone and it would not have even been an idea in her head a year or so ago. She would have been the first in line to bind Zale’s powers for his good, talking him through everything she went through with Erica and her Magis. This behavior is more like what our mother would do; giving up anything and anyone for the wins she needed as the queen, to keep her placement. It kept us safe sometimes but mostly it just meant we never had our parents. She was the one who was always willing to sacrifice her people for the good of the royal family, that is not Akina.”

Jack shook his head, bumping Daniel’s head in the motion, “I don’t think you can say that anymore. She would rather our thirteen-year-old son and daughter is miserable and powerful than powerless and happy. How are we supposed to keep believing in her as a leader we trust if she no longer see children as someone to protect?”

Adrian held his hands out in supplication, shrugging almost violently after a moment and Jack groaned at the expression of loss on the man’s face. Daniel barely contained his own sound of distress at their young friend’s fear.

“Is there something else going on, that we don’t know about?” Jack asked.

Adrian shrugged, “I don’t know, Akina has become very isolated and she has not spoken to us in a long time, San and I stand confused and without knowledge, William is pulling away from us as well, like it is the only way that they could handle whatever they are dealing with alone. I do not understand what is happening with my family. I have been staying with your father off and on, worried that he’s alone though he spends much of his time with Jacob.”

“Do you think they are in danger?” Daniel asked fear wrapping tightly around his esophagus at the thought of losing Ben. He was the only father Daniel had known since he was nine years old, “Sam and her family?”

Adrian shook his head, “They are all safe. Ben is a beloved elder as is Jacob but it seems like my sister is gearing up for something big and she is afraid so she is counting her available weapons. When she ‘lost’ one in Zale, it caused some kind of mental breakdown.”

“Is she fit to lead?” Jack asked and Daniel rolled his eyes at the punch-to-the-gut question. Jack was never one to pussy-foot around a concern and this was Adrian, he definitely wasn’t going to hide from him. This was Jack’s family after all, from his father to his friends and teammates to their children. Jack was going to know what he needed to know to make an educated and informed decision.

“She has not placed any undo harm on anyone, she is just intense with people.”

“But you think it won’t stop there?” Daniel asked but it wasn’t a question.

Adrian pressed his fingers into his eye sockets painfully and Daniel had his answer.

“What should we do?” Jack asked gently, trying not to upset the poor kid anymore than he already was but they needed to know what to do. They had children to take care of.

The prince took a moment to scrub his face briskly, took a deep breath and looked over at them, “I think you should all take leave of the Valley, allow Zale to learn himself. Go be somewhere that magic isn’t the law we live by.”

Daniel frowned, “Is there such a place, one that isn’t a Zarcorp stronghold?”

Adrian smiled, “There is now. DK and I have fostered a community for those who are living without magic for whatever reasons. Its small and they have a system to get in touch with DK or myself but it is a community that does no rely on magic.”

Daniel breathed a deep sigh and sat up to look at Jack who was staring at Adrian with wonder and cynicism in his dark eyes, his gaze shifted to Daniel then back to Adrian again.

“Adrian you should really stay the night,” Daniel offered again but the man just shook his head again.

“I am going home to my wife and children, she will talk me through this and she will stand at my side while I learn to deal with what is happening to my family. I would be pleased, comforted if you would consider my offer.”

Both fathers nodded then Adrian heaved himself up off the chair and disappeared, Daniel marveled again over the fact that a man disappearing into thin air was commonplace in their world.

“Well that was a day,” Jack finally stated.

Daniel tried to get the spinning in his mind to still so he could respond. The fire and Jack’s curse, Malachi’s sickness and fast aging were all racing through his mind and the terrible things that magic had done to them in past years. He thought about Johnny getting stabbed and the thoughts kept coming, they’d had amazing times, fun times together. There had been years where things were downright boring and life affirming, but he could only see the struggle and pain of the last couple of years. All he wanted now was to find some balance between magic and the children, their family and other people. He didn’t think he was capable of finding what he needed in the presence of the Vannas people.

“Danny, you with me here?” Jack asked as the hand over his shoulder moved to caress his neck. He nodded, a small jerking motion as he pressed his head in close to Jack’s neck and shoulder.

“Jack I can’t see the good anymore, its all just to much and to painful and I can’t lose Zale or Zada or any of you guys because of magic. I have always loved the Valley and the life we have there but it’s not that same anymore.” Daniel’s last words were whispered desperately as Jack held him close.

“I know Danny, I’ve got you. We’re going to make the choice together to do what we need to do. This isn’t on you, this isn’t your fault and its okay to be upset, we have gone through so much in a short amount of time, its pretty damn normal to feel overwhelmed at some point. I am surprised you didn’t hit your mark ages ago.”

Daniel nodded into Jack’s shoulder and when he got up, Daniel followed and they both walked back upstairs into the bedroom. Daniel mechanically got undressed and got into bed, under the covers and watched as Jack prepared for bed. He smiled at the thought that Colonel Jack O’Neill had been with him for almost fifteen years now and there was nothing they didn’t know about each other, they were raising six children together and they had been together for everything from family fights, accidents and people out to get them, there had been curses and magic and mayhem, and through it all they had been together. It was even more apparent now in the last couple of years and Daniel couldn’t help but think he couldn’t have asked for a better partner in all that. And if the next choice they made was to move away from the Valley, to leave behind the only world their children knew for the safety of them then so be it. At least they would be together and he would have Jack.

“Jack?” he whispered and the older climbed into the bed with him. They turned towards each other and Daniel tucked a fist under his neck so he could look at Jack.

“Yeah Daniel?” Jack finally whispered back.

“I love you,” Daniel whispered.

Jack smiled a little, a gentle look on the angular face that Daniel had loved for such a long time. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips before he resettled on his pillow and listened as Jack spoke, “You, my Dr. Jackson-O’Neill are so loved by me that I can barely stand it. I think back to the days and weeks and months before we had accepted our feelings for each other and I am glad after all this time for the lives we have had and what we will continue to have no matter where we are.”

“Yeah,” Daniel said and tucked himself into Jack’s side and sighed at the comfort freely given, allowing it to lull him to sleep. The rest would wait until morning.


	10. Hurting Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking to the children about their choice, Johnny is not okay...

Jack stretched as Daniel fumbled around at the end of the bed where his robe was and grunted as he reached out and grappled for Daniel’s hand and pulled him back down to lie next to him. Daniel chuckled, “Jack, we have hungry children.”

“They are not going to die while I lie here with you and bask in how much I love you for two minutes.”

“Sap,” Daniel returned with a smile. He leaned across the pillows and pressed his lips to Jack’s and the retired General grateful swept open Daniel’s mouth with the pressure of his tongue and they kissed lazily in bed for a few minutes. Jack knew they were going to have to get up in a few minutes because Malachi would not let the other siblings feed him, he was pretty particular about Jack feeding him in the morning. Daniel was a wonderful Daddy and Malachi loved him but out of all the children, Malachi loved his Papa and they had something from the pregnancy and the breastfeeding when Mal was a baby, something that none of the other children had necessarily. It was even more important because Malachi wasn’t magical and he could sense the bonds between family and all of them were aware and worked really hard to let the youngest Jackson-O’Neill know he was loved. They would have to do the same thing for Zale now, because he wouldn’t be able to sense their love for him.

Jack pulled back from the kiss when they heard the expected, “Papa!” shouted out from the girls’ room, meaning that Malachi was fussing loud enough that they could hear him and Zale could sleep like the dead in the morning sometimes and Johnny didn’t really bother to tell on his siblings about anything, it was beneath him or something.

Daniel chuckled and kissed the side of Jack’s mouth once again, “Let’s go Papa, your master calls.”

“Yeahsureyoubetcha,” Jack said with a grin. They both climbed out of bed and Jack grabbed his robe, putting it over his underwear and night shirt, belting it tightly even as Daniel did the same. Daniel headed for the stairs to start breakfast and Jack walked over to the boys’ room and walked in, grabbing Malachi from the crib and determined it was probably a good idea to put the crib back in their room though it had been nice to have one night with just Daniel, he’d needed that even if they’d done nothing more than hold each other.

Malachi giggled and squirmed in his arms and Jack talked to him quietly while he walked over to Zale and scrubbed a hand through his eldest son’s black hair until he stirred and started to wake. Johnny was already scrambling for clothes and shoes, getting ready to tumble down the stairs towards the kitchen and his Daddy. They would still need to talk things out with Johnny as well, make sure the little boy was getting the support he needed. Jack walked out of the room, and opened the girls’ room just as Janet and Claire came bursting out and stomped down the stairs.

“Stop running girls,” Jack commanded.

“Sorry Papa,” they chorused back as they came to a screeching halt before they started walking again. Jack rolled his eyes and checked to find Zada sitting on her bed, legs crossed with her hands on her bent knees. She looked like she was meditating and he wondered for all of two seconds where she’d learned to do that then turned back around and walked out of the room, leaving her in peace. Uncle Teal’c undoubtedly taught both of the Z-twins to help with their dual personality stuff, something that Daddy Daniel would learn so he could help his children any way he could, something that Zarkina and Sir William would have passed on. It made sense that Zada knew how to meditate and he was glad that it was doing something for her.

Downstairs Johnny was helping his father to set the table and gather all the fixings for their breakfast, always a fantastic affair that took more than one set of hands which is why Zada, Zale and the twins or Johnny always helped with the meals now since they were all old enough too. Malachi would too someday but it seemed like that was a long time off, something that Jack was strangely thankful for. Daniel was right about a lot of things and the one thing that broke Jack’s heart a little was that their children were growing up so quickly and Malachi wasn’t. Zada and Zale were on the cusp of Vannas adulthood, Janet, Claire and Johnny were all so much more mature than they should be at ten years old but that hadn’t been as much of a surprise after watching the Z-twins age the way they had. Malachi, though was aging a lot like Charlie had, from what Jack had seen of it between missions and in their downtime. It’s possible that Malachi was moving even slower in some ways because of the curse doing more damage than they were aware of at the moment but that would be something they would just have to keep an eye out for and help him with.

Jack put Malachi into his high chair before he walked over and took the food Daniel offered with a smile. Jack leaned in close and pressed a kiss to Daniel’s mouth as the rest of the children raced into the kitchen and settled around the table. Zale was happy and speaking already in Latin, and the others followed. Jack helped Malachi to eat his breakfast and munched on the sausage that Daniel made for him, and drank some of juice as well. Daniel spoke to the children and Jack allowed the unknown words to wash over him. He didn’t need to know anything about what they were saying, he knew they were running drills verbally as well as telling stories, it was how Daniel taught them different languages their whole lives.

“Can we talk about where we are going to go?” Zale asked, almost to quiet to be heard in the ruckus of breakfast. Daniel looked at Jack and he waited. He didn’t know what they were going to tell the children, how much of the decision would have to be Daniel and Jack’s decision but they rarely made choices for the family without talking about it with them a little bit at least.

“Uncle Adrian told Papa and I about a place, that doesn’t exist solely for the use and teaching of magic. We think this would be a good place for us to go so Zale can get used to not having power, give all of us a chance to catch our breath. I know this is a big decision and its not for you guys to decide yes or no but we love you guys so much and this is for all of us.”

“You brought us here, we stayed together and Zale is going to be okay,” Zada spoke and looked at Jack then Daniel, she smiled gently and continued, “We’re a family. We go together or not at all.”

“I just need us,” Zale said with a shrug.

“We are all together in this Daddy,” Claire said gently, “Are we going to take Grandpapa with us?”

Daniel shrugged, “We don’t know right now baby but I promise that we will tell you when we do.”

They all nodded and went back to finishing up their breakfast, cleaning the table and the counter space, feeding eight people was a mess every single time, it was inevitable but thankfully Zale and Zada immediately started cleaning up and Jack looked over to Johnny.

“JJ?” Jack asked gently, “Are you okay?”

_“You will keep me from Greer for the rest of our childhood? You would remove me from the world where people can hear me? Is magic not allowed in these places?”_

Daniel reached out and pressed a hand over Johnny’s hand on the table and he stiffened a little bit before relaxing again, “We can ask Uncle Adrian any question and if it isn’t some place where you are going to be able to talk to us then we won’t go. And you are not going to be separated from Greer forever; you can keep the device to speak to your friend whenever you want to. I promise, you are going to be fine and you won’t be alone.”

Johnny nodded and walked away from the table, into the living room with the others. Jack watched as his son grabbed something and walked back upstairs and he sighed as he turned to Jack, “This decision isn’t going to make everyone happy,” he said finally.

Daniel shrugged, “I think we have to do it anyway.”

Jack nodded and they fell silent.

 

*          *          *

Johnny walked upstairs and pulled out the communicator and activated it. Greer answered immediately, “JJ how are you?” he asked with a grin.

Johnny wished he was able to speak straight into his friend’s mind but at the distance he wouldn’t be able to and he knew that but he missed having Greer in the back of his mind, a comforting presence to him. He missed the missing part of his soul. He used his hands instead, _‘I hate that I cannot speak to you telepathically.’_

Greer sighed as he translated what Johnny was saying and he smiled sadly, “You’re going to be fine JJ, tell me what’s going on.”

_‘We are not returning home, we are going to some place that Uncle Adrian and Aunt Demi made where they do not use magic to live and function, they are doing it for Zale and I am losing every bit of comfort by going there as well. I miss you Greer.’_

His hands ached from the angry words were translated from his thoughts to his hands and Greer read them and his face. He frowned and held his hand out in the hologram and Johnny wished he could touch his friend. Greer had been his best friend for his whole like and he wished that all this stuff with Zale wasn’t destined to keep him from a world where he was getting the help that he needed. They all needed magical training, not a complete disregard of it.

 _‘Daddy and Papa are making a mistake and I have to live with it.’_ He finally signed and Greer gave him a sympathetic look, one that spoke of someone who lived with parents and Johnny knew he had nothing to complain about compared to Greer being the son of the Queen but his friend didn’t say anything about that, instead he smiled, “Maybe it will be good for you guys, my mother is getting worse and I don’t want to see you get dragged into the war that is coming here. I want you to be safe. Maybe I could go with you, tell my mother that I need to work on living without my powers, you know how worried she is about the time traveling.”

Johnny nodded then shook his head, _‘If you go with us, my fathers will feel threatened by your mother’s possible presence. She has already caused pain and hurt by coming here and yelling at Zada and telling Zale that he should not cage his Magis.’_

They had long ago come up with words for Magis and so on, the words that had no basis in the English language, they had become secret symbols in Greer and Johnny’s sign language, something that only the two of them used much anymore. Daddy spoke to Johnny in the language as well, helping to keep Johnny speaking it but with Johnny’s use of telepathy most of his siblings didn’t keep up with the skill. It was something that the young mute had to admit, hurt him a little bit.

“What if I run away?” Greer said with a wink, I can force the issue and get sent to you, it would not take much especially since my sister has been pinged for the Queenship, I am just another Prince.”

Johnny shook his head; _‘You were always more to me.’_

“I know Johnny,” Greer returned with a smile, “We are going to figure this out okay. Do not do anything drastic okay?”

Johnny made a rolling gesture with his finger as if to say, ‘yeah yeah’ before they discussed other things. He talked about how scary it was knowing that the magic had forced Zale to make the decision that he had made, how scary it was that Johnny had considered it more than once especially in the last couple of months, especially after seeing an immense battlefield, hundreds of dead bodies and among them was his Papa and Johnny had woke up with sweat covering him and his heart thumping so fast he worried it would rupture and when he got up and heard Zale screaming and crying in his parents’ bedroom he turned back and curled down under his blankets and wishing to go back to sleep.

“Hey Johnny,” Greer called as his sign language slowed and his hands dropped. “Did you ever think that maybe going to this place might be really good for you too, a lot of the people who stay at Adrian’s place are people who are learning to control and tell the difference between their powers and reality? There might be someone there who is able to help you with the influx of visions.”

Johnny nodded, _‘I guess I have chosen to be angry in the belief that I cannot be helped without giving up all of my magic.’_

Greer smiled, “I understand. Like I said, please leave the drastic decisions to my mother and your parents, stick close to your family and keep in touch okay?”

Johnny nodded and he pointed to himself with a jerk of his thumb, then pointed to Greer then rubbed his closed fist over his heart, something close to ‘sorry’ but because it was going in the opposite direction, it was the sign for love. He’d loved Greer like family for a long time and he didn’t want to hide it anymore. He wanted the other boy to know what he meant to Johnny. Greer nodded and smiled, “I know Johnny, I will speak to you again soon.”

He put the communication device back into his pocket and flopped back down on the bed and waited, undoubtedly a parent would come and talk to him about all this if he stayed away. Dad and Papa were so amazing, they loved all their children so much and it was something that they had never left to chance. He got to the point that he depended on the way they loved him, Greer meant a lot to Johnny but honestly, the way Daddy and Papa had loved him for so long, he needed to know that was going to continue even if he was mad at them.

He closed his eyes and sank into the visions, the ones that were always just beneath the surface and he moved through them quickly until he sank deep enough into the worst one, the one that said Zale was going to die if he didn’t figure this thing out with his magic. Zale and Zada were tapped to fight and he thinks they are a few years older than they were at the moment and the fact that Zale had no power did not stop him from being called into battle. They were all running into battle, against a force of hundreds of fighters, all dressed the same, making the vision seem more like a dream. Even without his powers, Zale was a formidable warrior and he raced into battle with an anger that spoke of pain and death, all the rage he needed to fight against the never-ending forces of Zarcorp then someone hurled magic at him and Zale had no defensive abilities and he tried to use them anyway. The magic hit him and he dropped to his knees, as Zada shouted in the distance as she ran towards him then the warrior was there and the sword was thrust through the center of Zale’s chest and Johnny felt when his heart stopped beating. He knew this was a different world from the one where he’d seen Papa die and he knew without a doubt that he was seeing different futures, depending on the decisions those people made. He couldn’t be around the Queen because the visions he say when he was around her anymore were visceral and they always included people dying, people he cared about and he got into the habit of just leaving the room when she walked in, it was to much and he needed to know how to deal with it. Maybe Greer was right, he had a habit of seeing the world a little more clearly than Johnny did sometimes without the haze of fear that Johnny tended to exist in.

The knock startled him out of the vision and he come to the surface slowly, and found Daddy standing at the door, looking worried and like he wasn’t allowed into the room with Johnny’s permission. He frowned and waved his father in with a grimace.

“I’m sorry Johnny,” Daddy said before he even had a chance to think of what to say.

 _“Why?”_ He asked telepathically.

“I didn’t know how much you were struggling, that you were hurting too and I am ashamed that for the first time in your life I allowed the genetics of you guys to make me stupid. I have no excuse for missing the signs that you were hurting and the only thing I can ask is that you scream as loud as you need to so we can be here for you too. I don’t really know what else there is to say about this though without giving you excuses for my behavior and I truly have none.”

Johnny frowned but this kind of response was not something that was unrecognizable to him, Daddy took everything to heart and he felt guilt about things that he is not responsible for. He believes he should be perfect for them and when he wasn’t it was a failing. Johnny had heard his Papa talk this out with Daddy all the time and repeating it back in his mind was easy because it was that familiar.

_“I chose not to talk you and Papa, I chose to keep everything to myself. That is not your fault. I love you and Papa and though I am angry at the idea of not returning to the Valley soon, it is not my choice to make and I only see myself losing Greer and the ability to talk to all of you if the use of magic is a problem in this new place.”_

“You’re angry about this and you should be, I promise we can ask Adrian anything you are concerned about, you can ask him anything before we say yes. Maybe I’m being selfish making sure that we do this but Johnny, the queen is acting irrationally and that is just as much of a problem as everything that is concerning your Pop and me. I don’t really think the Valley is safe anymore, this new place won’t be perfect but its something different and we’ll be together.”

Johnny nodded and wondered what he was supposed to do or say about any of this, he’d said what he needed to say and Dad wasn’t going to do anything to purposefully hurt him but it wasn’t ever going to be about him alone. And if Dad thought this was the right thing to do then he would trust in the parent that loved.

Dad reached out and pressed a hand over Johnny’s and the child looked up, “I promise you that you are not being kept from your best friend, I promise you that we are going back to the Valley at some point and I promise you that I will not allow us to go somewhere that will take away your ability to talk to us, okay?”

Johnny knew they were just words but it was Daddy saying them and he knew that he was only human but he believed him because Daddy didn’t make promises lightly and when he did he would rather die than not keep them.

It wasn’t a hard choice to sit up and wrap his arms around his father and soak up the warmth of his body and his love because he knew that it was a sad thing that Zale wouldn’t be able to feel that for a while but the skin-on-skin contact of his hand across Daddy’s neck allowed him to feel the love and the desire to be okay and for his children to be safe, happy and loved.

 _“I love you Daddy,”_ he whispered to his father and Daddy’s arms tightened imperceptibly around him for a moment before he let go and Johnny sat back down on his bed. Daddy smiled and Johnny saw the sunshine in his smile, something he’d only heard about in their story but when Daddy was happy it was so easy for the rest of them to feel it, like a super nova demanding to be seen and experienced.

“I love you too JJ, so much, just come down when you want to okay? Take all the time you need for this and we love you whether your mad about this or happy about it and sadly if Papa and I feel like its what we all need, we are going but I hear what you’re concerns are and I will try to let you know that they won’t be a problem hopefully.”

Johnny nodded and watched as his father walked out of the room, the silence was calming and there was a comfort in having a moment without the other siblings all around him. He’d heard the story how his fathers ended up with more children than they had planned on, that they implanted both Desire and Lust and ‘rolled the dice’ since they were not using fertility spells and anything special but both women ended up pregnant anyway and though Daniel and Jack had not been prepared they had done the best they could with five children, and Johnny loved his sisters and brothers so much. He wanted to stay with them but he missed Greer already so he hoped they would have a chance to travel back to the Valley before they moved on to this next place.

He would ask, that was all he could do.


	11. Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to go home an figure out their next step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, Camp Nano took over for the month. I am hoping to be finished with this installment soon. I have several chapters to upload. :)

Daniel walked downstairs again and found the rest of the children settled around the living room, coloring in books and playing games. Zale was sitting with Malachi between his legs and helping his little brother to stand and walking a few steps back and forth in front of him.

Jack turned and smiled as Daniel walked into the room. He nodded then motioned towards the kitchen. Jack nodded and walked after Daniel and sat down at the table while Daniel leaned against the counter.

“You okay?” the retired General asked, reaching his hand out across the expanse of the room but Daniel just wrapped his arms around his chest.

“Johnny’s angry but he understands but we need to ask some questions before we make the final decision. I don’t know what to do Jack, I don’t think I can pick Zale over Johnny and there is nothing we can do that doesn’t hurt one of them.”

Jack stood up just as quickly as he sat down and walked over to Daniel, pulling a hand into his and Daniel couldn’t help the thundering heart in his chest and the aching in his chest from the labored breathing. He couldn’t handle the fact that his decision could harm his children and he didn’t know if he would be able to deny the need they had to leave.

“We need to return home; to ask Adrian some questions and let them relax a little bit there isn’t anything we can do here. I think this vacation is over.”

Jack pulled him into a hug and Daniel let him, more than happy with the closeness, which was fighting off the feelings of inadequacy he was suddenly feeling. They had been lucky up to this point, having to make decisions for their children had always seemed so simple but now because some survived and thrived on the magic and another one was going crazy because of it meant that they were bound to make bad decisions for one or the other. And it would only continue to get harder as Malachi grew up and it became more apparent that his needs were going to be different than that of his siblings who were raised with magic. It would separate the children, it would make each relationship different and Daniel didn’t want to think that to protect his eldest son, he would have to ignore the request of his younger son.

“We’re going to be okay Daniel; we are all going to be okay. We will pack up tonight and head home in the morning, Johnny can talk to Greer and spend some time decompressing from what he was dealing with and not telling us about. We’ll just relax for a week, talk to Adrian and make our decision. We’ve had a good time here, it was a good choice to come here and stay here Daniel but what comes next; we are going to have to make the best possible choice and deal with the consequences either way. We have six children and we have to count for something as well, if this is what we need or at least the best decision then that’s what we do. That’s what parents do every time they make choices, they do the best they can and let go of the idea of doing this thing perfectly because we won’t ever be able to do that and we can’t make decisions on being their best friends and the awesome parents, we have to protect them even from themselves sometimes. We will deal with the rest.”

Daniel nodded and sighed because he wasn’t alone and Jack taking charge every once in a while gave him the clarity of thought that he needed to make the decisions he needed to make but couldn’t without his husband’s help. Jack was the other part of the equation, the part that was the hard-assed professional who could make cold hard decisions based on the facts and though he would never be unfeeling towards his children, Jack was capable of those thought processes that Daniel couldn’t seem to grapple with especially now when he was struggling with who had the greatest need.

He hoped against hope that what Johnny saw about Jack would not come to pass ever but he knew that was stupid and short-sighted, they were going to die and all Daniel could really hope for was that when it happened he would be ready to keep on surviving and living for their children. For now though Daniel was going to pretend that he didn’t have to think about that, Jack was healthy and safe. And Daniel had every intention of keeping it that way for as long as possible.

“Daniel are you with me here?” Jack asked gently and he shook himself from the reverie that was quickly turning into a merry-go-round of crazy-making thoughts.

He nodded, “Yeah Jack, I’m here.”

“Are you going to remember that you need to be taken care of too?” he asked and Daniel rolled his eyes and glared at his smirking annoying husband for a minute.

“You take care of me Jack, and I take care of you and we take care of the children,” he grumbled because it was something they agreed on a long time ago but Daniel couldn’t forgive himself if his selfish need to get some perspective hurt one of his children. Especially Johnny, he was one on of the kindest and sweetest souls Daniel had ever had the pleasure of knowing and the one time he had the courage to ask for what he needed, Daniel was going to deny him it because he needed a break.

Jack was suddenly in front of him, gripping his upper arms and shaking him a little bit and Daniel bit his tongue because of it so he shoved Jack in the chest, “Dammit Jack!” The man didn’t move to far back and he did not release Daniel.

“Danny, you’re not listening, you’re spinning. So in reference to your earlier statement, I think you need to go lay down or maybe go and pack, or go play with your children but standing and convincing yourself in all the ways why you don’t deserve to be taken care of too is not okay. Nap, packing or kids, pick one?”

Daniel pressed a hand over his mouth to rub the pain out, sticking his fingers inside to see if there was blood while he kept glaring at Jack. The retired General just held onto him and raised his eyebrow.

“Fine I am going to go take a nap,” Daniel griped, picking the nap mostly because he didn’t get very much sleep and he didn’t want to spin out around the other children who would sense it. He pulled his arms away from Jack and turned to walk upstairs when Jack reached out and pulled him back. Daniel smiled for a second before Jack’s lips pressed to his in a light kiss. Daniel walked away, much less annoyed and suddenly weary and realized in that moment how often he’d been pulling himself together with no sleep and reeling from one crisis to the next and he heaved a sigh as he flopped down on the bed, kicked off his shoes and rubbed his face as he curled up on his side. He hated sleeping in the bed without Jack, it always seemed so big and he was so small and chilled by the loneliness of it. He tried to shake it off as he closed his eyes and faded into a half awakened state but it was enough to drag him down in the body warmed bed beneath him and the covering that appeared over him at some point, Jack did it all the time so there was nothing to panic over. Daniel had a tendency to sleep without blankets on, especially when he was exhausted like this. Jack knew him well enough to check so Daniel slept on knowing that he was safe in this place with the laughter of his children downstairs and the loving kindness of his husband, the world nonexistent beyond the lids of his shuttered eyes.

When Daniel’s eyes opened again he realized he wasn’t alone in the bed, there was a warm body curled into his side. He groaned at the simmering headache at the back of his neck from sleeping a little too long, it would undoubtedly subside when he got up and started moving around, maybe find some of the Vannas coffee that was around here somewhere. There wasn’t much of it but he hadn’t had all of it yet.

He looked down to see that it was Johnny curled up in a ball next to him and Daniel smiled a little, feeling the tiny pinpricks of tears at the corner of his eyes at the knowledge that he was holding his son and they were together when they were both feeling stretched thin and uncomfortable and scared. Daniel couldn’t stop his hand from slipping over the boy’s head and sank his fingertips gently into the dirty blonde tresses of the boys mop of curls. Daniel loved this kid so much, he was so much a part of Jack. He watched Jack with this boy and he knew that this boy reminded Jack of Charlie so much and that made him all the more precious because he was special and sweet and he deserved to be a kid a little bit longer than he got. Maybe Daniel’s decision would help and maybe it wouldn’t but he knew he would have to make the decision and he couldn’t leave it up to Zale and Johnny, it was up to Jack and Daniel. With that in mind Daniel tucked the boy even closer, listening as Johnny snuffled into the edge of Daniel’s arm and sleeve and the sound was so close to Jack’s snuffle-snore when he was desperate to be close and breathing in Daniel’s scent. Daniel leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Johnny’s head and resettled so they could sleep if they needed to.

Daniel dozed for a little while longer, breathing in tandem with Johnny until someone leaned down on the side of the bed and Daniel turned towards them just as Jack leaned down and pressed a kiss to the side of his head, “Sleepyhead, its time for you guys to eat some dinner. If you need to go right back to sleep that can be arranged but we need to check in with the Valley about a teleporter coming to get us.”

Daniel nodded vaguely, knowing all the words that were coming out of his husband’s lips but he didn’t quite grasp them. Jack chuckled and helped Johnny to sit up then he heaved Daniel upwards as well. He groaned and held on as the vertigo of sudden movement attacked and he pressed against the side of his head and give his temple some rolling pressure, trying to alleviate the feeling. Jack rubbed his lower back while Daniel got a hold of himself then they were wandering down the stairs, Jack’s hands still on Daniel’s shoulder. The rest of the children were already eating, looking at Daniel in concern and Johnny wasn’t looking at anyone, even though Zale waved at him.

Daniel heaved a sigh and forced a smile, which wouldn’t fool anyone so he ate and started a conversation in Latin, it was an old favorite and required no work for smooth transition and Jack just watched and listened, he knew plenty of languages now, he would have to be deaf and stupid not to learn some of what Daniel had been teaching the children over the years and Jack wasn’t any where near stupid but he just never wanted to take part and that was okay. Jack loved to watch them when Daniel was in language mode. More recently the language they had been learning was Arabic and they were doing well but this was still a vacation and Daniel was going to return to Arabic when they got home.

And in some ways he was glad they were going home before they did anything else, they all needed some time, he wanted to see Ben and visit with Sam and talk things out with her, Sam was his best friend and he knew their leaving had hurt her in ways that he didn’t even understand and he didn’t need to apologize for doing what was necessary for his children but he did want to clear the air and talk to her about whether or not she and Teal’c should leave for an extended stay elsewhere as well. Adrian didn’t seem concerned for Teal’c and Sam’s family, but that could very well be because he had a much stronger bond with Jack and Daniel and their family.

“So what’s the plan then?” Daniel asked Jack in English when there was a lull in conversation and Daniel wondered about the lull for a moment while Jack finished eating what was in his mouth. The children were waiting for a decision, stuck in limbo until Jack and Daniel made that decision and he knew his babies well enough that the limbo was uncomfortable for them.

“I used Johnny’s communication stone to see if someone would come and get us in the morning, so we just need to pack up and clean up the house. We’re heading home, then we go from there when we have the information we need to make the decision.”

“But we are mostly likely leaving the Valley again?” Zada asked, her gaze swinging from Jack to Daniel rapidly.

Daniel nodded because he didn’t have anything else right now, he needed a break, Zale needed a break and clearly the queen needed a break from having them under foot. It took a lot of guts for Adrian to call into question his sister’s rule and her ability to distinguish what she should be doing but he did it because he loved them. Daniel knew it would be short sighted to not honor the information given so bravely. If Akina was as far off as Adrian believed, she could technically declare what Adrian had shared was an act of treason and then they would all be in danger. It was strange to think after all the years of being here that there were laws and rules that they had been lackadaisical about for a long time and now they were seeing some of the consequences for that cavalier attitude. Daniel hoped it wouldn’t hurt them any more than it had to.

“Daddy, you’re scared,” Zada stated and he looked over to her. She didn’t ask a question and she wasn’t touching him, there was no magical reason for her to know that, she just did. He thought about all the times they had placed too much on their Z-twins shoulders and knew in some ways he had taken their self-sufficiency to heart and allowed them to help too much.

He didn’t have to put this on them but he knew that hiding what he was feeling would only make it worse, Daniel pulled himself together and took a deep breath, “You know what baby, that may be true but you don’t need to take care of me okay? We’ll figure all this out. Maybe there is a reason we are going to end up in this new place for however long we are there for but I don’t know that and I can’t. Papa and I can only do the best we can for all of us with the information we have. Okay?”

Zada nodded and smile sadly, Daniel leaned forward and took her hand for a minute then Jack cleared his throat and they all decided to go their separate ways and pack. Daniel and Jack stayed in the kitchen and started cleaning out all the refuse and cleaning up the detritus from dinner. He knew someone maintained this cabin, much like a safe house since that’s what it was but they did their part to make sure it was better than when they came here.

Daniel was cleaning and drying the dishes while Jack cleaned around the table and fussed around Malachi. He smiled while Jack continued making faces and fighting with the broom in his hand, listening to the delighted sounds coming from his son. And he just let go of everything else, it could wait. Right now, remembering that his family was alive and safe enough to be agreeable or angry about the decision they were about to make. They were all here and he didn’t need to worry about the rest for one night. It would be there tomorrow.


	12. I Told You So

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen Zarkina comes to see them.

Jack woke the next morning, wrapped around Daniel’s body, one arm around his shoulder, under Daniel’s neck and his fingers immediately started skating along the edge of his bare shoulder. His other hand was resting on his chest and Daniel’s hand was pressed against his chest, clasped gently under Jack’s hand. He loved waking up like this, pressed up against Daniel’s body, though Daniel rarely ever stayed that way, especially in the morning so they had either repositioned in early morning without waking or Daniel woke up and pressed himself close or Daniel had been so exhausted that he didn’t moved during the night. After seeing him after his afternoon nap, Jack was positive that the third was the reason way. Jack squeezed him a little before he pressed a kiss to Daniel’s forehead and listened as his husband stirred and mumbled a little. “Danny, you want me to go get breakfast ready so you can get the children out of bed?”

Daniel grumbled and tried to turn over to throw the pillow over his head but Jack chuckled and pulled the pillow away. “No Jack, I don’t want to go back.”

“I know love, we have to though.”

Daniel grunted, “I know. I’ll get the kids going.”

“Yeasureyoubetcha,” he sing-songed before he sat up and watched as Daniel thumped over on his other side so Jack pushed the blanket to the bottom of the bed, enjoying the view of Daniel’s naked chest and the soft pants he wore to bed. They formed to his legs and Jack could make out the semi-erection he was sporting, he knew they weren’t going to do anything and it would go down. He knew that someone was going to be here in a short while to pick them up. They were traveling back in their pajamas and changing when they got back to the house so Jack leaned down and smacked Daniel lightly on the butt and he jerked up and looked over to glare at Jack.

“You got to get up to get the kids going Danny,” he said with a grin, not kowtowed by Daniel’s glare one small bit.

Daniel rolled his eyes then crossed to Jack’s side of the bed, surprising the retired General as he started grabbing Jack around the thighs. Jack pressed his hands over Daniel’s to keep them from wandering to his suddenly very interested penis but he just grunted and dragged Daniel to his feet. Daniel reacted by pressing one of his hands around the back of Jack’s head and pulling him in for a deep open-mouthed kiss. Jack couldn’t have denied him that if someone was paying him to, he just dove into the kiss and moaned at his husband for a moment then realized this was undoubtedly some ploy to keep from being ready to go home so he tugged away as Daniel tried to chase after him for another kiss, their cocks brushing up against each other causing Jack to moan and take another step back, he turned an just walked out of the bedroom leaving Daniel standing there to do whatever he was planning on doing. Jack knew they were going home whether Daniel had second thoughts or not and he would wake the children if he needed to but he figured Daniel would do his part as soon as Jack wasn’t there to distract him anymore. He really wanted to go get Malachi but knew that Daniel would love to start the day with their youngest so he just walked downstairs and got some meat cooking on the hot surface of the stove and started a small pot of the ‘coffee’ that Daniel had brought with them, he’d only had it a handful of times since they had been there so it would be good for him, especially feeling as stretched thin emotionally as he was right now.

Then he sliced some bread, warmed it into toast and put some kind of butter substitute that someone had made for them, it was a little on the sweet side and he didn’t know why but it was good with breakfast. He also had eggs that he was going to scramble, had no intention of trying for anything more complicated than that for all the kids and Daniel, his husband probably wouldn’t have more than toast and coffee anyway. Not when he was this stressed already, Daniel on his best day wasn’t a breakfast person anyway.

Zale and Johnny were the first down, looking sleep warm and mumbling, not quite awake yet. The girls were close behind and they all consumed their food with quiet dedication and everyone watched as Daniel came in, holding Malachi close with one hand on his head and the other under his butt. It was hard to stem the need to walk over and hug Daniel, he looked so tired and unbearably sad, there was nothing he could do though besides get his family back home. They wouldn’t know more until they did so, but this limbo and worry was clearly more than a little difficult on Daniel in a way that Jack needed to delve into because he didn’t understand it at all.

Maybe they could see Erica before they went to this other place, get some of her help with what they had been going through. They had talked about doing that, not ignoring the need they had to work through some of their painful stuff especially since Malachi and the fire, everything and everyone else had seemed so much like a priority and now Daniel was wavering and sad, he didn’t seem like he knew how to function somehow because of this new development and his personal desire to have some distance, and in making that decision is he being selfish and not doing what he needed to do to make sure the children were all okay.

Jack could understand the sentiment though he wasn’t as bogged down by it as Daniel seemed to be. And it was even more apparent when the door opened and Akina walked in and crossed her arms saying mulishly, “I told you that you should not have stayed here.”

Jack groaned and watched as Daniel glared at one of his best friends in this time and he didn’t know if he was brave enough to get in between them. Plus, he figured Daniel didn’t need his help, especially when he snapped back, “Are you here to take us home or here to say I told you so? Because if it’s the second one then you can just take your royal pain in the ass back in the Valley and we’ll call someone else.”

Akina gaped at him and Jack’s eyes widened in shock, everyone else stone silent in shock except for Malachi who started whimpering because of the heavy emotions around him. Daniel just wrapped the robe around his body tightly, the motions in a jerking annoyance rather than pain and hurt. Though Jack was sure some pain was hiding under the edges of the pissy mood Daniel was portraying at the moment. The queen glared back but finally relented with hands in the air in surrender. “I am here to take you back to your house and there is apparently some guests outside that have decided to go with you as well. I think it is Snow and Chrome; they both want to return to the island with you. I do not mind if they are there, especially since Taj and his family had never been a problem but it seems like they have latched onto you so please keep them from eating any of my people otherwise I would have to put them down.”

Daniel looked at Jack and he nodded, they had lived with the big cats before and they never were a problem, they hunted for their own food but would also eat off of the dinner table scraps and they were helping.

“Then shall we go?” Akina asked.

They quickly cleaned up and gathered their stuff while Akina wandered around the living room, touching things like this place meant something to her and to be honest, they didn’t know what this place meant to anyone. They had just used it when offered.  Jack helped Daniel in the bedroom then they piled everything close, and then followed the quite sullen queen out to the front of the house where the two large cats were sitting patiently waiting for them. Zada and Zale immediately walked over to them and scrubbed them around the ruff of their necks and they both started purring loudly.

They grabbed their bags, grabbed each other’s hands and with a still-memorable dip that made Jack nauseous after not feeling it for over two weeks came and went, faster than a blink and they were in the backyard of their home. Jack nodded to Akina who gave them all a two-fingered salute, something she undoubtedly picked up from him before she disappeared again. Daniel slumped, holding Malachi in his arms so Jack took the baby as they all trudged inside the house and headed straight for their bedrooms. No one said anything, a bizarre thing in the Jackson-O’Neill house. Jack wanted to tell them something, anything just to break the pall that settled over all of them but he didn’t want to force it. Jack and Daniel headed to their bedroom on the second floor, Johnny walked down to his room while the twins, Zada and Zale walked up to the third floor. He wondered for a minute where his dad was hiding but it didn’t matter, he was too tired and strung tight to talk anyway. Malachi was still in his arms and Jack didn’t want to let him go so he didn’t. Daniel threw his stuff in one of the corner of the room before he flopped back down on the bed and looked over at Jack and Malachi with a sad smile clinging to his lips an cheeks. Jack leaned down and pressed another kiss to his head and passed Malachi back to him, Daniel murmured to their son.

“I am going to check things out, put him in the crib if you need to,” Jack said and Daniel nodded as he stared at Malachi in the reining silence of the room. Malachi was slapping his hands together quietly then pressing them to Daniel’s chest in the baby version of patty-cake and Jack pressed his hand to the back of his son’s head before he walked out of the room and took the stairs quickly. He walked into the kitchen, finding only a few things out of place from his dad being here on his own but Ben O’Neill was neat as a pin and didn’t suffer fools or messes.

He opened the door to the basement where Ben had decided to make his home so he would be able to have a life without disrupting a house with a baby and vice versa. Jack had never wanted to go back to living with family but he thought of all the times Daniel had been loved by Ben, supported by Ben, all the times his father had loved on their children and figured the sacrifice of privacy from his father was worth it.

“Pop? You down there?” he called out but heard nothing, there was no movement making him think that his father was out somewhere and he wouldn’t know where to begin except next door. He walked to the backyard and found the two cats; Chrome and Snow just lying together in the backyard and he rubbed their heads and sides as he walked past them to the path leading towards the next house over. He walked through the gate, along the path and then the gate leading into Teal’c and Carter’s house. He knocked, wondering how Carter would deal with them being back for a short time. He knew that Daniel forgave her stupidity and wanted to remain friends but it had marred their relationship.

The door swung open and Teal’c stood there, looking quietly pleased by his guest, “O’Neill? You have returned from your vacation?”

“Just did T, how’s it going over here?” he asked, his hand rising in a negligible wave.

“It is well O’Neill. And how was your trip?”

Jack smiled, grateful for the ease of this relationship, “It was interesting that’s for sure. Look T, I would love to catch up later but for now, I am just wondering if you know where my father is? He’s not at the house right now.”

“He is not here and neither is Jacob, they both may be at the arena, they like to make wagers on the fighters.”

“Of course they do,” Jack said with a laugh and the sound seemed to draw Carter from some place within the house like a moth to the flame. She smiled as she came around Teal’c to see Jack, “You’re back,” she exclaimed unnecessarily as she leaned in and hugged him. Jack patted her back a couple of times before she stepped away from him. “How was the rest of your vacation?”

“Oh you know, same old… Zale gave up his powers, Johnny is angry and not talking about his issues because he’s worried about his brother, Daniel is barely holding and hey—we adopted two big cats again.”

Carter frowned at him, “Where’s Daniel at now? Can I speak to him?”

“Not right now, he’s resting with the baby. I was just looking for my dad.”

Carter’s concerned expression rapidly changed to one of pain and Jack flinched at the sight of it, there was a time when Carter wouldn’t have even had to ask and he didn’t want to be the buffer between the two but Daniel wasn’t up for even the best of company at the moment. Maybe they all needed some sort of counseling, it seemed like they weren’t capable of dealing well with anything these days, making him also wonder if Teal’c was struggling as well.

“We can all hang out later; Daniel and I just need to sleep in our own beds for a little while first, talk to you guys later.” With that, he turned and left the porch so they couldn’t pull him into any more talking with questions, there was nothing else he could do right now and nothing he wanted to do except go back to sleep with Daniel. He watched his feet, down the path and through the gates and back into his house, heading for the stairs again. He should check on the rest of the children but it was like the last couple of weeks came crashing down on him and he didn’t need to wonder how tired Daniel was, because he felt it too. What Zale and Johnny were going through, there was no end in sight, dealing with the choice that was laid before them was daunting and they would have to make it soon to be of help to Zale and Daniel because the longer they stayed here, the easier it would be to make them stay. His students would pull Daniel back, they would all be pulled back in by the people and the conflict they faced. Daniel would want to help, Jack would need to help if things were getting worse and their children would suffer, this was the reason Adrian had tried to give them a way out, to keep them together and sane. Jack wasn’t willing to sit back and watch it happen.

But for a little while, all he wanted to do was remind him of what he was fighting for. He needed to remind himself that Daniel wasn’t going anywhere. Unsurprising, he found Daniel asleep in the bed, Malachi sitting up in his extra crib in the corner and Jack couldn’t help but lift him and take him over to the bed and settling down next to his husband. No matter what Daniel thought, they had choices and they were going to have to deal with the consequences but they did indeed have a choice in what they were going to do next.

All they had to do was choose.


	13. Running Away from Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny needs more than sleep after they returned home.

Johnny waited in his room, sitting cross-legged on his bed while Papa settled down to sleep with Daddy. He didn’t have any desire to go back to sleep, he needed to go see Greer, they hadn’t been away from each other this long in years and he hated it. He understood with clarity that he didn’t want at his young age but had either way, the knowledge of that one simple fact that he didn’t know how to live without Greer and he didn’t want to be cured of it. The Prince was his best friend, confidant and partner in crime and though he was older than Zale and Zada, he didn’t care because they connected on a level that meant little when it came to stupid matters such as age and gender. He knew there was going to be hard times over the years because of it but he didn’t care.

Johnny missed his friend and he was going to see him.

When he heard nothing else besides the soft sounds of his parents breathing together, he snuck out of his bedroom, closing the door softly behind him and walking quickly by his parent’s bedroom, he breathed a quick sigh because the door was mostly closed and no one called out for him to stop. He walked quickly down the stairs and headed towards the front door when he heard someone clearing their throat and he turned, crouching quickly to grasp the blade from his waist just as the person snickered and he looked over towards the back door to see it was Greer. At fourteen he was much more man than a boy much like Zale and Zada, he stood at about five feet, over a foot taller than Johnny’s much smaller body and though he was slender there was muscle definition from his time in sparring and strength training, something that Johnny would start doing in a little over two years and he couldn’t wait to catch up with his friend, not his siblings but Greer is who he wanted to be strong for. The Prince’s wavy jet-black hair was tied back away from his face and he wore leather pants and a simple shirt with a vest over it. Johnny liked it better when Greer wasn’t all buttoned up like this, when he wasn’t trying to behave himself because surely that’s what his mother, the queen, wanted. Greer was a lot of fun though at the moment he was glaring a little at Johnny who frowned right back, signing with his hands and he spoke to his friend through their minds, _“What are you doing here Greer?”_

“I am here,” he whispered fiercely through the expanse between them, though he moved quickly across the room to pull Johnny close, pressing a warm hand into his shoulder, edging up the side of his neck to cup just under Johnny’s jaw line in a familiar connection while he held the rest of himself at a distance causing Johnny’s glare to shift into a frown of confusion. He wondered why the comforting familiarity was suddenly different, “I am here to see my friend as well as be sure he is not going to do something stupid.”

Johnny didn’t bother with his hands this time, as he flicked Greer’s hand off his shoulder angrily and responded, _“How is coming to see you ‘something stupid’?”_

Greer crossed his arms and grinned, “Because your parents are going to send you to your room and they are going to bar me from seeing you if you pull this stuff and I will be honor bound to heed their wishes until such time they deem I have learned my lesson or you have. Do you want that to happen, especially now when there is a possibility of you being gone even longer? Do you want us to have no contact at all?”

Johnny stepped forward with a heavy sigh, knowing he was obnoxiously right and held open his arms. He didn’t need to leave the house now, Greer was here and he just wanted to be hugged. Greer chuckled a little before he folded his arms around Johnny’s shoulders and they hugged for a minute before they moved into Dad’s workspace and closed the door behind him. Greer moved to sit on the couch that was in the corner and Johnny settled in the spinning chair Dad kept at his desk, some contraption that Dad loved to sit in when he was working or reading and Papa loved to play in when they happened to be in this room for some reason.

He nudged his foot on the leg of the chair, making it rock from side to side but he did not allow himself to look away from Greer as they sat in silence. Then Greer spoke, “I was coming to see you as soon as I knew you were here and safe. I did not want to intrude as I know this time was more difficult than relaxing because of Zale but I had to see you.”

_“Thanks Greer, it has been hard. I don’t know what I’m seeing anymore and everyone is concerned about Zale. He lost his powers and now we’re going to move again so he can be okay. What if I can’t use magic? I am going to lose any chance at communication! Daddy and you are the only ones that kept up with sign language and writing everything down is just not easy. I won’t be heard anymore without magic.”_

Greer nodded slowly, in that way that Johnny understood wasn’t an answer at all. He was thinking of what he wanted to say or ask. Johnny knew him well enough to get the message. Then he frowned and leaned forward, pressing his elbows into his knees and waited for another second, “What have you seen? Anything that has come true recently?”

Johnny stared at the floor; he didn’t like to think of the reruns of the future rolling around in his head. There was nothing he could say, nothing to share that wouldn’t turn him into a blathering idiot because of the fear attached to what was happening or what could happen.

Greer reached out then pulled back a couple inches, as if he didn’t know if he should be touching Johnny. _“What is it?”_ he asked through hands and thoughts, trying to keep the use of his hands easy and strong, if it was going to be his mode of communication, he needed to know he could do it.

“Can I look? Maybe it will help to have another person seeing it, even if it is just to give you an outside source of information.”

Johnny nodded even as he thought, what do normal ten year olds talk about with their friends? He didn’t think he could ever claim to be normal, though for him premonitions and these kinds of conversations were normal to him. They were normal for all of his siblings and his friends. Their lives were normal, just a different kind of normal.

Then Greer’s hands were pressing into the side of his neck, just under his hair. Johnny pushed into the pressure, wondering if it was supposed to feel good when he felt the zing of connection between Greer and him. Johnny gasped as his friend searched out what he was looking for, all his premonitions were in a special place in his mind, a room that Johnny would go into and hide all of the premonitions so he wouldn’t have to see them again but then someone would do something different, change the outcome of the vision by some minute detail and Johnny would see it all over again. So as their physical bodies stayed where they were stretched across the short distance between the chair and the couch with Greer’s hand connecting them through the space and straining towards the connection, their minds flew into that hidden room in his mind and they stood there looking around at the chaos of small slips of paper, what would have been called post-it notes stuck all over the walls of Johnny’s mind and he shrugged as if to say, ‘who cares’ before Greer started poking around in the drawers and cabinets. If he was looking for some kind of a system he was going to be sorely disappointed.

Greer looked around for a couple of minutes, though Johnny understood that minutes and hours in his mind could be seconds outside of this place so he didn’t worry overly about it. He figured his body would start aching and he would be able to leave once more.

“You just throw everything in here?” Greer asked as he crossed his arms over his chest, surveying the mess they were standing in and surrounded by.

Johnny shrugged though Greer wasn’t looking at him so he spoke, in his mind nothing could stop him from speaking out loud, “What do you think?”

Greer turned in surprise with one of his sweet grins, the ones that were rare. Johnny wondered sometimes how such a young boy, on the edge of adulthood could always look like the weight of the world was pressing him down but Greer looked it. Right now though he just kept on smiling as he turned back to the room, the chaos of it then took a deep breath and started doing something that Johnny had no knowledge to guess what he was trying to fix. There was a rumble and the younger boy realized it was because Greer’s hand on his neck was shaking.

“Greer what are you doing?” he asked sharply.

“I am searching for the newest premonitions you’ve had and thrown in here,” Greer answered distractedly as everything continued to shake. Johnny pressed the heel of his hand into the side of his head as the shuddering grew louder and everything tightened. He felt the space in the room try to implode on itself in a stomach heaving, eyes watering uncomfortable way and finally he reached out and grabbed one of Greer’s hands and jerked him around.

“Stop it!”

Greer stared at him for a moment, his eyes glassy without comprehension then he snapped in and frowned, “I cannot reach your premonitions, Johnny you need to start sifting through these and writing down the important ones. It’s the only way we can start doing something about them.”

Johnny glared at him, “Like the one where my brother is going to die, my father is going to die? Ones like those? I see them every time I close my eyes for a couple of minutes, Greer. I can’t stop the instant replay of their deaths in a thousand different ways, from two weeks from now to a hundred years from now. I see it all!”

Greer stared at him in shock, “Why did you say nothing? Have you talked to anyone about this?”

Johnny shook his head, wrapping his arms around his stomach, struggling to hold himself together in this room. He didn’t know if he could even stay in the room in his mind because he couldn’t stand being where so many times, he’d seen the deaths of his family members to many times. “I can’t stay here Greer, let go.”

Greer’s hand fell away from Johnny’s neck and they snapped out of the little room and he stood up and walked as far away from Greer as he could, wrapping his arms around his stomach, trying not to vomit from experiencing the magic that Greer pushed into his mind without permission. It was a violation, something that Daddy had already been concerned about. The Vannas people, the royal family especially, would do and take as necessary and it was an ugly example of what Daddy had been so concerned about. Greer had taken the liberty of telling him what he should be doing with his powers and actually trying to change something that Johnny wasn’t ready to change. Johnny blinked at the realization, it didn’t stop him from being upset about what was happening with his brother and his parents but he did understand it.

“Why would you do that?” Greer demanded.

Johnny frowned, _“Why would you just take over in my mind, decide what I should be doing with my powers and my premonitions? Is that not what your mother planned to do to my brother and force my fathers’ hands in this move? Why would **you** do that?”_

Greer looked at him, shocked and Johnny couldn’t tell if he didn’t understand what he’d done or if he couldn’t believe he’d done it to his dear friend but Johnny didn’t care either way at the moment. He walked over to the office door and opened it, flinched when he saw Papa standing on the other side, hand raised to knock or open the door.

 _“Papa!? Greer is leaving,”_ he blurted out and Greer cleared his throat, as if to ask what the hell for. Johnny turned, glaring as he pointed towards the front door and waited while the annoyed Prince walked past him then past Papa who watched him leave with a frown on his face, tightening the lines around his mouth into a pinched look.

“We will talk later,” Greer said before he walked out and Johnny rolled his eyes then looked over to where his Papa was still staring between the two of them, bewildered but angry about something. Johnny didn’t have to touch his father to know he was reigning in a desire to say something. He figured he would just take his licks quickly.

_“I’m sorry Papa, I really wanted to see him. He came here and surprised me but I was going to go there if he hadn’t come here.”_

Papa snorted, “Yeah well I guess we should have figured that, I am not down here to punish you for wanting to see your friend though you will ask before you just leave this house, young man.”

Johnny nodded then waited; he didn’t know what else would be angering his father if it wasn’t his desire to see Greer leading to a blatant breaking of the rules. Johnny wasn’t a rule-breaker, so its possible he was getting a easier punishment or conversation because he wasn’t one of the trouble twins, and that was both Zada and Zale sometimes as well as Janet and Claire. Johnny had always wanted to just be good, watching his siblings as they made their parents frustrated and crazy. He just wanted them to not be angry or disappointed in him.

“I came down here and the only reason Daddy isn’t down here as well is he is reassuring the rest of the kids, you screamed across everyone’s minds a little while ago. What did Greer do? Was there any damage?”

 _“Oh,”_ Johnny thought-spoke back and answered as honestly as he could about feelings he’d never had and about an experience that was hard to explain. _“He tried to find premonitions in my vault, it hurt like my head was going to explode and I kicked him out. I was angry and I didn’t realize I had spoken across all the channels.”_

Johnny looked down at his hand, picking at a stray piece of nail rather than look at his father. Papa reached out and took his hands in between his before Papa leaned down and looked up into Johnny’s eyes with a sad smile. “I know you want to be the good kid JJ, you don’t have to be. We are always going to love you. If you want to be angry about the possible move then you can be angry, we won’t stop loving you. Okay?”

Johnny stared at him in open-mouthed shock; he understood now what it was like for his Papa and Daddy when they told them how they were feeling. He had no idea what to say to his father who had guessed so easily what he was thinking and feeling. He hadn’t wanted to honor his feelings, his fears about the premonitions and everything because he couldn’t make more trouble. He believed that his parents wouldn’t have time for his troubles while they were helping Zale and he made the choice to be quiet, mentally as well as verbally.

So he stepped forward and Papa opened his arms and just pulled him in tight as Johnny felt the tightening of his features, the prickle of tears though he didn’t know if they were from anger, sadness or relief. Papa just rubbed his back, up and down in a continuous circuit and Johnny opened his heart and fed all the feelings into his father in a slow but steady thread, like lapping waves on the beach as the shoreline receded. The fear about living through the deaths over and over, the thoughts that it would be better if he didn’t have this power and he should just be the person who cannot talk, they can learn other ways to communicate. He shared a lot of what he’d been hiding, the things that he was scared to share with his parents and even his siblings, the fear that he wasn’t seeing the future and they were only nightmares but also the fear that he was seeing the future and he was going to just keep seeing them all die in hundreds of ways until they finally do die.

“Oh JJ,” Papa spoke, whispering the words into the side of his head and then before he could complain or argue, his father just picked him up and tucked him in close and Johnny wanted to wrap himself around his father so he did. Then he allowed his father to take him back upstairs but walked into Papa and Daddy’s room where Daddy was sitting up in bed, holding and rocking Malachi back to sleep. Johnny watched as his little brother fought off the need for sleep but the soft murmur of Daddy’s voice and the gentle rocking put him to sleep while Papa got into the other side of the bed with Johnny still in his arms. Daddy looked over and smiled, Johnny looked up at his father, the one he had no genetic call to but felt so deeply connected to and loved by. He couldn’t help but smile when Daddy’s hands came close to caress the side of his face before he got up and put Malachi back into his room next door. Daddy returned just as Papa settled Johnny on the center of the bed and they all resettled together and Johnny slept peacefully for the first time in days, comforted by the closeness of his parents, the love he felt seeping from their skin in waves.

He didn’t have to be good for them to love him, he wasn’t a burden to them and for now, that was enough to give him peace.


	14. Seeking Our Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel and Jack tell some harsh truths.

Daniel didn’t like how uncomfortable Jack was about this. They had been going to therapy/counseling sessions for so long and they had done this exact thing so many times over the years, especially in the beginning when Jack was constantly freaking about Zale and Zada getting hurt or killed, thinking that he was going to get them killed. At one point Jack had convinced himself that all of their weapons should be in a chest out on the back porch but then a bunch of their students decided to steal all of them and Daniel had convinced him to put a ‘lock’ on it instead when the twins started toddling around. That didn’t even count when Jack had been cursed, or when he came back from being a prisoner of a Zarcorp camp that had been unbearably cruel to him, they had both been lucky he hadn’t been sodomized by his captors. The list went on and on, and yet right now the idea of counseling with Erica was clearly causing Daniel’s husband a whole gamut of emotional and mental problems.

“What it the matter Jack?” Erica finally asked, especially after Jack’s leg started bouncing and Erica’s gaze had started bopping between the two of them, looking unsure more so than she ever had in the past. Daniel was sure it didn’t have anything to do with the children since they were being cared for at the moment. The twins were taking care of their siblings with the help of Adrian and DK who came over first thing this morning to kick them out to go see Erica.

“I don’t know, it’s strange to think after all these years, that puking out my emotional guts still doesn’t appeal to me,” Jack stated acerbically and Daniel frowned again after his eyebrows were done trying to meet with his hairline in surprise.

“Why are you angry right now Jack?” Erica asked him slowly though Daniel knew that anger was the easy part, Jack hid a lot of other emotions in angry. It was a powerful coping mechanism for him.

Jack glared at her and Daniel wondered why since they had been seeing Erica for years and Jack had been going of his own free will for a lot of those years, trying to learn how to live with the stuff in his past as well as what happened in the more recent times. Maybe they should have been going all throughout the issues with Malachi but they had allowed themselves to get busy enough to just forget about it. They hadn’t had time to go to counseling when Jack had been pregnant or nursing and now maybe they were going to deal with the consequences of that neglect.

“Could be that our Queen and you know better than most how I hate that word, she told us that she was allowing us to take care of Zale because he wouldn’t be useful to her if he didn’t get his magical stuff figured out. She acts as though we have no right to our own children, they are here for her war machine and that’s bullshit!”

Daniel didn’t think he was done so he didn’t say anything, when Jack got on a roll with his emotional stuff there was really nothing to do but get out of the way or be swept up in it. Not to mention, he wouldn’t have to repeat any of the stuff Jack was spouting now which worked well for one of Daniel’s coping mechanisms, just shutting up about how he felt.

“Can you tell me about how you are feeling about Zale personally?” Erica asked.

“He’s our son, I am so glad that he finally asked for what he needed and I am scared for him to not have magical abilities in this world, it seems like a perfectly good way for him to get hurt or killed but he was so much closer to taking himself out that I’m glad that he bottled Xylander. I doubt I could have survived losing him that way, a suicide.”

Erica frowned at the word, a complete 21st century word that had no meaning in this time or with these people. Daniel had never heard of a Vannas committing suicide, he wondered if they had a word for it but she didn’t ask for clarification and instead asked another question, “Are you blaming yourself for any of this?” Erica asked and Daniel’s eyes snapped back to her in surprise but Jack just shook his head.

“No! I am blaming magic and why does he think that he has to keep hurting or being miserable for the greater good?” Jack said, throwing his hands up in clear frustration and Daniel couldn’t handle it.

How did Jack not know, Daniel wondered as his husband fumed and gesticulated wildly and Daniel couldn’t stop his shouted response after a bare two seconds of silence had passed, “Because of me!” he exclaimed tightly, clenching his hands into fists and the knuckles white at the pressure being exerted onto them. Jack was staring at him and Erica was watching them both like there was no reason for this not to be happening, she did that sometimes. She let things play out between them instead of insinuating herself into every aspect of the communication. It was probably why Daniel liked her as much as he did.

“What? Daniel! No!” Jack responded and reached out and offered his hand. Daniel held his hand out as well and placed his palm against his husband’s hand and waited. “Why do you think that?”

“Because it’s the only way I ever knew to live, I gave myself over completely to whatever I knew, he’s my son and he’s really good at the martyr crap just like I am and it was getting him hurt and we didn’t know. You think this just started Jack? If you do then you are acting as dumb as you like people to believe.”

Jack’s eyebrow rose at that rushing verbal attack and Daniel pulled his hand away from Jack’s slack grip, or tried to anyway. Jack tightened his hold immediately, keeping a tight hold on Daniel and he covered his face with his free hand, hiding from the look of shock and anger on Jack’s face.

“I didn’t mean that Jack,” Daniel husked out raggedly.

Jack waved off his words which is such a Jack thing to do, “You are not to blame for Zale’s behavior. They are all individuals and they have forgotten who the parents are and who the children are and so have we. They have all been making choices for themselves for a long time and they shouldn’t be, they shouldn’t have to but the longer we keep letting them the longer its going to continue. Its time to do what’s best for all of them, for all of us but you are not the reason that Zale didn’t talk to us.”

“Do I talk to you Jack?” Daniel asked, suddenly desperate for Jack to know this was the truth. He could feel the magic thrumming in the room like it did when they were in an emotionally charged session because as far as he understood it, Erica took in all the feelings and analyzed them to generate the most healing sessions but frustratingly enough it was through talking that she was able to do this and though it worked at a much faster pace then psychology back home, it wasn’t an instant fix. Magic had never been an instant fix, it just lived on a slightly accelerated rate.

“Of course you talk to me Danny, what’s happening right now? I thought we were here to talk about things since the fire and Zale and Johnny.”

“Maybe we are but there are things I don’t share with you, because I don’t want to make them real and all I can think is that I am not a good father and I taught them to hold it all in and not talk to us because I don’t talk to you as much as I should, I didn’t show them that they could. I haven’t talked about Malachi and the fire, the girls and everything with Zale and now Johnny. If the boys are having this much trouble what are the girls not telling us and why are they not talking?”

Jack stared at him, “We do this together Daniel, if there is a problem then we will work on it together okay?”

Daniel stood and pulled his hand away with a jerk, “No Jack! What if I can’t? What if I don’t know how to share it all with you and them? What if they talk and I find out all along that they blame me for this stuff. We chose to have children with magical women and they don’t live with magical parents and that’s on us!”

Daniel was left in the utterly loud silence of the room, he could feel his jack-hammering heartbeat in his throat and chest, and Jack was sitting stock still like he was afraid of moving and what it would set off. Erica was quiet; holding her little device where she took notes on their sessions but not making any and Daniel turned and started pacing, relieved that he had the space to do so.

“We made a rash decision when we were in love, most couples do Daniel, I don’t regret it. I love our family, there are so many of them that I worry that they don’t all get enough attention but that doesn’t mean I don’t love and want them. They are good things and you’re a good father, your human and that’s okay but that doesn’t mean that this is all on you, we are a part of it but so are they, so is Xylander and Sarafina as well as Desire and Lust, its not down to you. And I am not giving them up to someone else now.”

Daniel stopped pacing at the thought, sitting down abruptly on floor with a thud because if they weren’t the ‘right’ parents for the job, giving them up would have been the next conversation and he can’t believe that something so selfish came out of his mouth. He pressed his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, shaking his head a little, not knowing all of a sudden what to do or say now.

Jack moved from his chair, Daniel heard him especially when he knees creaked and popped with the effort to sit on the floor and wrap his legs on the outside of Daniel’s legs, pressing up close to Daniel’s back and wrapping his arms around Daniel’s body. He welcomed the warmth with a shudder at the sudden chill he felt deep in his skin and bones.

“Jack, tell Daniel what you are feeling about all this?”

Daniel pressed the side of his head into Jack’s head and listened to the rumble in his back as Jack spoke, letting it soak into his body and comfort him, he had an instant and momentary flash back to the moment when Henry was pressed against his back, forcing himself on Daniel but he pushed away the trauma, he knew who was close to him. Thankfully after years of working through the triggers of his assault, they didn’t happen very much anymore but they were more prevalent when he was in a highly emotional state. He knew it wasn’t the best way to deal with it, but it was the easiest way he knew and they didn’t need anymore crap right now.

“I’m scared that you are going to keep on hiding what you’re feeling from me and yourself. I’m scared that you’re not happy with us anymore and I am really freaking scared that you think they are better off with someone else after all the years we’ve had and loved our kids.”

“I don’t know how, after all the years we’ve had together that I still have problems talking to you about this stuff,” Daniel whispered.

“Because we’ve had some crazy shit happening and you are really good at putting the kids first and yourself dead last. Yeah that’s something we trained our kiddos to do subconsciously at the very most and we can’t do anything besides try to teach them something new before its too late but that doesn’t mean that we don’t love them or that we aren’t enough. I understand that fear Danny, you know I do.”

Daniel nodded, pressing his head to Jack’s cheek and neck. “I know Jack, I just wonder sometimes, worry that it will never be enough for them and I wonder if its selfish to think we can be. We aren’t magical and they are.”

“Come on Danny, it’s the same thing as saying they are straight and we’re not or they had a disease and we don’t. It’s not the differences that take us apart; we have to remember the things that bring us together.”

“What about us?” Daniel asked, his throat closing up and making him hoarse.

“What about us?” Jack repeated, shifting to look Daniel in the eye, fear and confusion prevalent in his brown gaze.

“We’re a mess, we haven’t been talking and we are just scrounging around in the dark and hoping for the best,” Daniel responded with a sigh.

“And? So? Therefore? Us being perfect is never going to happen, do you imagine that anyone here is? We are going to do the best we can and trust in our family.”

Daniel sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face, then groaned, “God I am so selfish, we were here to talk about what’s up with you. And my crap just got all over everything,” he said the last with a self-deprecating chuckle.

Before Jack could say anything Erica chimed in, “Actually boys we are here for you both to talk. Can you retake your seats or would you rather have the couple’s seating?” she asked and waved her hand and replaced the two comfortable chairs with a longer couch. Daniel nodded and they got up together, Jack pushing and shoving Daniel into a standing position before he turned around and pulled the older man to his feet. They moved to sit down on the couch and looked over at Erica.

“I believe that is enough for today but I would recommend that we continue the sessions at least every other day for a while, if you do decide to leave then I will refer you to one of my fellow healers in Adrian’s village. I have someone there who is wonderful; she helps those within the small camp through the separation of power and their lives or any number of issues that come up. From this session though there are some things you can start to work on together.”

She didn’t wait for them to say anything before she continued, “Its time for you to both stop hiding things from each other, you have been together for a long time and I understand that you are both strong willed and stubborn but you are parents to some amazing children and you have an amazing partner that is willing to keep fighting for each other. Maybe its time to start to talk to one another again. I believe that neither of you has really dealt with what happened when Malachi was conceived as well as some of the events that happened after. It is also clear to me that Daniel has a lot of guilt and shame, there is this belief that you are not good enough them and that is not something any of us can decide, only you. Jack, you are angry and we have yet to truly gain clarity in why but it is with you. It will stay with you until you can figure out what you are so angry about. You have shared some of your fears, Daniel has shared some of his shame and that’s a wonderful start. Something you can start with is talking to each other about those things; start to speculate when you stopped talking to each other. The rest of it will come, and life will continue to be difficult. The children will be continue to be magical and they will continue to be who they are, there is nothing you can do about that besides accept them for the beautiful creatures that they are as well as do your best to care for them.”

“You want us to talk about our feelings more often?” Jack asked and Daniel wanted to snicker a little at Jack’s put upon expression. Jack was known for being quiet but Daniel knew that Jack had his number for the same thing, Daniel could talk and talk for hours and never say anything really important but if they wanted to keep being there for each other and there children then they would have to continue to do the tough stuff like talking about this uncomfortable stuff.

“And,” Erica started, “You are going to start bringing the children in for sessions. They need this too, you all have gone through so much and even if they say they are fine, they need some extra emotional support as well.”

Daniel nodded, wondering why they hadn’t started doing that anyway but it made perfect sense, if the parents were struggling with something the children could be too.

“I want you to sit down and talk later today or tomorrow about Malachi’s conception and return to me with some of what you spoke about together. We will start there.”

Jack gave her a sloppy two-fingered salute and Daniel nodded to her before turning and they left together and headed for their home. Jack walked with his hands shoved into his pockets and hummed under his breath. Daniel walked, swinging his hands while they walked wondering when they should talk and why was it suddenly so difficult for them. They had been together for over a decade and he didn’t think this had happened suddenly for them, maybe they had gotten so used to talking about the children that they didn’t really talk to each other about their relationship.

It was scary to think that maybe all they had was their past, their children and some semblance of what things used to be like. They were so different to begin with that Daniel sometimes didn’t know how they ever ended up falling for each other.

“I can hear you thinking Daniel; you’re so good at that.”

“Thinking?” he asked, being purposefully obtuse, not knowing if he could really throw himself into an in-depth conversation right now after that scene in counseling.

“Being in your head about things, I had no idea you were still on that ‘we can’t be what they need’ thing. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Daniel shrugged, “It’s hard to feel like a failure or like we are never going to be what they might need or maybe we aren’t now that they are getting older. What happened to Zale was more proof that maybe I was right. I remember just holding him after every nightmare, when he believed beyond a shadow of doubt that one of us were dead and it was his fault,” Daniel wrung his hands together as he spoke, pausing for a second and Jack turned as well while his hands were still shoved in his pockets and Daniel just wanted the comfort that came with Jack’s touch but he didn’t know if he could ask, making him even more despondent. “I don’t know if I could handle that they didn’t know how to function with their powers and so on because we were too worried about sharing the responsibility.”

“Daniel!” Jack shouted and he looked around in shock at the angry tone, Jack hadn’t talked to him like that in a long time. Daniel stared at him, his mouth open and then snapped it closed and wondered what he was going to say. It seemed wrong that he was comforted by Jack’s anger, something that was a part of their early years but hadn’t been for a while. “Daniel,” he said again “We have been letting them train with other people for years, they have worked closely with the King and Queen, not to mention the Greer brothers and Adrian and DK, and we have never held them away from others because we weren’t magical. Have you suddenly forgotten all of this?”

Daniel frowned, honestly that hadn’t really come into his mind, maybe it was the time they had spent at the vacation house or some of the issues they’d been having meant that they didn’t have as much time with their magical teachers, but Jack was right. So why was he so certain they couldn’t do this anymore?

“They’re not little kids anymore Daniel and I know that’s scary and they are starting to make their own decisions and we are starting to see them for who they are. They’re good kids Danny, because of us and the decisions we have made so far and because we knew we couldn’t do it all. We have always worked with the village, you know the one they say it takes to raise a child. We did that Daniel and I am a little concerned that you are forgetting that so easily, thinking you are a shit father and not up the challenge.”

Daniel just stared at him, then looked down and sucked in a deep breath through his nose and wondered what the hell he was supposed to say to that.

“Stop thinking it to yourself Daniel, just talk to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Daniel snapped. “I don’t know what happened to me, I don’t know why I am revising history in my head. I know we have done what we had to for them all their lives; it just doesn’t feel like enough anymore. I don’t think I can keep watching them not be okay.”

Jack suddenly took several steps forward and took Daniel’s hands between his and pressed them against his chest, “I know love, I know what’s its like to want to protect them and seeing them hurting is awful but its something we all have to deal with. It hurts me too when they are hurting, it kills me when you are hurting, just trust that we are going to keep doing our best and that we’ll get through it no matter what.”

Daniel’s eyes welled with tears and he tried to ignore it but couldn’t, the tears were going to fall whether he wanted them to or not and he just wanted Jack to hold him, “Jack, please hug me?”

Jack made a rumbling noise in his throat, it turned into something closer to a growl as he pulled Daniel close and he felt when Jack’s hands fisted into his jacket and shirt, Daniel holding on as tight as he could, shoving his nose into Jack’s neck and breathed him in, the scent of them together that had comingled after so many years of sleeping together and close proximity was as comforting as the tight hold they had on each other. Daniel wondered if he would ever know anymore where one began and the other ended. He didn’t think so. He needed to remember that it was about more than the physical aspect of them, it was about them. He didn’t want to wonder if he could speak up, he didn’t want to wonder if this was a thought that Jack should know.

“Can I tell you something else, something that I don’t know if we’ve ever really dealt with since it happened?”

Jack nodded into the side of his face, pulling back just enough that they could look at each other. “Tell me Danny, talk to me.”

“I raped you,” Daniel spit the words out and his control snapped. He jerked away from Jack and pressed his hands to the sides of his face, into the soft flesh of his temples and the words were too much and the truth of them even more so. He was raped by more than one person, Hathor and Henry to name a few, there were others and the fact that he did that to the man he loved and the man who helped him back after Henry hurt him and they never talked about it.

Jack stood stock-still and his voice was soft when he asked, “What?” His hands dropped to his side.

“We were supposed to talk about what happened when Malachi was conceived, you were dosed with something, I knew you were not acting like yourself and I did it anyway. I didn’t stop when I should have and I hate myself for it.”

Jack frowned again then turned and started walking again, Daniel moved to catch up and thought that this was it, there would never be any forgiveness for it and one of the reasons he’d been hiding from everything and he also made a personal choice that he wouldn’t top with Jack, that’s all there was to it. He wondered if the honesty would cost him everything and he hid it because of that. He’d always cared for Jack, loved him with everything inside of him and this was going to change things. That’s one of the main reasons that they’d had a lot more silence these days. Daniel couldn’t bear to lose him because he’d been weak. That weakness continued into everything they’d been and done since then.

They made it back to the house and Jack walked around the house to the backyard and Daniel followed because he didn’t know what else to do. He hadn’t told Daniel to leave or to walk away and he didn’t want to. Jack moved to sit under one of their larger trees and he motioned to Daniel to sit next to him but he couldn’t do it. He needed to see Jack’s face for this. He settled down, cross-legged in front of Jack and waited.

He didn’t have to wait for long, “That’s bullshit Daniel and I need you to get that right now.”

“No,” Daniel whispered hoarsely, shaking his head, “I knew something was wrong and I did it anyway. It was at best sexual assault. I did everything I could to be there for you and show you how much I loved you and that you would make the choices from now one about he sex stuff but I started hiding from you because I couldn’t deal with what I did.”

“Do you think I raped you, sitting on that log the first time we kissed?” Jack asked and Daniel didn’t just answer, it would only make Jack angry if he didn’t think about it. He remembered them kissing, him sitting on top of Jack and them getting each other off and he smiled just thinking about it and answered honestly, “No I was so happy and we were together and that was everything to me.”

“When you took me that time, gave us Malachi, I don’t think of that as rape or assault. I understand that you are afraid of being that kind of person, like Hathor did to you and countless others and like Henry a couple years ago but that’s not what happened. We were acting out of character for a reason and you were just as high as I was on what Desire did to us. Is this why you stopped talking to me?”

Daniel shrugged and sighed, pressing the heel of his hand into his eye socket where he felt a headache brewing. “I was scared that what we had would be destroyed by what I did. I didn’t want to chance it, I thought after what happened I deserved to not be heard, to not top anymore. I hurt you.”

Jack pointed a finger at him, clearly offended by that, “No Daniel you didn’t. I don’t remember pain, you know before we learned about Malachi anyway and I hope that you can learn to forget about that. Shouldn’t I be the one to decide if I was taken advantage of?”

Daniel shrugged, “I guess I can work on letting that go, if you promise me that we talk about what happened some more, really look at it with Erica.”

Jack nodded, “I promise Danny, now please stop hiding from me and I will do everything in my power to return the favor okay?”

Daniel smiled and nodded, “Can I kiss you?”

Jack nodded and Daniel moved across, pressing his fists into the ground next to Jack’s legs. He quickly closed the space between them and pressed a kiss gently to Jack’s lips, he didn’t hold it for very long, there was no need and they would have more time later to keep talking about this. Daniel wasn’t looking forward to it but at least he’d been honest and Jack hadn’t punched him out.

“Kids?” Daniel asked as he moved away from Jack’s face, his eyes opening to look into Jack’s eyes after the kiss.

“No, kiss me again Daniel and understand that I just want to be close to you again, physical, mentally and emotionally.”

Daniel nodded and scooted even closer, pressing his hip into the space next to Jack’s legs. He settled there, pleased by the warm vitality of Jack sitting next to him and waited as Jack lifted his hand and pressed into the side of Daniel neck and drew him in slowly, like he didn’t know if this was okay.

“I love you Danny, so much and this is what I want. To still have you with me,” Jack whispered and leaned in for another kiss that lasted longer this time; his mouth opening under Jack’s insistence and this one lasted for a couple of minutes before they separated slowly. Daniel smiled and pressed another kiss to the side of Jack’s mouth, then stood up and waited for Jack to follow and they went inside to break the news that Erica was going to want to see them all together. Daniel didn’t know how they would react but he was too tired to worry about it at the moment.

They would just have to wait and see.


	15. Hold Him Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking to the children about counseling, Daniel not dealing

Jack watched Daniel as they moved around each other and the kids. He leaned against the wall in the living room, munching on a vegetable while Daniel paced back and forth. Zale and Zada were shoved in close on one of the armchairs; Janet and Claire were sitting on the couch with Johnny between them and Malachi in Johnny’s lap. They were all eating solemnly, sandwiches and homemade chips and Daniel hadn’t stopped moving since the backyard and Jack wondered if he was just going to keep going until it was time for bed so they wouldn’t have to keep talking about anything even though he had been ready to an hour ago.

Jack was going to have to take this one for the team, it was too much for Daniel to handle at the moment apparently not that Jack understood why, he was good with the kids and talking about things that needed discussing. Apparently this is just a continuation of Daniel thinking he wasn’t a good dad and it was going to take more than one session with Erica to work through it.

“Guys we need to talk about what Daddy and I are going to do. How we are going to deal with some of the things that happened.”

“Is this about the moving thing again?” Zada asked gently. She tightened her hand around her brother’s hand while they waited for Jack to answer.

“This is more than that, somehow we all forgot to talk to each other, there are things that we couldn’t talk about and now we’re all hurting. It’s time to change that, okay? We are going to start going to see Erica as a family. We’ll have to see if leaving is the right choice but Uncle Adrian thinks that we should still go.”

“What are we supposed to talk about with Miss Erica?” Zale asked.

“Whatever we need to say,” Jack said gently and turned to look at Daniel who was frozen with a dish in one hand as he headed to the kitchen. Jack pushed away and walked over to sit down on the other couch and held his hand out to beckon towards Daniel. He watched the inner monologue happen in his lover’s head then Daniel put down the stuff in the kitchen and walked over as well. He sat down next to Jack and took his offered hand, Jack felt when he inhaled and exhaled. He wanted to pull Daniel close and help them work this out but this wasn’t just about Daniel and him.

“Are we going to talk about what happened with Zale?” Zada asked even as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

“Whatever we need to talk about,” Jack repeated calmly as he reached out with his hand and rubbed Daniel’s back slowly up and down. Daniel was tense, not accepting the comfort as it was given and Jack tried desperately not to take it personally. Nothing was going to fix this but comfort, love and a whole lot of time. He tried to think back about all the different things that they hadn’t talked about and thinking about what Daniel said about Malachi and when there was a serious faltering in their relationship and their communication. It was so easy to worry about the kids, ignoring the other stuff that was going on and he hated that he’d let it go on for so long.

“Are you going to be with us?” Zada asked.

“I think yes, maybe there will be times when we have to see her separately but for a little while we will just go in together and see what Miss Erica thinks is best.”

Zada nodded and she fell silent, still holding her brother’s hand. Janet and Claire were quiet too, though they had been through so much and seemed to be completely untouched by a lot of the things that the elder Jackson-O’Neill’s were dealing with as well as Johnny.

 _“Papa? Daddy?”_ Johnny called out to them in their minds and Daniel looked up and they both looked at their son, _“I don’t know what to say about what happened with Greer earlier but I think I get it, the decision you have to make. You don’t make it to hurt us; you are making a choice to do the best thing for all of us. I’m sorry about my reaction.”_

Jack give a slight smile to his son, knowing that Johnny still wasn’t happy about what was happening, the possibility of leaving the magical island and all of their friends and protectors was not something he fully understood or agreed with but he was with them anyway. “We can talk about what happened too, maybe you can talk to someone with your abilities and see if you can work out some of the issues you are having but I think we all have to start by talking to each other. You don’t need to be the grown ups here, please let Daddy and I do that for a little bit longer, we just want you to be kids a little longer.”

Everyone watched them for a minute, Daniel still said nothing and Jack waited, still rubbing his back and hoped that his husband would lose some of the tension and silence but it was like opening up with Erica earlier, telling Jack how he felt about some things had just sucked him dry for talking.

“Danny,” Jack whispered, hoping he could cajole a little out of him.

Daniel looked at him, Jack sighed at the sight of his tired and sad eyes shining back with a shimmer of tears that wouldn’t dare fall. Jack nodded a little, pressing his forehead into the side of Daniel’s head and just stayed there still and silent.

“I know it feels like its all just too much right now but we’re together and we’re going to get through this together right?” Jack said to the kids and Daniel. He needed his husband to remember all the times they had made it through and he watched as their children nodded, Daniel still said nothing. It was weird to think Jack was capable of being the chatty parent when Daniel wasn’t able to be.

“You always make it through as long as you’re together,” Zada whispered, something they had been saying to each other for a lot of years.

Janet and Claire giggled at that then spoke in broken chorus though well enough to be understood, “You love each other and us, more than anything else in the world.”

It was a statement and Jack and Daniel both nodded, like the girls needed an answer or maybe right then and there, they needed to answer.

“You always taught us what we needed to know, whether you were magical or not, whether we were magical or not. Its more than we could have ever hoped for or asked for. We’re going to be okay because you love us and we know we are good people.”

They all looked at Zale when he said that and Jack couldn’t help but smile and nod at his son, turning his head but not pulling away from Daniel to do it. “So why don’t we just talk about one thing tonight, start getting ready for the time we spend with Erica, so it won’t be as strange as it could be.”

“It won’t be strange, we have been telling Miss Erica things for years,” Claire responded and Jack snorted.

“How about the fire?” Jack asked gently, it was something they all shared. It was a great loss to them and it had happened in a very difficult time and it was something they all needed to be more honest about. Daniel’s flinch told Jack everything he needed to know to say this was going to be a tough subject but one they were going to have to touch on sooner or later.

“It was scary to know that Lust was the reason we lost everything in our home,” Zada responded.

“Yeah? Because she and her sister were the reason you guys are here, you share genes with them?” Jack asked the kids. Lust wasn’t the biological mother of Zada but she knew the woman. They were all supposed to be family and the sad truth was that the fire happened because of Desire’s behavior and her capture.

Zada shrugged, “She had magic, we came from them and all they did in the end was hurt us. I don’t want to be like that, Zale has already had to give up his powers because they are trying to make him crazy, Johnny is having trouble and who knows about the rest of us. Are we all going to end up like that?”

Daniel finally came alive, pulled away from Jack just enough to reach out and press his hand on Zada’s knee and Zale’s leg, “You are all so amazing and loving, gentle and smarter than I could ever hope to be. Don’t forgot that ever okay my loves?”

Zada nodded, tugging Zale closer in a sideways hug. Zale nodded too, “I know Daddy, I know that I am not them. I’m you and that’s why I got rid of my powers. So I could keep being like you and not him. I did the right thing but the fire, it proved again that magic sometimes, there is no stopping it and it doesn’t fix anything. It hurts us and pits us against each other, that fire was magical and out of control. People were there with the ability to snuff it out but they couldn’t because of the magical component. How is magic helpful again?”

Jack watched his son, watched his husband as they connected and touched each other. This was Jack’s fear come to fruition, that magic was going to harm them more than help them someday and again he couldn’t help but think that he wished he’d never had the thought. Something in the universe had grabbed a hold of it and slipped knife between ribs and dug in, trying to kill something sweet and gentle like their children with this offensive abilities.

He knew though that they were in to deep here to go back to the past again, even if Greer had the ability to take them somewhere they wanted to go, they had friends and family here, Johnny and Greer were important to each other and there was no way that going back to their time was going to fix anything this time. The kids loved their extended family here despite the pain of the present.

Daniel spoke after a few minutes, “Magic is like every other convenience, like technology and faith, mythology and scientific search for truth. They all have good things and bad things about them; we have just been seeing a lot of bad things lately. I know for a fact that we are all able to learn to live with the magic, we just need a little help.”

“If you hadn’t had us, Lust and Desire would never have had a reason to come after you,” Janet said quietly and everyone turned to her. Jack’s heart clenched at the words, terrified to even think about what they meant. Daniel choked off a whimper, turning it into a cough and he shifted onto the floor in front of his daughter, taking her hands while the other children cooed and comforted with their proximity. Daniel didn’t speak and Jack decided he couldn’t stand the silence.

“Janet, my sweet special girl, this isn’t your fault. It’s not Daddy’s fault or my fault. The fire was no one’s fault but Lust’s, Desire is at fault for what happened to me and Malachi and Daddy. I have no doubt that I speak for your father when I say that no matter what we lost in the house, having you to love and raise has been worth it every single day.”

Daniel nodded quickly, “You guys know it was just a house, it was sad when we lost it but at least none of us were in there when it happened. It was only stuff.”

“We’ve heard your thoughts more than once in our lifetimes,” Zada whispered and Jack frowned at her. She was staring at Daniel and he watched as their Daddy pulled back but Zada and the twins didn’t let him pull away and he didn’t refuse the contact though he looked worried about what he was transmitting to them. Jack couldn’t help but be concerned as well. What had they been hearing?

“You heard my fears, that we aren’t going to be enough for you because we aren’t magical? Did you hear my crazy scenarios about you being without magic?” he asked and Jack didn’t like his tone at all, there was no emotion in it at all. Daniel was shut down with their children and Jack couldn’t believe it even as it was happening in front of him.

Zada nodded, “We’ve grown into a lot of our powers over the years and for me its not just when we are touching anymore. I have heard you wonder for seconds here and there if we are better off with someone else, do you not want us anymore?” Zada asked and Jack choked for a second while Daniel flopped down on his butt and stared at his daughter in shock and agonizing guilt. Jack reached out and placed his hand on Daniel’s shoulder who shook it off. Jack sighed, gritting his teeth so hard it hurt the back of his jaw, trying desperately not to take that personally but it was getting harder to do so. He swallowed the need to bark orders at Daniel, knowing that it wouldn’t help; it would only push Daniel farther away than he was at the moment.

“I didn’t think those things because of you, I thought them because I was scared I wouldn’t be enough anymore. Is this why you guys started hiding things? Did you hide them because you figured that if your father and I weren’t having to deal with magical problems, then it wouldn’t be as bad for us?” Daniel assured but Zada didn’t look reassured.

“Zade?” he whispered the command, that she answer her father.

“There was a lot going on and it felt like too much for all of us, it wasn’t just you worrying about things like that,” Zada whispered.

Jack sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face, “This is exactly why we are going to meetings with Miss Erica, and there is no reason for this. No one is leaving anyone behind in this family. We are all in this together, is that understood!?” he demanded.

“Yes Papa,” the children answered together, Johnny’s voice filled their minds as well. Daniel still sat on the floor, looking at his knees in front of him. Jack figured this wasn’t going anywhere good at the moment; he looked over Daniel’s light brown head and motioned for them to go. They all got to their feet, Janet and Claire helping Malachi into Daniel’s waiting arms, all of them kissed Daniel on the head or the cheek as they walked past him and Jack accepted kisses and hugs from them as well before they headed up the stairs and to bed. Daniel didn’t move, keeping Malachi in his lap and hugging their son gently. Malachi was surprisingly content there but then he was also getting close to bedtime as well so he was used to cuddles before his final bottle before bed.

“Let’s go put Malachi to bed and then go ourselves,” Jack said gently, still trying not to force anything more than what they had already opened up today, Daniel was stretched out, raw and clearly incapable of dealing with anything that had happened.

Daniel nodded and they both rose from the chair and the floor, Daniel moved like an old man, incapable of his normal animal grace. Jack didn’t reach out, pained with the sadness he felt when he couldn’t reach out for his lover, his partner in life. He hoped this wasn’t going to be the way of things forever, that Daniel would feel so out of sync with them. He couldn’t determine what it was going to look like and that scared Jack more than anything. He didn’t know what Daniel would choose, to talk to him or not. He didn’t know if Daniel was capable of coming back to the way they were before everything happened but part of him didn’t really care, he just wanted Daniel with him, as much or as little as Daniel was capable of giving. He watched as Daniel walked upstairs and changed Malachi, got him into his crib with his little bottle of milk before they walked back to their bedroom. Jack closed the door behind them both, watching as Daniel rummaged and grabbed clothes for both of them, they finished their nightly rituals and then they walked to their sides of the bed and Jack looked across the expanse of their bed and caught Daniel’s gaze, holding it.

“Talking won’t help right now?” Jack asked gently.

“No, it won’t help,” Daniel whispered back as they tugged the blankets back and climbed into bed. “Would you hold me though?” Daniel whispered and Jack stifled the grunt of happiness that wanted to turn into a whine. He didn’t want to make that desperate sound, something that told Daniel just how scared he was that Jack wouldn’t be allowed into what his partner was feeling.

“Of course Danny,” Jack whispered instead, pulling Daniel into his side and tucking them together in a masterful way born of years of knowing each other and fitting together like mismatched puzzle pieces that shouldn’t fit but did.

“I know you’re scared, you don’t have to be strong here with me.”

Jack clicked his tongue, “You don’t get it Danny, we both can’t be falling apart at the same time.”

“You can fall apart here though, we both can. It was a tough day and you don’t have to be strong all the time.”

Jack tucked his chin into the side of Daniel’s neck, pressing a kiss there and feeling the pulse point in his neck with his lips. Daniel sighed into the contact, hoping against hope that Daniel would never let him go. “I don’t want you to pull away from me anymore, you were so stiff and nothing I could do was helping. Then Zada said what she did and it was like watching your heart break, Danny and I don’t think I can dare to see it again and again.”

Daniel nodded, barely enough to dislodged Jack’s cuddled position. “It’s not broken, just a little stretched, we can make it through this. It was hard to know that we hadn’t been hiding that stuff from them as well as we could, as well as I could. I wish she had never heard any of those things because I love them more than life itself and I would never give them up to anyone, even if it is in their best interest.”

Jack smiled, pressing another kiss to the edge of Daniel’s jaw, “She knows, they all do. She is just being honest where they had all chosen to lie for a while now. They knew enough to pretend they were doing okay, maybe they won’t have to, they can be honest about what’s happening to them and we can all work on things together instead of fumbling around in the dark so much.”

“You think I’m fumbling around in the dark?” Daniel husked, his arms gripping Jack’s hands close to him, keeping their contact tight and warm.

“Yeah love, I do,” Jack whispered back and Daniel grinned, the stretching in his jaw bone translating through their skin to skin contact. Jack pressed another kiss to the underside of Daniel’s jaw and settled in to sleep, there was nothing more to say besides—“Daniel you know I love you right?”

Daniel smiled again, “Yeah Jack, no matter how much I screw up, you love me.”

“Don’t forget okay? And when I screw up please don’t forgot to love me too.”

“Of course I won’t Jack,” Daniel whispered and they fell silent. Jack closed his eyes and listened to the slowing thrum of Daniel’s breathing, the subtle changes as Daniel started to fall asleep and he refused to let his husband go, there was not a lot he could do these days, he had no powers to protect their children, he wasn’t even an active soldier anymore, they had done more harm than good to the special relationship they once had with the queen and her family and there wasn’t much else Jack could do to help their children.

He could do this though; he could hold his husband close and keep him safe and content in the safety of their bedroom in the security of their home. That was one thing he could do and he refused to back down for the rest of the night, holding Daniel becoming more important than any other thing right now in this moment.

Tomorrow would only bring more truth, more difficulty so Jack ignored tomorrow in favor of doing something today that would help him and Daniel to get through the next day.

And they would, Jack thought resolutely before he forced his breathing into a rhythm and his heartbeat to follow Daniel’s lead into sleeping, though he didn’t seem to be able to actually get himself to sleep.

Daniel mumbled a little, in between sleep and wakefulness, “Sleep Jack.”

And so he did.


End file.
